


It all began from Shakespeare

by VenlaMatleena



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friendship, London, References to Shakespeare, Studying, Tom Hiddleston teaching Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 61,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenlaMatleena/pseuds/VenlaMatleena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on an one-shot, although I have altered the original story slightly; added dialogue and built the story more, to get some meat around the bones so to speak... Or that's how we Finns say at least :D</p>
<p>Alright, so you (reader) are a student in University College London and because it is the 190th anniversary (jubilee) there is a course about Shakespeare and the teacher is Tom Hiddleston.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Better to give in

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not bully, bullying sucks ass :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Ps. I've never visited London and this is a fanFICTION, so I will rather focus on the story than the fact-checking, so sorry Londoners; I mean no offence when I do not "handle" your city :D  
> Pps: The story is based on a nightmare I had the other night, I hope that in real life people in universities/colleges generally speaking are no bullies :)

Sitting alone, again, like you always did. Whether it was on a lunch break in the cafeteria or during the classes, the only attention you got from your classmates was the unfriendly kind. You were not exactly sure what you had done or what you were doing on daily basis to annoy them so much or maybe they were only that kind of bastards who enjoyed making life hard and almost intolerable for other people.  
You had recently begun your studies in the University College London where you had moved from (your city/homeland). You did not know anyone and since you were pushing 30 already you were almost 10 years older than everybody else which meant that you were living in your own apartment, rented but no student dorm arrangement, and rather spent most of your nights with a good book than out getting wasted. Besides no one asked you anywhere anyway, maybe it was your different accent or slightly different looks, or the fact that you had been lucky enough to get extra credits for your previous studies and work experience so you did not have to attend all the classes.

The teachers noticed that you were being picked on during the classes but they never reacted. Maybe they assumed that since you were that much older than the rest of the class, you surely did not mind and if you did, you could defend yourself. First months you had stood your ground but it had only achieved a few discussions with the university’s counselor, who, read between the lines, assumed that you had provoked the situation and was taking things way too personal; your class mates were barely adults after all and you as a reasonable and more experienced adult should try to remember what it was like to grow up and face all the troubles that were part of the growing process and “that age”. This annoyed you greatly. It was not like you had been a relic from the ancient times, no, you were just as much growing and learning to be an adult as everybody else.  
So you gave in because defending oneself never made the situation any better, only worse. You stopped fighting and tried to blend in so no one would notice you and maybe if you were lucky enough they would just let you be. You did not want to drop out because you had been working and saving money for this opportunity. You had been dreaming about studying far away from home, literature, acting, history of theater and you had been applying many times until you had finally gotten in, now on the verge of saying goodbye to the twentysomethings and embracing the whole new decade.  
It was Monday, the beginning of new semester. You had celebrated the New Years Eve alone, well you had been having a long Skype-call with your friends and family but that was it. You had gone to the downtown to see the fireworks and then gone home. Some drunken guy had tried to get you home and then started a quarrel when you had politely declined. You had gone home and taken a quick shower before going to bed.

Then the rest of the remaining holiday you had been reading and getting ready for the following semester which also began the 190th jubilee. Not that you really cared, but you had read the brochure that had promised exciting events and courses, a two-week intensive course of William Shakespeare, which was followed by two-week intensive acting course about the plays of the famous writer. You had been lucky to get in because the number of attending students had been limited. The brochure also revealed that the lecturer for the course, for the both parts actually, was Tom Hiddleston, who was your favorite actor. He was talented and funny, down to earth, smart but warm and on top of that he was tall and handsome. However for you Mr. Hiddleston was not the reason why you had applied for the course, it was only the cherry on the top and you had decided that whatever happened, you would not behave like the traditional fangirl, oh-no, you would be… professional, cool but in a friendly way, but not too friendly, appreciative but no kiss-ass… and you would pay attention. You would enjoy the course because it probably was the highlight of your academic career.


	2. Finally fitting in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The intensive Shakespeare -course begins...

You were in the classroom early, sitting in the last row, furthest corner which had become a safe haven for you because if you sat in the front of in the middle, you surely had something thrown at you at some point. The worst had been when you had been forced to cut a lock of your hair to get a piece of chewing gum off. You were deep in your thoughts when a tall man came in.  
\- Oh hello. he said. You lifted your gaze from the course material and smiled briefly. You were actually surprised that he even greeted you. The man was wearing casual jeans and a T-shirt with a black jacket. He looked sharp but still very… down to earth, fashionable in a very simple way; almost like he had just walked to the closet in the morning and managed to nail the perfect clothing-combo without seeming too… “I want to look cool and irresistible”. After making this notion your gaze fell back on your papers.  
\- You do realize that you are first to show up so you could take advantage and sit in the front? he began and walked to the second last row of the auditorium to stand right in front of you. You raised your head and recognized the man. It was Tom Hiddleston, standing there, leaning to the other table and talking to you.  
\- Thanks but… I like to sit in the back. you answered and tapped the pencil against the table nervously.  
\- Alright, alright. he said and nodded. He was returning to the teachers table and stated jokingly  
\- But keep in mind that I will still ask you difficult questions. There is no hiding from me.  
You made a “gotcha” –gesture and sighed. The auditorium started to fill up with people and the class begun. The lecturer introduced himself, although everybody knew who he was. It was the one reason why the class had been so popular after all and there were only a couple of guys among 50 attendants. 

Tom spoke about his love for Shakespeare and why he held the play writer in such great value, what Shakespeare had meant for the English literature and culture in general. After that it was time for everyone to introduce themselves. When it was your time to do so he noticed that a couple of students were laughing with each other and giving you cheap glares, they mimicked each other your accent and the way you said your name to but Tom decided to defend you by saying “such beautiful name suits the beautiful lady”. Fortunately there were only a few of those students that you usually studied. The course after all had been open to all the faculties and classes.  
When the first lecture ended, you were the last to leave the room.  
\- (Y/N). Tom called when you were exiting the auditorium.  
\- Uhuh?  
\- Is everything alright? he asked and looked very concerned.  
\- Yeah. you answered and smiled briefly.  
\- Hm, I just keep getting a feeling that you would have so many interesting ideas to share, but you are keeping them to yourself, which is practically a crime… he said and leaned to the edge of the teachers table.  
\- I wonder why that is. he said, although he more like asked. His face looked thoughtful, almost as if he had been struggling to figure you out.  
\- I… thank for the feedback… you answered and nodded.  
\- You did not answer my question. he stated.  
\- Technically you did not ask, you said that you “wonder”…  
\- Oh, you are clinging onto words…  
\- Isn’t that what this course is about? I would say that it only serves the purpose and theme…  
\- Fair enough, I shall choose my words better next time. Tom chuckled and if your eyes were not completely fooling you, he might had been blushing slightly.  
\- Till tomorrow. you said and walked out from the auditorium.  
\- Looking forward to it. he mumbled to himself and started to pack his things to his satchel. 

The week passed like that. You were absorbing every piece of knowledge you could get from the visiting lecturers passion and for the first time you felt like you belonged somewhere. This was exactly what you had hoped the studying to be; adults behaving in a civilized manner, inspiring lecturer, fascinating subject… You sometimes ended up having a friendly debate about something after the class or during the break… And suddenly it was Friday and the first week was almost over.

\- May I sit here. a familiar voice asked you during the lunch break. You were sitting alone again but this time one certain Shakespeare –fan insisted on sitting with you.  
\- Sure. you answered. You made him room because you had spread your books and notes quite wide. He sat down and started to eat. He was having fish and chips and some boiled peas that acted the part of the “vegetables” on the plate.  
\- Don’t you like fish and chips? he asked casually and stared at your salad. You were playing with the cherry tomatoes with your fork. He was just about to attack the fish.  
\- I do, a lot actually, I had it yesterday… and I must warn you…  
Tom stopped and looked at you and asked  
\- Warn… me?  
\- Yeah… There is no salt, or any other kind of seasoning in the fish. you answered. Tom put a piece of fish into his mouth and chewed for a moment. He clearly was not impressed. You handed him a grinder that had salt and pepper for additional flavor.  
\- I told you. you mumbled.  
\- Well, this is an insult for a British classic. he whispered and checked out that no one working at the cafeteria had heard him disapproving the food. He did not want to sound like a snob but there was a certain amount of national pride in him after all.  
\- I know a great place where they sell the best fish and chips money can buy… I could take you there. he said casually.  
\- Ha-ha! I suppose it would be… unfair towards this fine country to refuse the opportunity to get close and personal with the culture and what better way to get familiar with one than the cuisine, humor and people. you answered, or joked. You just replied to a joke with a joke, that’s cool, right? Tom was no sure if you had declined his invitation or actually accepted it. He grinded some spices on the fish and decided to season also the peas and the fries.  
\- No! Don-  
\- What? he asked and stopped.  
\- The fries and the peas were very salty yesterday. you stated. Tom put the spice-grinder away and tasted the food. He shook his head and laughed.  
\- I bet they are serving the yesterdays leftovers reheated today. he mumbled and drank some water. You chuckled.  
\- Maybe the point was to eat them at the same time and then it would had worked just fine… he continued.  
\- Who knows… Why don’t you go and ask and while you’re at it… Feel free to give them a review for the culinary experience that you just had. you joked.  
\- Ehehehe! It would be too cruel.  
\- Yeah. you commented. A silence followed.  
\- So you like to keep your distance, why is that?  
\- Uhm…  
\- Did you notice that this time I actually asked a question?  
\- I did!  
\- I am learning.  
\- Ha-ha! Well… I really haven’t been fitting in…  
\- That’s… odd… he commented and put down his fork as well as his knife.  
\- You seem to fit in famously. I am not quite sure what you’re talking about.  
\- Well, your course has been easy to fit in because it has been very interesting… The subject fascin-…  
\- How about the teacher? he asked. He was flirting a little because he found you interesting. He thought that your ideas, opinions and answers were intriguing and he was curious to know you more.  
\- Teacher is…  
\- Okay?  
\- Yeah, he’s alright. you joked and laughed. It was refreshing to have a conversation with someone more of your own age for a change. You talked about the literature and acting in general until it was time for you leave because your class was about to begin.  
\- Have a nice weekend. you said and left. Tom did not have time to react because his mouth was just full. That made him disappointed. Maybe he could had asked you out for a drink or something, because he had enjoyed the conversation with you, or all the conversations no matter how short. He reasoned that there was no reason why he should not ask you out; you were both adults and he was not really a teacher, so why not!


	3. Getting to know the culture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are there sparks or is he just being friendly?

During the next class some people were making fun of you by saying that you were too old to be such a fan-girl, teachers favorite and what you were doing was just pathetic. What you had been doing? You had just paid attention to the subject and it was not your fault that the lecturer had come to sit with you during the lunch. And it certainly was not your fault that the lecturer happened to be Tom Hiddleston, the British charmer. You sighed and concentrated on the subject. Sometimes you drifted deep into your thoughts and stared at the corrections that Tom had made to your short essay about the moral lesson behind Hamlet.

The weekend slipped away quickly and it was Monday again, not that you had minded, because you really did not. You were the first student to enter the auditorium again but this time Tom was appointing you to sit in the first row. You hesitated but then decided to take your chances and you were surprised that you did not find anything from your hair, not even small pieces of eraser.  
The week passed by quickly and you shared lunches with Tom every day. Sometimes you managed to talk only 5 minutes and sometimes you got late from the next class because you completely forgot to check the time. On Friday he suggested that you would meet on Saturday and go see a stand-up –comedy show and you accepted his invitation. You gave him your number and he promised to call you.

He called you that evening. You were just making yourself some dinner while you were watching a movie.  
\- (Y/N). you answered because the call came from an unknown number.  
\- Hi (Y/N)!  
\- Hi… you greeted the caller but it sounded more like a question.  
\- Tom, it’s Tom… from school. he clarified. You burst into laughter. You had not recognized the voice on the phone.  
\- Yeah, of course! Sorry… What’s up?  
\- Nothing… just another boring Friday evening… I was just thinking about you…  
\- Oh… you must be very bored then!  
\- I am not bored anymore.  
\- Ha-ha… My two special powers; be finicky about words and banish boredom by answering the phone.  
\- Yeah… I am sure you have plenty of other talents as well… I just don’t know you well enough yet.  
\- Bold statement! You are implying that there is actually more about me than you have seen during these 2 weeks.  
\- Ehehehehe! I guess I am. he commented. For a moment there was not ongoing conversation.  
At this point you were looking at the TV screen and focused on the scene where a killer was chasing the non-important character upstairs. Tom had been silent for some time and you had almost like forgotten that you were actually talking on the phone. “Oh-no-no-no! Why do you run upstairs? Why do you always run upstairs? There is nothing there, just a dead end… Yeah… What did I tell you? Stup-“  
\- Who are you talking to? Tom asked suddenly.  
\- Oh… sorry, I’m watching a movie and… I sometimes comment… Anyway… So… You were thinking about me-huh?  
\- Yes. I… wanted to hear your voice and-uhm-tell you that I am excited about tomorrow.  
\- Yeah! Stand-up comedy is the best… I appreciate the invitation.  
It was not exactly what he had meant, what he had wanted to say was that he was looking forward seeing you. It really did not matter what you were the occasion and surroundings to meet you as long as he got to meet you outside the university.  
\- What movie are you watching? he asked suddenly.  
\- A highly forgettable, plainly mediocre thriller… Wait for a sec… you said and focused on the movie. It was the final scene. “Yeah… yeah… basement is much better… Well of course! Because no murderer followed anyone to the basement, ever.” You paused the movie.  
\- You know what frustrates me about movies? They always run upstairs or into the basement. How about calling the polic-  
\- There is never reception… Tom stated.  
\- Ah… another horror-cliché… Like the “car never-  
\- Starts” –cliché. Or the killer walks and catches you despite the victim is running. he said with an amused tone.  
\- Well yeah… because they always run to the freaking upstairs!  
\- Ehehehe. Yeah… So I’ll meet you tomorrow at six?  
\- AM or PM?  
\- PM.  
\- Oh, damn… it would had been nice to spend whole day with you. you joked, or well, really didn’t joke.  
\- Where? you asked before Tom could react and took a piece of paper and a pen to write it down.  
\- You know what, I’ll come to get you. he suggested. You gave him your address and then wished him goodnight. He thanked you for a wonderful and boredom-banishing phone call and then hung up.

The next day he was waiting for you 17:55 in front of your apartment building. You waved at him from the window and then put on your coat and then headed down. It was colder than usual and there was a little bit snow on the ground. It had fell during the previous night and driven the city into chaos.  
\- Hey. you greeted Tom. It felt slightly strange to see him outside the school. He looked very handsome standing in the white snow.  
\- Well hello, Miss. You look very pretty today… or always… but also today. he mumbled the last part. You walked side by side to the metro station and took the train downtown. You talked about the topics that were somehow connected to literature and movies or British culture. Then you arrived to the bar that was hosting the stand-up event. Tom had bought the tickets so you bought the drinks although he objected.  
The stand-up made you laugh so hard and sometimes you did not quite understand the jokes but in those cases your date… not-date… explained the key points of the joke so you understood the most of them in the end. He watched you laughing and clapping with such a wide smile on your face that it was almost impossible to recognize the silent, reserved person that rather hid herself in the far-corners and sat silently watching other people living their lives the fullest.  
After the stand-up Tom said that he had “a thing” later and he had to end the evening early. You smiled and said “yeah, of course”. You were slightly disappointed and in order to cover it you mumbled something about having to study for an exam anyway although there was no exam scheduled.  
\- How about a nice Sunday brunch tomorrow? he asked.  
\- Sure. That sounds… nice… good… you said and tried to come up with a witty adjective.  
\- …tast-  
\- Delicious! he said at the same time.  
\- -y. Yeah… Shall I come and get you this time? you asked and then realized that he probably, more like most likely, did not want to give his address to a stranger. However he said that he will text you his address and be ready for pickup at 11 AM. You nodded and then said goodnight before you both went to your separate ways. it had been a very relaxing evening, just what you had needed.

The next morning you woke up early, put on your favorite clothes and used plenty of time on your face and hair. Then you took a bus to the address he had texted you quite soon after saying goodbyes. He had a cozy restaurant in mind so he knew where to take you which made you relieved because you had been afraid that he would ask you for recommendation. You had not been visiting that many restaurants during your stay in London so it would had been awkward for you not to be able to suggest anything.  
The brunch-buffet was great. There were plenty to choose from; almost anything you could had imagined to desire eating on a slow, friendly, casual Sunday late-breakfast. Tom found a table from a silent corner and helped you to sit down. He asked you quite a lot about you, personal things that had no connection to the ongoing course. You did not dare to ask him about his relationship status or anything too personal although he told you without asking, which made you a little confused. It has nothing to do with the course or Shakespeare. Yes, you had met just previous night your topics had always somehow concerned the culture and you had assumed that it and this had been just “an extra course to the British way of life” you know; cuisine, humor and people and in this case Tom was the native who was “the people”. He walked you to the bus stop, waited with you for 20 minutes because you had just missed the previous one and hugged you before you stepped into the bus.


	4. I saved the best to last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The acting part of the course begins.

On Monday began the acting –part of the course. You did not gather in the auditorium anymore but in the hall that was used during celebrations. He handed out papers to the students, to you the last. The papers had dialogues for certain plays that you all had to memorize with your partner. There were 3 students that were absent which left the pairs uneven. When no one wanted to pair up with you, mostly because everyone else had a friend there, you stepped aside and concentrated to the dialogue.  
“Act 1, Scene 4 from Romeo and Juliet” you read silently. You read the poem through over and over again. “I saved the best for last” he mumbled half-aloud when he walked behind you, you however did not hear him.

\- Ahem… he begun which made you jump slightly. He laughed at your sudden heart attack and smiled in the most adorable way. He looked almost shy which puzzled you. He was after all a famous actor and you were just… no one… you were no one special in your own opinion anyway, or maybe you were now friends… No, you were still just a student… an ordinary no one.  
\- We should practice. he said and glanced through the paper.  
\- I see… he muttered and tried to seem unsuspicious. You smiled and looked casually around; you saw many jealous faces, although you had no idea why this honor had been granted to you. You were back in the normal setting after all and in this setting there was nothing going on between you two. Well there was nothing going on between you two anyway, but now you had to tell yourself that more frequently.

Getting used to the old-style-English was a little challenging to you at first but Tom was happy to help you all the time. You went through the lines with him and then it was time to end the lecture for Monday and get some lunch. He had no time for lunch that day but you exchanged a few words in private before he ran to an interview.  
The next day the pairs continued practicing the dialogues and Tom spent time with each pair to give useful tips and explained them what the words meant. Then he returned to you and practiced the dialogue with you and you missed the lunch. The time was just slipping away and you couldn’t help feeling very privileged for such attention. The more you spent time with him the weaker your knees felt when he smiled at you.  
On Wednesday morning it was time to perform the dialogues. What you did not know was that all the dialogues had been randomly selected for the pairs, all but one; Tom had selected the one for you and him on purpose and you were the last pair to perform.

ROMEO [To JULIET]  
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand  
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:  
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand  
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”  
Tom begun, standing a little further away. He walked a little closer.

JULIET  
“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,  
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;  
For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,  
And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”  
You recited your lines and turned to face him.

ROMEO  
“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

JULIET  
“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”

ROMEO  
“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;  
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

JULIET  
“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

ROMEO  
“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”

By this time he had taken your hands and was standing right in front of you. He looked straight into your eyes with a shy smile and then leaned closer. Before you knew it his lips were on yours, just as modestly as Shakespeare had intended. When he released your lips your heart was pounding and mind spinning. You opened your eyes and looked at him with an expression that was both surprised and taken aback.   
\- Part of the scene, love. he whispered, winked his eye at you and then addressed the group.  
\- This was the scene where Romeo steals Juliets first kiss… Did you recognize how they first speak their lines as a dialogue but towards the end the dialogue becomes actually a shared monologue which represents the way they are connected… Able to finish each others sentences.   
You smiled casually although you were still recovering. You had not been practicing that, you had had no idea that the scene even included a kiss. Tom ended the class and then walked to you.  
\- I need to talk to you, later… after school. Call me when you’ll get home. he said and then looked at you with a hopeful look on his face. You nodded and took your things. Then you headed to grab a quick lunch and proceeded with the schedule.


	5. Smiles and bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traffic can be dangerous.

During the next classes there was a lot of mockery and bullying because the few classmates who were lucky enough to attend the Shakespeare –course had shared what they had witnessed with everyone in the class. When the last class ended you rushed out, took your bike and headed home. There was a busy intersection just outside the campus with traffic lights.  
Your worst bullies were heading to their dorm at the same time, they saw you waiting for the lights to turn green. A girl who was jealous at you challenged his boyfriend to throw an apple at you. The guy laughed and said “watch this!”  
The light turned green so you hopped on your bike and drove to the zebra crossing. The apple hit you in your back and you turned your head as a reaction to look what was going on. That distracted you and prevented you from seeing a car that was approaching the intersection with a plan to run red lights. You heard a loud screech as the driver hit the brakes. However it was too late. The car hit the bike and you flew to the windshield. At that point everything went black.  
The driver got out from the car and found you laying on the street on your stomach in front of his car. Your arm was in an unnatural position and there was blood on your forehead. The classmates repeated “oh shit” many times and then finally one of them called the emergency services. The driver had hit his head as well and was in a shock.

Tom was waiting for your call anxiously. When his phone did not ring he decided to call you and he did so many times during evening. The next morning he went to the university like the usual but you were not there either. During the break he tried to call you again but there was no answer, your phone could not even be reached. He was starting to get afraid that he had crossed a line and that was why you were avoiding him. He asked casually if anyone knew where you were but no one knew and the ones that knew said nothing because they had been playing a part in the accident.  
The next day you were missing as well and during the first break he finally asked a teacher. The accident was the top-news in the teachers lounge now that the news had reached them. When Tom heard it he cancelled the second part of the lecture and went to the hospital.

You were awake. The car had luckily managed to slow down enough that when you had hit the windshield, you had just rolled down and not flown many meters due to the great impact caused by speed, it was very fortunate indeed that there had not been that much speed involved. Your left arm was broken below your elbow as well as your wrist had taken hit and you had a couple of fractured ribs, and yes, a nasty bruise on your forehead as well as some other bruises, a slight concussion but otherwise you were pretty much alright, although you had been unconscious for a little over one day.  
You stared at the ceiling and listened to the hospital sounds. You hated hospitals; they sounded, felt and smelled weird, ominous somehow. You knew that most of the people that came to a hospital left it alive and well but then again… there was a reason why there was a morgue right downstairs. There would be no morgue right in the basement if everyone always survived, case closed, you won the argument. 

The door opened and closed. There had been nurses running in and out the whole day because you did not have the luxury of a private room so you did not care to look.  
\- How are you feeling?  
You recognized the voice immediately. It was Tom.  
\- I survive. They have doped me up with drugs so I’m good. you joked and started to laugh. You had been given quite strong painkillers so you were slightly high.  
\- Yes, I’ve heard that they do that. he commented and sat beside the bed, on the right side.  
\- What’s the damage? he asked.  
\- One broken arm, a few fractured ribs and some bruises. It’s not exactly a winner for the injury-bingo but then again… I guess I am lucky. you answered.  
\- Certainly! he exclaimed. A silence followed. You were quite tired so it was challenging to keep the conversation going on.  
\- I had no idea… I would had come sooner if-  
\- It’s okay. I am sorry that I did not call… The hospital has a rather strict no-calls-policy or maybe the nurses here are just a bunch of dicks. And technically I never got home.  
\- You certainly did not. Do you know when you’ll get to go home?  
\- Tomorrow. That is… if I’ll survive the night. you joked.  
\- Hey, don’t say that. Tom commented with a concerned look on his face. You knew that look so well from many of his movies.  
\- I’m just teasing you. You are so cute when you’re worried. you chuckled.  
\- Well you have an awful taste of humor.  
\- Blame the drugs. you said and smiled wearily.  
\- I should probably let you sleep. he said and squeezed your hand. You answered with a silent “hm” and closed your eyes. Tom got himself a cup of tea and a newspaper. He also called to the university and cancelled the tomorrows lecture. He returned by your bed to keep guard. 

After a few hours you woke up to a terrible nightmare and a painful headache that followed when you gained full awareness. The painkillers had worn out and every part of your body was aching more or less, the headache was the worst.  
Your bed was next to the window which was on the left side. The evening sun was shining right into your eyes it made the headache worse. You looked at your right side where Tom was still sitting. He was reading news with his phone because he had finished the newspaper some time ago.  
\- Hi… you said barely audible. Tom put his phone immediately and focused on you.  
\- How are you feeling?  
\- Well… Shall I sugarcoat it or…  
\- Just give it to me.  
\- I think the painkillers have left the building. Can you do me a favor?  
\- Of course, love.  
\- Can you close the curtains? The sunlight is making my brain explode.  
\- Oh… Sure. he answered and walked to the window. He closed the curtains which caused loud objection among the roomies. They really liked sunshine.  
\- Just… open them. you mumbled and watched Tom pulling the curtains aside. Then he walked to the chair and carried it to the left side of the bed. He sat down very close to the bed and kept a perfect posture so his shadow landed on your face.  
\- Better? he asked with a smile on his face.  
\- Although now I cannot hold your hand. he continued.  
\- But I can always do this instead. he said, put his hand on your shoulder and stroked the fabric of the hospital gown with his thumb. You replied with a chuckle.  
\- Do you remember anything about the accident?  
\- No, only that I crossed with green lights. I am certain about it. But after that… nothing.  
\- Don’t worry. It is pretty normal for brain to block out traumatic experiences.  
The nurse came into the room. She announced that the visiting hours were now over and the guests had to leave. Tom tried to persuade the nurse to give him a special permission to stay but it was not granted.  
\- You were right… the nurses here are bunch of dicks. he joked.  
\- Maybe I could hide under the bed until they put the lights off. he continued.  
\- Just go. I’ll be alright. you assured him. He ran his fingers on your cheek slowly before getting up.  
\- Thank you… for being here. you said barely aloud.  
\- Of course.  
He left the room and soon the nurse came to give you a new dosage of painkillers to help you sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 1-5 have been dedicated to Lala lala, who asked for continuation for the original one-shot.
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated :)


	6. Chicken wok and noodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get out from the hospital

The doctor woke you up in the morning. He had come to ask you how you were doing and brought you your prescription for strong painkillers that should take the edge away from the pain. He gave you instructions for the plaster cast and the dos and don’ts for finger training; keeping your fingers mobile was important for the healing especially after your wrist had got better.   
Tom walked in and greeted the doctor. He asked the doctor to give him the key pointers for ensuring your speedy recovery. He told Tom that it would be smart for you to stay in bed for a couple of days but after that there was no reason why you couldn’t attend the classes if you felt like it and had no severe pains to deal with. Physical exertions had to be avoided and you had to stay cautious about your ribs as well as your arm. They would heal in 4-5 weeks but in the meantime you should let them rest.  
Tom had come to the hospital by car and took you first to the pharmacy and then home. He parked the car outside and then followed you in.

\- Come in. you said made him room. You took off your jacket that had been on your shoulders because the cast in your left arm kind of prevented you from putting it on in a normal way. You took off your shoes and then offered Tom a hanger for his jacket. He followed your lead and took off his shoes, then he walked further. Your apartment was small but very cozy. It was almost noon because there had been a long queue in the pharmacy.  
\- Have you eaten? you asked and walked to the fridge. You opened the door and witnessed what you already knew; it was empty.  
\- You should rest… I will make some lunch. he said.  
\- Ahem… That’s just it. I am lacking ingredients.  
\- Not a problem. You will go to bed and I will get something from the shop. I am quite sure I saw a market nearby on our way here.  
\- Yeah-yeah… there is corner shop, right across the street. I can easily go myself, I’m not completely handicapped you know.  
\- I know, but I promised the doctor to make sure that you will rest… besides I am the teacher and you have to follow my instructions.  
\- You’re impossible.  
\- Get used to it, love.  
\- “Love”. you mumbled.  
\- Is it a British thing? you asked with a curious look on your face. The whole friendship –thing was messing up with your head. It was hard enough to keep your mind in check when he was around but it was twice as hard when he did that; called you “love” although surely it was just a thing, a synonym for “friend” or something. Besides he was a warm and friendly person in general and therefore you decided not to misread the signals and assume anything… more.  
\- What?  
\- That “love” –thing?  
\- Would you prefer “baby, honey, darling or sweety”?  
\- No… “love” is good. I was just… never mind. you said and smiled. You decided not to bother your head with that anymore. Tom told you to go and get some rest while he would run by the shop and then prepare lunch. You did not object and walked to the bedroom. Tom followed you, kissed your forehead and made sure that you were comfortable before leaving the apartment. You fell asleep almost immediately because the strong painkillers made you sleepy.

Tom came back. He had bought 2 full bags of foods so you did not have to stress yourself about shopping. After unpacking everything he came to see you in the bedroom, just to make sure that you were alright. He found you sleeping peacefully on your back, resting your broken arm on your stomach. He admired your delicate features for a moment and then returned into the kitchen. He started to cook lunch, nice chicken wok with Asian-style spices and rice-noodles. You woke up before he was ready and walked to the living room which had a view to the kitchen.  
\- How did you sleep? he asked. You had managed to sleep only two hours but that time you had slept better than the entire time in the hospital. There was just too much noise and you did not sleep well in strange beds, besides one of your roomies had been snoring quite loudly.  
You yawned before answering.  
\- Yeah… it was okay. I usually like to sleep on my side so this sleeping-on-my-back takes some time to get used to.  
\- So you’re perfect for sleeping in a spoon. he commented casually, a blush appeared on his face. You were speechless for a moment, then fortunately you came up with a witty comeback.  
\- That is when I am not injured. Anyway… What are you cooking?  
\- Chicken wok and noodles, I hope you approve.  
\- Totally! you exclaimed. No one ever cooked for you so you really did not care to complain, you were impressed about the thought and the fact that he cared so much. He asked you to sit down and then served a plate that was beautiful; it looked like it had been taken straight from a restaurant. You complimented the chef and waited that he sat down as well.

The food was delicious, it had just the right amount of spices, not too hot and not too mild. It was perfect. Tom asked you if you liked it and then looked very relieved when you told him “yes”. You discussed about general things and you asked how the lecture on Thursday had gone. He told you that everyone missed you at the school which made you scoff silently.  
\- What is it? he asked.  
\- I know you’re being polite but seriously… no one missed me there. Or maybe some people did, because they had to find some other source of amusement, how unfortunate for them. you mumbled. It was clear that you were tired of the situation emotionally.  
\- So that’s it. he commented. It all made sense now; the way you were like two completely different persons in and out of school premises.   
\- I’m sorry… Uhm… you mentioned that you have an interview tonight… With…   
\- Graham Norton…  
\- Yeah, the talk show… That sounds interesting…  
And you had successfully changed the subject. What was happening at your class was just too embarrassing to talk about and you did not want to seem like a whiny little girl who was seeking for pity or attention. After the lunch Tom washed the dishes and you sat for a moment on the sofa and had a conversation until he checked the time and sighed. He had to get going.  
\- Are you sure you will be alright? Is there anyone you could call to come and look after you?  
You smiled and shook your head.  
\- I could call someone…  
\- It’s okay. I will just watch a movie and get some sleep anyway. Seriously! Go! you laughed. He got up, walked to the entrance hall and put on his shoes and jacket.  
\- Are you sure? he asked.  
\- Yes! Have fun!  
\- I would rather stay here and have fun with you.  
\- Shut up. you chuckled. He kissed your forehead and mumbled  
\- I will call you tomorrow morning.

It felt funny to be alone, it was strange how quickly you had gotten used to having someone around, someone to talk to. You walked to the fridge and burst into laughter when you saw it completely full. Nope, you were not going to starve. You checked the freezer and noticed a packet of ice cream there. “Oh Tom” you thought and cut a big slice for you before putting the rest back to the fridge. Then you picked a comedy and made a fortress for yourself on the sofa. The house was slightly chilly in the winter but as long as you had your blanket and wool socks you were good.  
You fell asleep at some point and woke up at 4 AM. Then you went to bed and continued sleeping there. You slept late, it was Sunday after all. Around 3 PM you jumped awake when your phone was ringing.  
\- Uhm-yeah? you answered with a husky voice.  
\- Hi! Everything alright? I’ve tried to call you almost 10 times…  
\- Oh… Sorry, I’ve been sleeping. What the time is it?  
\- Three.  
\- Wow… right. How was the interview?  
You talked on the phone for 10 minutes and then finished the call. Tom had a busy evening ahead and it was sad to tell you that was unable to come and see you and he could not skip any lectures anymore. You told him that it was fine and you would probably join the course on Tuesday. “Do not worry so much! I am not dying, you know?” you had said to which he replied “you’d better not!”


	7. Sorting out some misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still you cannot remember the specifics of the accident.

It was Tuesday morning. You were getting ready for the school. You took a bus because you really were not able to ride a bike, besides the snow had not completely melted yet although the temperatures were rising above 0 C’s. You stopped to stare at the intersection for a moment and hoped to remember something, anything, but no. Your brain refused to give you the bits and pieces that you wanted, no, needed to finish the puzzle. It bothered you because you had a feeling that there was something more…  
\- Hey! a girl greeted you. She was on your class, one of those people who had been laughing at you. You looked at her with a confused look on your face, but you shook it off and smiled instead.  
\- Hi.  
\- So… you’re… well and all?  
\- Give or take a few… bruises.  
\- It was a nasty accident… she slipped out.  
\- You saw it?  
She hesitated, yes she had been there and she had been the one who had suggested her boyfriend to throw the apple at you.  
\- Don’t you remember? she asked.  
\- I do not have the whole picture… Just up to the point where I was waiting for the light to turn green.  
\- And?  
\- And… nothing.  
\- Would you like to remember then? she asked.  
\- I don’t know. Maybe, although it would not change anything. you said and turned. The girl walked to the university with you. She was taking the Shakespeare –course too.  
\- So… our teacher was missing for a couple of days. Did you have something to do with it? she asked.  
\- Tom? I mean Mr. Hiddleston.  
\- Oh… you are in the first-name-basis with him. she chuckled but this time her laughter was not meant to insult you.  
\- Yeah… although, in a strictly friendly way.  
\- Yeah right! You should had seen him on Thursday! Or yesterday… His mind was wondering somewhere and he was checking his phone like all the time. If I was paying for this class, I would demand for refund. she joked. You laughed. You two were slightly late from the class due to the stop at the intersection. You had completely lost your track of time while staring at the scene.

\- Sorry we’re late. the girl said as you entered the hall with her. Tom was happy to see you and let it slide. You mainly sat on the floor and watched other people acting some selected scenes from Shakespeare’s plays. Tom always explained the deeper meanings and ideas behind the dialogue. After the lecture he joined you for a lunch but he was surprised to find you sitting with some course-mates and not alone. He came to sit in the same table but he was slightly jealous for having to share your attention. This happened the rest of the week and during the evenings he was busy, so were you as you tried to catch up with the other missed classes. Luckily your course-mates had taken copies of the notes for you.  
During the Friday lunch, after your “new friends” had left the table leaving you alone with Tom , he asked  
\- You seem to be inside your own head today, what’s going on?   
It was true, you had been quite silent and absent-minded during the last lecture and now during the lunch.  
\- I am just sad that I missed practically half of the course. I will not pass it… and I need the credits.  
\- What? You mean the Shakes-  
\- Yeah… Are there any home assignments I could do to pass?  
\- What are you talking about? You’re not going to fail, I would not…  
\- You do not understand; this is school… it has nothing to do with my friendship with you, or it shouldn’t. Those are two separate things.  
\- Well I’d love to give you some private lectures… if that’s what you want… he said and winked his eye at you.  
\- You’re making fun of me. I am being seriously concerned about my studies. I do not need this right now. you stated and left the table. You had tried to be somewhat professional about the whole thing but he had not taken the situation seriously. He was the teacher and you were the student who was going to fail the course, the once-in-the-lifetime –kind of course. Great! Just… splendid. In the evening he called and suggested that he would bribe you with dinner tomorrow. You had a long discussion about passing the course and the reasons why it was so important to you.

On Saturday Tom came for a visit. He brought takeaway dinner with him as a sign of truce. When you had finished it you asked  
\- Hey, what was the thing… You asked me to call you.  
\- When?  
\- Before the accident… I remember you sounded… concerned.  
\- Oh, it’s nothing. You should now focus on getting better, love. Do not stress your head with…  
\- Oh come on! I am not that injured. It’s not like I had lost my head or something… is it?  
\- Well… uhm… no…  
\- So?  
\- I was just… going to ask you out.  
\- Wait… Yesterday we had a discussion about private tutoring, yeah… So… just be honest with me… Did you know already back then that I was going to fail? I knew that my essays were not great but I did not think that they were that… bad.  
\- No-no-no-what? I was going to ask you out… on a date.  
\- Oh!  
\- Yeah… but I think you should be now focusing on getting better and not on some stupid… dating… things. Besides I want to take you dancing and be able to embrace you without a fear of hurting you…  
\- Oh… alright. you answered. That was the only answer you were able to muster because you were practically rendered speechless.  
\- That really cannot come as a surprise, can it? he asked.  
\- Especially now… he said and you looked puzzled.  
\- Now that we have been spending quite a lot time in each others company. he explained.  
\- It did, actually…  
\- Really? After all that flirting… calling you “love”… pairing up with you to read a dialogue about first kiss and then actually kiss you.  
\- Right… Now that you point it out…   
\- Now? Now that I point it out?  
\- Well yeah, sure I found it pretty… unusual… at the time… but I just thought that you were just being friendly.  
\- Right… well… it is good that we cleared it now, although you do not seem too interested…  
\- No… I mean… yes… I mean… I am… I am just slightly… uhm…   
\- Surprised.  
\- Yes. But in a good way… In a very good… way. Uhm… ha-ha… wow.  
\- Yeah. Wow. But I think it would be the wise thing to do to wait until you’re fully healed… Because that’s where you should focus on… and I have to leave London for few months.  
\- Sounds… smart.   
\- Please do not think that I am skipping town… I mean this had been scheduled last year already…  
\- Yeah, of course… Didn’t even cross my mind…  
\- But I am coming back. It is the begin of February now… I will be here by the end of May… And if you are still available… I would like to take you on a date. Dancing, movie… dinner… Anything.   
\- Yeah, sure…  
\- In theory it is the third date already…  
\- It is?  
\- Yeah… But… let’s agree that it will be our first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 6 and 7 have been dedicated to Melissa. Thank you for the comment. I will definitely come up with some kind of drama about the apple :D
> 
> -Venla :)


	8. Hardest part is to let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying goodbyes is always more or less sad :/

He told you that he was leaving on Friday but he had a strict schedule for the remaining days. He had to still give grades for the course, attend an UNICEF event, give few interviews and wash his clothes and on top of that he wanted to visit his parents before leaving again. He had planned to take the summer off so then he would finally have time to get to know you better. You however had no plans for the summer so you were open to any suggestions. You knew that you probably should apply for a summer job but on the other hand, it had been years since you had actually spent the summer without restrictions and obligations. You wanted to study the spring very hard so then you would feel that you had earned the long holiday.

During the last week you and Tom saw each other once. Tom had cleared one evening just for you and you had decided to visit that fish and chips-place, which was just as good as he had said. You shared a very lively conversation which lasted so late that the owner of the restaurant had to tell you to leave. You moved to a pub and suddenly it was midnight and unfortunately it was time to go home. Neither of you had mentioned the fact that this was the last time you were going to see each other for a long time… or not so long, as you tried to convince yourself. 4 months wasn’t a long time, but considering that you had just met and knowing just how easily new friendships withered away during breakups… or pauses… it just freaked you up slightly and you rather avoided the whole subject.

You also knew that LA and Hollywood were full of gorgeous women who shared his profession and knew the ups and downs of being famous. You were afraid that he would notice how much more in common he had with those women than you and maybe after 4 months it would not be you who’s no longer available but him. Sure there were Skype and other means of keeping in touch but there was also the time difference and you knew that his schedule was just as busy as yours.  
It was Friday morning, the day when Tom was leaving. He had asked you to escort him to the airport and now you were there watching him making sure that he had his passport, printed ticket, phone, wallet and other important things. He had already gotten rid of the luggage and was left with a small bag that he took in the cabin. He was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, the traditional movie-star-hiding-gear. He glanced through the screens and found his gate. Then he turned to look at you.

\- So… you have everything? you asked.  
\- Yeah…  
\- When does the boarding begin?  
\- In an hour.  
\- Flying in the first class?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Do-you… Do you have like-a-uhm… separate security check-in?  
\- Yep.  
\- Cool. you commented. You tried to keep talking and asking casual questions just to fool him and yourself to believe that saying goodbyes was no big deal.  
\- Well… I think you should go otherwise you’ll miss your plane.  
\- I would rather miss it. he answered and stared straight into your eyes. He looked heartbroken and he was clearly trying to keep his emotions in check.  
\- Don’t say that. Please. you mumbled and looked away. Your mask was cracking although you did your best to keep yourself under control. It however was getting harder by every second. There was a steady stream of boarding announcements echoing in the vast space which kept reminding you about your whereabouts and the situation you were in.  
\- But it is true. If I had known-  
\- Four months is nothing. Besides I will be too busy with my studies that I will not even have time to miss you. you tried to joke. You both had thought that this would had been easier to do as friends but it was still bloody painful and as the minutes slipped away from you, it started to show on his face as well as on yours.  
-I should…  
\- Yeah, you should… Send me a message when you are there, so I’ll know that you have landed safely.  
He nodded and walked to the separate security check-in. He took off his belt and jacket, emptied his pockets on a tray and proceeded further. Your mind was screaming “I’ll miss you-I’ll miss you-I’ll miss you” on repeat and then you took a few strides and shouted  
\- Tom!  
He turned and looked at you and all you could say was...

\- Have fun!


	9. Night is always the darkest before the dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time goes on but things are not getting any better.

“Have fun! Right… Seriously? Have fun?” you thought on your way to the university. The life continued as it had before. The only difference was that no one laughed at you anymore, the old ways had died all too suddenly, except your ways. You still sought solitude but as weeks passed, you noticed that bullying had actually stopped and you dared to get friendly with your class-mates. They seemed very curious about your life with one arm, you reasoned that it was due to the fact that the tasks you would had normally been able to perform easily, now required an insane amount of effort and help from others, for example carrying a tray in the cafeteria by yourself.

It was almost the end of March. You had been having the plaster cast for 2 months already but your arm was still healing.  
\- Shouldn’t you get rid of it soon?  
\- I should had gotten rid of it a few weeks ago already but apparently I have not been resting as much as I should had. Yeah, sure I have been bumping into furniture and a couple of times slept on it by accident, so I guess I deserve every bit of delay there is. I am just so… tired of being handicapped like this, even the simplest things like taking a shower is a pain in the ass… I’m sorry… it’s not your fault.  
\- Do you remember the accident?  
\- I’ve had… dreams… But I cannot tell the reality from my own imagination. I mean I am quite sure that there were no flying monkeys or atom bombs but I feel that something is off… but I cannot point it out, you know? And it, combined to everything, is making me insane. Like how can you not remember? How is that even possible?  
\- How is Tom? she asked. She wanted to change the subject because she started to feel guilty for 2 things; knowing the truth and keeping it from you deliberately and secondly being partially to blame for whole thing. She had never expected to actually regret some things that she had done, she had never thought that it would get so serious so suddenly and now that she had noticed that you were actually pretty ok, she was afraid of what would happen if you found out. You talked that something was off and how you could feel it, you talked about life sucking ass because the arm had not healed as quickly as it should had healed.  
\- Tom is… fine. Busy, haven’t been talking with him since the end of February.  
\- It is the time difference, you know.  
\- Yeah…  
\- Have you been following any entertainment news?  
\- No…  
\- Oh? Maybe that’s good… she commented or more likely mumbled to herself.  
\- What do you mean? you asked.  
\- They are loads of crap anyway. she said, took your tray and left the lunch table.

You were confused but you had decided not to believe anything what the yellow press wrote; they were hunting for clicks and seeking for gossips and scandals. But then the next morning it greeted you at the first newspaper-stand; Tom Hiddleston seen with a curvy brunette having a private dinner and a person, who wishes to stay anonymous, from the “inner circle” had confirmed that there was someone in the actors life.  
You broke your own rule and read the paper as you waited at the hospitals lobby for your appointment; the cast was finally coming off. You read the article through. There were a few pictures and many speculations. The woman in the pictures was no well-known actor but she was absolutely gorgeous.  
You scolded yourself for letting your peace of mind being disturbed for so little. There were pictures but they proved nothing. Tom was allowed to have friends and it was perfectly fine to go and have dinner with them. He owed you nothing, you owed him nothing, life went on… Maybe he had gone on as well.

\- (Y/N)! the doctor called you. You were deep in your thoughts and recoiled only when she called your name the third time. You folded the tabloid and put it on the table after standing up. The doctor gestured you to follow her. She led you to the operation room. She motioned you to sit down and then she sat down herself on the other side of the table. After glancing through your papers she asked you the basic questions “how are you, has there been any pain, have you remembered to keep your fingers moving?”  
You told her that there was no pain and you had been using a stress-ball to keep your arm-muscles that moved your fingers, in motion as well as your wrist after it had healed. She asked if you remembered anything about the accident and if there had been nightmares. You told her that you had had dreams about the accident but it was still impossible for you to tell which parts were real and which parts were only imagined. She stated that it was also likely that you would never remember all the details and it was perfectly normal. You nodded although you did not like the idea at all. You were almost obsessed with it and almost every day you stopped to stare at the intersection.  
Then finally the plaster cast came off. However your hand felt so weak because you had not been able to use it properly for 2 months. Your ribs had been alright for a month already, but then again, they had been only fractured anyway. You had sent Tom a message yesterday and told him that your arm was finally alright and it was being freed tomorrow. He had answered after a few hours “That’s amazing!”

Not “that’s amazing, love!” but just “that’s amazing!”

During the weeks that followed there were only a few messages with Tom and all of them were very general in nature. He had been busy and it showed; his answers were very brief and they came with delay which was sometimes even a day. In the beginning the delay had been only an hour or sometimes even some minutes. The news about the curvy brunette kept pouring in; rumors and pictures, speculations and more pictures and many times you found yourself staring at yourself in the mirror and every time your makeup got smudged because you had started to cry after staring at your face for longer than a moment.  
The semester was almost over and there was going to be a party. You were sitting in the first row, waiting for the class to begin when the girl was calling you. You were completely focused on the book you were reading and did not hear your name when it was being called, they were laughing at your capability of getting so focused on something that you wouldn’t had heard if a bomb had exploded in the next classroom. The girl was going to invite you to the party too but since you did not hear her she asked her boyfriend to throw his motorcycle glove at your back to gain your attention.

The glove hit your back and you turned to watch. You heard them laughing and suddenly the time stopped. Your smile changed into a blank look as you finally remembered, your breathing turned into short gasps that echoed in your head and got mixed with other sounds. Your gaze dropped for a moment and then your eyes filled with tears. All the sounds faded out as you started to pack your things in a state of panic. The girl said “shit” and tried to say that they were sorry and they had no idea that the car was not going to stop. You could not hear any of it. You got your things, hit a few chairs on your way out and then almost bumped into the teacher on your way out from the room.  
You walked the long corridor like you had been in a haze. You played the memory over and over in your head; you were waiting for the lights to turn green, they turned green, you hopped on the bike, you entered the zebra crossing, something hit your back, you turned your head to look and you saw them, laughing at you. Then the loud screech, you turned your head just in time to see the car approaching, then it hurt. You felt your head hurting.  
You ran into the toilet and removed the hair that you nowadays always brushed to cover the scar you had on your forehead, in the right corner. You had gotten it from the windshield when you had hit it, the bruise that you had gotten on the left side of your forehead when you had hit the asphalt, had healed and left no scars. You were happy about it because that bruise had been quite large. The one on the right side had been small in size but deep because you had gotten a piece of glass from the windshield.  
You did not remember the actual hit because it had happened too fast, you only felt the pain that had followed and then… nothing. The next thing you had remembered had been the bright lights at the hospital. You had hit your head so badly that you had been unconscious a little over 24 hours but still been lucky enough not to hit your head so badly to cause any serious damage.  
With shaky hand you found painkiller from the bottom of your bag and washed it down with water. You left the campus and went home. When you got home, you turned off your phone and closed the curtains. You went to bedroom and sat on the bed. You had been getting over the accident pretty well after the plaster cast had come off because it had been a constant reminder and you had actually even started to accept the fact that you were not going to remember.

Now you did. Now you saw the whole picture with all the missing puzzle pieces and you wished that you had not found out because now you knew that the only reason why the bullying had ended had been out of guilt, yet no one had told you. They should had told you. They should had given you the chance to forgive and forget but they had looked you into the eye every day these past 3,5 months without saying anything.  
You fetched your laptop and started to type a letter of resignation. Would you really drop off the school for that? It was madness but then again, how could you return to there and look at them into the eye. You wanted to call Tom and tell him everything but he felt so distant now so you kept your phone turned off.  
The next week you skipped all the classes. It was the end of May and you had not had your phone on for a week. Then you finally turned your phone on. There were many text messages from various people; the teachers asking first what was going on and then letting you know that you had missed the exams and therefore could not get grades. There was a message from the girl saying that they were sorry and did not know how to tell you, it was easier not to.  
There were a few messages from Tom too. He was asking how you were and then asking if something was wrong. And the last message where he wrote “fine, I am returning on Saturday morning. I believe you have my shirt at your apartment. Can you bring it to me in the evening?” You replied that you found the shirt and washed it. You also promised to bring it at 7 PM on Saturday which was actually the day after tomorrow.

You searched the shirt and hugged it briefly. He had been cooking chicken wok at your place and it had gotten some coconut milk on it. You had promised to wash it but you had not had time to return it. It was Thursday evening and on Friday you visited the university. You saw the girl and nodded at her as an acceptance. You were not nearly alright with the thing but you figured that maybe the most humane thing to do was to give some kind of absolution now that the semester was over anyway.  
You had a long discussion about your studies with the counselor and worked on a schedule for the autumn semester when you could catch up and take the exams. The counselor handed you a diploma for the Shakespeare –course that had been signed by the lecturer himself. Tom had been busy and managed to send those just a week ago but you had not been in the class when they had been handed to the other participants. You thanked the counselor and left.

The following night you spent rolling in your bed. You were nervous to see Tom again, you were nervous because you had no idea where you stood. All you knew was that he wanted you to return his shirt and that was it. It was morning and you had not slept at all. You were debating with yourself whether you should go and get him a gift to welcome him back or not. You decided to get him something small, just enough to show him that you had been thinking about him but not enough to make him spooked about the amount of hours spent thinking about him.  
You bought him a bottle of wine and a cactus. You figured that if he was rarely home, then a cactus would survive… or something. You just found a cute cactus and thought that it would be… cute. Besides you were running out of time soon; you had to go home, take a shower and try to transform yourself into a lady.  
Like that was even possible. You kept comparing yourself to the curvy brunette that everyone was talking about in the media. You were ready around 5 PM and the last remaining hour you just sat by the table and stared at the clock. You had to leave your apartment at 6 to get there by 7. You did not want to get late.

You packed the shirt, the wine and the cactus into your bag, checked that you had everything from your wallet to your keys and then left the apartment. It was almost 7 PM when you reached Toms apartment building. You had never visited his home but you had been standing on the street once. You got into the stairway when someone got out. You remembered that he had talked about living in the top floor so you took the elevator up. You stepped out and then sent him a text saying that you were in the corridor. There were no names in the doors, only apartment numbers.  
A door opened in the end of the hallway. You walked nervously there and shouted “hello” from the door before entering the apartment. You closed the door and stood in the entrance hall. The apartment was lit with candles and there was soft lounge music playing on the background. You heard Tom speaking with someone. Footsteps… high heels, definitely high heels. The brunette was there. She walked to you and greeted you.  
\- I just came to bring the shirt… I washed it, but maybe he wants to wash it again because my washing liquid is tropical flowers -scented… He most likely does not want to smell of tropical flowers… Anyway… I can see that you’re busy… you mumbled.  
\- You must be (Y/N). Mr. Hiddleston has talked very much about you. I can take the shirt…  
\- Sure. you said, handed the shirt to her and were about to leave.  
\- Can you also give him these. you said and took the bottle as well as the wrapped flower out from your bag.  
\- Of course. she said and took them. She put them on the table.  
\- Okay. I think I’ll just… leave. you said. At that moment Tom walked to the entrance hall and said  
\- That would be all. Thanks, bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving the story like this :D (for now because I need to go to sleep).


	10. From the first look to the first...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff... finally :D

The brunette opened the door.  
\- Oh, alright… you mumbled and turned as a sign of leaving.  
\- (Y/N), where do you think you’re going? he asked. You froze still. The brunette walked out from the apartment, said “have a wonderful evening, Mr. Hiddleston, (Y/N)” and nodded at you with a polite smile on her face before closing the door.  
\- I brought your shirt… you answered hesitantly.  
\- You might want to wash it ag-  
\- Screw the shirt. I had to get you here somehow, without ruining the surprise. he said and took your hand. He led you further into the apartment. It was very modest but very cozy and it reflected his personality perfectly; he did not need flashy things to boost his ego, on the contrary he was happy about simple things. The apartment was great but it was not a man cave with shiny, sterile surfaces and fancy gadgets.

\- Is your arm alright?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Ribs?  
\- Uhuh.  
\- So you’re saying basically that it is safe for me to slam you against the wall and… he mumbled, pushed you against a closed door and leaned closer.  
\- Slam-eh? you whispered and smiled shyly. You bit your lip unintentionally which made Tom to shift his intensive stare from your eyes to your lips. He placed his hand softly on your neck and caressed it just lightly brushing the skin with his fingertips almost in a way that he would had been afraid that you might break. The last time he had seen you, you had been nowhere near recovered.  
\- Did you know that I’ve been dreaming about this since I talked with you after the first lecture? he asked with soft tone. You were mesmerized and could not answer as your eyes searched for any sign of dishonesty in his eyes. However there was none. His touch made you shiver a little. He moved to your jaw and continued towards your forehead. He brushed your hair gently which revealed the scar that you tried to hid. He traced it with his fingers as lightly as a feather. You turned your head away as a reaction, you felt so helpless and exposed there between him and the closed door, there was nowhere to hide and it scared you. Tom placed his hand under your chin and gently guided you to look at him once more.  
\- Don’t worry, guys like scars. he assured with a flirty tone and winked his eye. You couldn’t help but to burst into laughter and press your forehead against his shoulder. Tom wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly. You slid your hands behind his back and enjoyed having him back. After holding you close for many minutes he drew back and smiled.  
\- I really need to kiss you now.

His words echoed in your head as you waited him to make a move. There was no hurry because he knew that nothing would take you away from him now. He had imagined this moment so many times when he had been laying alone in “his” bed or while staring mindlessly into the traffic as he was changing the location between the shooting of the scenes in the movie. He had wanted to tell you just how much he was missing you but he had figured that it would not make the separation any easier to endure so he had filled his schedule as well as his mind with work. It had gotten easier as the weeks turned into months but it had never been easy.  
He put his hands on your cheeks and stared deep into your eyes before finally closing his and leaning closer. When he did, he stopped just before his lips were going to touch yours. You had also closed your eyes, held your hands against his chest and played with the collar of his cardigan. When you pressed your hand on his heart, you felt it beating very fast which made your heart to skip a beat or two. He was so close now. You were breathing with short, shallow, silent breaths and focusing on how everything felt; his warm breath on your lips, gentle hands cupping your face and the smooth fabric of his shirt under your fingers.  
Finally his lips brushed yours, just barely at first, not really granting either one of you your dreams to be fulfilled. When his lips touched yours, you could not think about anything else. It was the same when you were having a conversation with him; you were completely hooked and absorbing every ray of light and warmth that you could. He was your sun after all and the life had been so very dark and cold without him.

He brushed your lips again, just to make sure that you were there. He had been afraid of losing you and there had been times when he had been sure that when he would return to London, he would find out that someone else had swept you off your feet before he had even a chance to do so. But now he was certain that this was where you wanted to be, this was what you wanted to be; completely his like he wanted to be completely yours. From the first look to the first touch, from the first conversation to the first kiss…  
He pressed his lips against yours gently. At first he did not move and you did not either. The first kiss was soft and modest… and over too soon. When he pulled his lips away you sighed desperately and as if he had read your thoughts he kissed you again but this time his lips explored and caressed yours with hunger, or deep longing. He slid his hand behind your head and sank his fingers into your hair as his other hand moved from your jaw behind your back and pulled you closer. Your fingers tangled tightly in his collar and then moved to his shoulders. The kiss continued for longer than you had ever dared to dream. It changed from demanding and desperate into hungry and passionate and subsided into caring and sweet in the end.  
When he released your lips you were gasping for air and sure that your feet were about to give in any moment.

\- I meant to say “I’ll miss you”…  
\- What? he whispered, his lips still brushing yours as he talked, just as your lips had touched his when you had talked.  
\- At the airport. I said “have fun” when I really wanted to confess that I will miss you. I was just afraid that if I’ll say it aloud, if I’ll admit it…  
\- Shush… he whispered and smiled against your lips. He brushed your hair and pressed one soft kiss on your lips.  
\- There were so many things that I wanted to say to you, but I thought that it would be easier if I did not say them, almost like pretending that they wouldn’t exist, and I was hoping that without voicing them and giving them the attention they were demanding for… they would just disappear. you finished and sighed.  
\- Oh… Tom sighed and pulled you close. You pressed your cheek against his chest and listened his heart beating calmly as he stroked your hair and pressed his lips on your forehead.  
Suddenly a timer went off.  
\- That, love, is the dinner. he mumbled and reluctantly released you from his embrace.


	11. No casual reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom asks you why you did not answer his messages... and in the end, you cannot hide the reason.

-Dinner? you asked sharply. You had not been expecting anything so you were really surprised.  
\- Yes. I am very pleased that you had no idea… However I was rather surprised when you did not reply my messages.  
\- Well-uhm… It’s a rather long story…  
\- I have all night, love. In the matter of fact, I have all summer.  
His response made you chuckle. You did not know whether you should tell him or not what had been going on. If you told him some bits and pieces but left something in great significance out, the gruesome details that you had recently discovered, it could easily be considered as lying. On the other hand if you told everything from the beginning without avoiding the details… You honestly were not able to predict how he would take it. Sure, the whole thing at the university, the autumn semester, had nothing to do with Tom but… but you knew that Tom was such a kind person and he clearly cared for you very deeply…

\- I was thinking… he began and took the food out from the oven. When he opened the oven hatch, a delicious smell filled the entire kitchen. He was making salmon with baked potatoes.  
\- What were you thinking? you asked as you leaned to the kitchen counter. You had asked him if you could help him to set the table, prepare a salad, but he had everything under control. He had actually perfected everything up to the point that it only thing missing was the stuff in the oven.  
\- I was thinking that we should escape.  
\- Escape? you chuckled.  
\- For few weeks… no, a month or two. What do you think?  
\- That sounds…  
\- I know it must come quite out of the blue…  
\- Out of the blue as in “ocean-blue”… “sky-blue”… both?  
\- …all of a sudden… but let’s rent an island.  
\- Where?  
\- Anywhere! Asia, Mediterranean, Caribbean… We can even go to… Norway if you want!  
\- Are you pulling my leg…  
\- No… Just you and me. The sound of waves… dancing in the sunset and then watching the stars fading away into the sunrise. he painted the scenery with his words. His eyes were practically shining and then suddenly he put his hands on your cheeks and begged you to say “yes” with his eyes. He was breathing quite heavily as he waited you to say something.  
\- That sounds wonderful.  
\- So… May I start making reservations?  
You hesitated and he noticed it. You liked the plan, you really did. Hell, you loved it, but your financial situation did not really support luxurious holidays in the far-away-corner of the world.  
\- What’s wrong? he asked and tried to find answers from your eyes.  
\- I am a student… I… really cannot afford renting an island… A week or two in Turkey I can do with a very tight budget, but anything beyond that is…  
\- Love. Do not worry about money.  
\- But…  
\- Fine, I will kidnap you then. That’s settled. Now, let’s eat. he said and pressed a kiss on your lips.

The dinner was very delicious, not that you had doubted, because you had not. You were practically convinced that he could do anything and not just do anything but do anything well. You kept asking him about his spring and listened to the stories eagerly. Then happened what you had hoped that would not happen; he returned to the subject  
\- Why did you not answer my messages?  
The smile on your face died instantly, but only for a moment, then you faked a smile and tried to shrug your shoulders as “no big deal”.  
\- Come on, I can read you better than that. Did I do something to upset you? You did not believe any of that what the tabloids wrote, did you? Because none of it was true, or… it was true that there is a special someone in my life, but the way they twisted and turned it… and the pictures… The special someone that everyone were referring to was you! You believe me, right?  
\- Yeah, of course. I did not even read... those… or I did once… but that’s it.  
\- So what was it?  
\- I… you began and inhaled deeply. “This is it, now or never” you thought and exhaled before answering him.  
\- Well? he asked, he clearly was desperate to know because he had been having some pretty wild theories of his own when you had not replied his messages.  
\- I did not get them. you said. It was the truth, wasn’t it? Tom looked at you with a confused look on his face. He was not satisfied with your answer.  
\- What do you mean you did not get them? I am completely sure that…  
\- I had my phone turned off for a week, actually turned it back on Thursday evening. You see… I had a minor nervous breakdown. I skipped the last school week, missed the exams, will not be getting the grades for some courses now… you said almost casually. Tom had a piece of potato in his mouth and he suddenly stopped chewing.  
\- Yep. you commented.  
  
\- What happened? he asked although it was more like an exclamation.  
\- Well…  
\- Does it have something to do with the accident? Oh my gosh, love, are you alright?  
\- Define “alright” first… Uhm… Why is this so bloody hard? I… I-uhm… The thing is… You know…  
\- No I really don’t.  
\- Do you rememb-… I wasn’t… It always bothered me that I did not remember the accident, right?  
\- Yes…?  
\- Well, the thing is that… suddenly I did. I was waiting for a lecture to begin… and then suddenly… Uhm… Let me put it this way… You remember me saying that I did not fit in?  
\- Yes.  
\- And… At some point during last autumn things were so bad that I actually was thinking about dropping out. There were some individuals in my class that did not like me too much for some reason and they pretty much got the entire class… Well, let’s just say that no one did or said anything to stop it. I did at first, until I didn’t anymore.  
\- I see… he said and sounded slightly confused.  
\- The point being that… you said and tried to think how to say it without discriminating or mocking anyone or sounding like you were trying to make him feel sorry for you or get his attention.  
\- Did someone hit you on purpose?  
\- No-no-no… Gosh-no! But there was some distraction provided by some people that might had prevented me from seeing the car in time… But there is no knowing if I had been able to see the car and stop in time without…  
\- What did they do? he said with a serious tone, you had never heard him that serious.  
\- It does not mat-  
\- You could had died! I could had lost you! Of course it matters!  
\- Fine! Someone threw something at my back and I turned to look. The next thing was that I heard the car hitting the breaks but it was too late so…  
\- Who was it?  
\- Just some…  
\- At the Shakespeare –course?  
\- I am not going to say.  
  
Tom leaned back in his chair and stared at the table for a moment.  
\- The girl, wasn’t it? She was mocking you at the course but then after the accident she suddenly…  
\- It does not matter… It has nothing to do with you. I have already scheduled the missed exams for autumn…  
\- I asked them if they knew where you were! She said “no”. She lied to me, straight to my face even when she could see how worried I was. I could had been there for you in the hospital earlier! Much earlier! I could had held your hand, I could had supported you... But I was unable to do any of those things because she lied to me. It makes all the difference, can't you see?  
\- Come on… It’s not that bad.  
\- Not… bad? Why are you defending them?  
\- I am not…  
\- Have you forgiven them this easily?  
\- I don’t know! But holding onto a grudge will not change anything. The only thing I can have some kind of influence on is how I relate myself with it; will I let it define me and kick me to the ground or will I accept it and get on with my life.  
\- Why are you so casual about it? he asked. His tone was both angry and confused, but there was an undertone of warmth and deep affection under them. He was not angry at you, but them and he thought that it was wrong that you just had to accept… everything.  
\- I am not! Nervous breakdown, remember? Last weekend and this week I have been just crying in my bed and thinking about how I had no idea, all that time, entire spring. I had told them many times how it bothered me that I could not remember anything from the accident and they knew… and they decided to keep it from me. But no… no one caused the accident on purpose, no one wanted it to happen… It just did, as a sum of many things. There is no knowing for sure if the whole distraction-thing had any influence to begin with.  
\- Yes, possibly it did… most likely it did…  
\- You don’t know that.  
\- I beg to differ with you on this one. They could had taken you away from me!  
\- I know what they did was wrong, but I am tired of thinking about it. The whole spring there were only two thoughts in my head; the accident and how I was missing you… So please… Can we just…  
Tom stood up and walked on your side of the table. He gave you his hand and then pulled you to stand up. Then he wrapped his arms around you and whispered that he was glad that you had told him… and he was totally going to kidnap you and take you far away from London. He would not tolerate any objections and you would have to accept every bit of pampering without disagreements. You chuckled and as your negations were not leading really anywhere, you finally answered “agreed”.


	12. Flirting and laughing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the rest of the evening... and morning after.  
> (no smut, just fluff)

After finishing the dinner you helped Tom to collect the dishes to the kitchen sink and watched him putting everything into the fridge. The atmosphere was very relaxed and you were surprised just how natural the setting felt. Even the fact that you barely knew him and it had been 4 months that you had even seen him did not bother you or make you feel uneasy. You found yourself smiling just without any reason that you could had pointed out. Tom got everything ready and turned to look at you.  
You were deep in your thoughts but the smile never left your face. He tried to figure out what you were smiling and thinking about. He could had asked but he did not want to break the moment. He liked your smile very much, almost as if suddenly it had become the most important and precious thing in his life; to see you smile, to make you smile. Then he could not help himself anymore.  
\- (Y/N)… he called your name a couple of times. Then you recoiled and shifted your eyes on him.  
\- Huh?  
\- I am done here. Shall we go to the living room?  
\- Sure. you said and took your wineglass with you. Tom had filled it as well as his glass and you followed him to the sofa.  
\- So… where you were? he asked.  
\- When?  
\- Just now. You were deep in your thoughts with a smile on your face…  
\- Oh… Yeah I guess I was. you chuckled with a blush. You were sitting on the sofa next to Tom but you had sat down in a way that you could actually face him while sitting next to him. You had lifted your bent legs on the sofa, rested your elbow on the back of it and leaned your head to your hand. You kept looking deep into his eyes and smiling as you listened to him talking. Sometimes you casually brushed your hair, played with your necklace or ran your finger on your lips but none of these you did on purpose. He sometimes ran his fingers on your leg, up and down under your knee.  
Suddenly he leaned closer and kissed you. You subtle unintentional flirting had worked and he was under your spell. There was no way he could had resisted you, neither did he want to. His lips danced with yours as they fitted together perfectly. You caressed his neck and occasionally ran your fingers through his hair. His other hand rubbed your arm and the other found your hand and then crossed his fingers with yours. Your fingers almost like danced together as they searched new ways to hold each other.

Then he yawned. You chuckled and smiled against his mouth.  
\- You must be jetlagged. you mumbled and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.  
\- Sorry, love. I did not sleep on the airplane. I am quite tired.  
\- No need to be sorry. you said and drew back.  
\- It is getting late anyway. I should head home. you stated, stood up and walked to the entrance hall. You got ready for leaving. Tom took his keys and wallet.  
\- Uhm… Tom...? you asked and pointed at the door. You shook your head and said “no-no-no”.  
\- I will make sure that you’ll get home safel-  
\- It’s okay. You need sleep.  
\- Well let me at least get you a cab…  
\- I will just take a bus. It is no big deal.  
\- Right… I will walk you to the bus stop. That is the very minimum that I can do and I insist that you’ll let me.  
\- Alright.  
You walked side by side out to the street. Your hands almost brushed each other with every step and you could not help wanting to tangle your fingers with his again. You were both silent as you slowly approached the bus stop. Then suddenly Tom encouraged his mind and took your hand. Your heart was getting ready to burst from the over dosage of happiness. You reached the stop and you glanced through the timetable. The next bus was coming in 10 minutes, according to the bus schedule.  
\- I hope you enjoyed the evening. Tom said almost shyly.  
\- I had wonderful time. I am happy to have you back… you said and suddenly wondered if it had been too bold statement.  
\- …in London. you added. Tom laughed. He knew exactly what you meant.  
\- It is a pleasure to be back… he said and then added  
\- …in London.  
\- The city was not the same without you, you know.  
\- Well… I must admit that I was not the same without you. he commented and blushed.  
\- Me neither… I mean, obviously not without me because I have to tolerate my own company like all the time… Uhm-and now I am talking too much… What I meant to say was that… Just shut me up already, pl- you begged and with that you felt your mumbling muffled with his lips.  
When he parted his lips from yours, you wrapped your arms around your date and hugged him tightly. He returned to your hug with the same devotion and silently wished that the bus was cancelled or late at least. However his wish did not get granted, quite opposite actually, the bus was a couple of minutes early. He kissed you briefly goodnight and then sighed deeply as he had to let you go.

You waved as a goodbye when the bus drove away. Tom raised his hand and then walked home after the bus had disappeared from his sight. He got in and noticed a wine bottle and a wrapped –something on the small table that was in the entrance hall. He also noticed the shirt that you had returned. He smelled it and smiled; it had a sweet scent of tropical flowers but he would not wash it again because the scent reminded him of you. He opened the wrapping and revealed an adorable cactus. He laughed and then took a picture of those two gifts.  
Your phone beeped. You unlocked the screen and tapped the notification.  
“What are these?” the message asked and there was a picture included as an attachment.  
“Just a small welcome-home-thing.” you replied.  
“Thank you so much! Did you get home safely?” he asked.  
“Still in the process of getting there. You looked very tired, go to sleep!”  
“I will, but I am going to wait until you’re home. I want to be sure that you’ll get home safely.”  
“That’s very sweet of you, but it might take a while. I’m downtown waiting for the connecting bus to arrive but apparently there are some delays. But worry not, my sweet Tom :) “  
“I should had asked you to stay the night.” he stated. You got the message and stared at it until your phone beeped again.  
“I do have a guestroom.”  
You chuckled. You had not managed to reply anything when another message popped on the phone screen.  
“Too soon?”  
“Let’s take it slow. Goodnight dear Tom” you replied when you had sat down. In 10 minutes you were home. Usually it took about 15 minutes to get from the downtown area to your neighborhood but during nighttime there was less traffic and the bus did not have to spot at every stop. There was no reply after that. You still sent him a message saying that you had reached home safely.  
You took off your jacket and shoes, took a quick shower, brushed your teeth and changed into your pajama. Then you crawled into your bed and stared into the darkness. Your eyelids were getting heavier by every moment and soon you drifted away. 

You woke up when your phone started to ring. You had forgotten to put it on mute. You were half asleep when you answered it with a mumble that did not really have any recognizable words.  
\- Did I wake you up? Tom asked with a soft, husky voice. He was still in bed and had just woken up himself but he wanted to hear your voice.  
\- No… you mumbled.  
\- I think I did but I am not sure if I’m sorry for that.  
\- You’re mean. you chuckled and rolled on your back.  
\- Are you laying there comfortably? he asked.  
\- Yeah…  
\- Are you… thinking about me?  
\- Always… you mumbled. You were barely awake and did not have enough brain capacity to give him longer answers than maximum of 3 words in length.  
\- I am thinking about you…  
\- Uhuh?  
\- You must look so beautiful laying there, head against the soft pillows, breathing peacefully with your eyes closed and wearing a cute pajama. Messy hair, rosy cheeks… irresistible lips slightly parted as they are waiting for being kissed. Your skin… so warm and flawless bathing in the morning sun while you fall in and out of being awake. Sometimes the traffic sounds fade away as you slip back to sleep… Oh what a sight.  
You laughed wearily as a response. He had pictured your morning perfectly.  
\- Do not laugh. Now I imagine myself there. Do not open your eyes… Can you feel me there?  
\- Yeah…  
\- I ghost on your skin with my lips and fingers, barely touching. I worship every inch of your exposed skin, do not worry, I know where the limits are. Then I bury my face into your neck and kiss you under your ear until you’re fully awake and demand me to kiss your lips. he spoke slowly with sultry, deep voice and it was obvious that he had thoughtfully selected every word and wanted to express himself as gracefully as possible.  
A sudden boost of adrenaline woke you up completely. You stared at the ceiling and blinked a few times before being able to reply.  
\- Love, did you fall asleep? he asked with a normal tone and speed.  
\- Nope. I am awake.  
\- Good. Plans for today?  
\- Uhm… I don’t think so. Did you have something in mind?  
\- Yes. Meet me at St. James Park at three. I am taking you out for a picnic.  
\- Shouldn’t it rain today?  
\- What? No! he exclaimed although he knew that the weather forecast had promised regional showers for the afternoon.  
\- Very well, Sir Thomas. I will just conquer your sofa if I’ll get wet and catch the flu.  
\- Well that does not sound bad at all. Was it supposed to scare me?  
\- I suppose not.  
\- Although… I might enjoy getting you we-  
\- Oh stop it! you laughed and listened Tom laughing with you on the other end.  
\- I like your laughter. he said suddenly.  
\- Likewise. 

And then there was a silence. You listened to him breathing although you really couldn’t hear him, you liked to think that you did and it made you to feel a little closer to him somehow.  
\- Still there? he asked.  
\- Yeah… I was just listening.  
\- To what, love?  
\- Nothing… and everything.  
\- You are speaking with riddles. I wonder what I must do to figure you out…  
\- Maybe it has something to do with that getting… Oh… Hey, I think I need to hang up now.  
\- Oh, such a tease! I will have my vengeance… he said with slightly mischievous tone. You laughed again.  
\- Okay, I’ll see you later. you chuckled and just before you were hanging up he said  
\- (Y/N)?  
\- Uhm-yep?  
\- Take a toothbrush with you. I would very much like to realize my fantasy of waking you up.  
Then he hung up. You sat up, your head spinning and for longer than a minute you were unable to think about anything else than the phone call, his voice more specifically and all the subtle changes in his tone. You kept staring the phone screen although it had gone black already. Then you shook yourself brutally out of your thoughts and got up from bed. It was almost 11 AM already and you had to go to a shop to get something for the picnic. You did not want Tom to get everything, it would be just too unfair.

You visited the corner shop and bought apples, oranges, cherry tomatoes, crackers and cheese, cookies and a bottle of mild bubbly. You returned home, put everything into the fridge and searched a blanket that you had bought last autumn for nice reading/studying-sessions outside, however the autumn had been ridiculously rainy and you had been able to test the blanket only once. Before leaving you put just a minimal amount of waterproof mascara and some color to your eyebrows. You did not want to take a risk of getting a panda-face when or “if” it started to rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep dedicating chapters to Melissa because she keeps commenting :D I just want to make sure that you know that your comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> \- Venla :)


	13. From one shower to another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picnic turns into rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might get a little steamy... but still keeping it quite fluffy.  
> I dedicate this chapter to all of you who have left kudos :) much appreciated! You make my day! ^^

You got to the park. It was easy to reach and you got there effortlessly even though you had never been there before. The park was gorgeous and there were not many people, most likely because the sky was getting cloudy, murky even, but luckily there was no wind. It took some time for you to find Tom who had texted you that he was there already “under a big tree, by the river”. You had to call him in the end to be able to find him.  
When you finally spotted him, you stopped for a moment to admire him from afar. He waved at you because he was not sure if you had recognized him or not. You walked to him and he greeted you with open arms. He had put everything ready and you handed him the basket that you had prepared. He had gotten small sausages, baguette, feta-cheese pieces with herbs and olive oil and a couple of slices of a chocolate cake that he had prepared for the date but forgotten into the fridge.

\- You did not have to get all of this… he said when he checked out the content of the basket.  
\- Of course I did. Don’t be silly. you chuckled. Then you sat down with him and started to eat. The weather was getting a bit windy so it was better to eat quickly, just in case of the rain. After eating most of the picnic lunch you stayed in the park talking, joking and laughing. The sun came out for a moment and you lay down on the blanket to enjoy the warmth. You watched the clouds passing by and listened to the birds singing up in the trees all around. The park smelled of rain and fresh spring flowers and the wind danced in the leaves of the tree that bent over your picnic spot. Tom sat next to you and occasionally brushed hair off your face when there was a strong gush of wind that had already messed up with your hairdo. Seeing you fighting against it had amused him greatly, but his laughter was never offensive or evil. You closed your eyes and fell half asleep for a moment.

\- How did you sleep? he asked while he prepared a slice of baguette for himself. The sound of his voice brought you back. In a way you had heard everything and been awake the entire time, but still you had been there in the twilight zone between awareness and sleep.  
\- You mean now or last night?  
\- Last night, love.  
\- I fell asleep immediately when I got to bed and I slept without interruptions until you called me. And you?  
\- I fell asleep before you got home. I am so sorry. I was supposed to stay awake until you got home but I failed to do that.  
\- Maybe you’ll make it up to me… you answered and pursed up your lips. You had never been very skillful in the art of flirting but with Tom it was deviously easy, almost too easy because you were occasionally worried if you were giving a wrong idea of yourself. You were not “easy” and you did not want to appear as someone who jumped from bed to another. What you wanted was him, sure, but you wanted him to love, adore and respect you, the same as you wanted to love, adore and respect him.  
\- If you keep teasing me, I really don’t know if will be able to keep things slow.  
\- I am not sure if that’s what I want anymore.  
\- What do you want then?  
\- A slice of that cake would be nice.  
\- Good choice, love. he said and told you to stay down. It was very full and rich in flavor but the texture was surprisingly light. It did not taste too sweet but just the right amount. The base was made of crushed cookies, the middle part was foamy like whipped cream, but made solid with gelatin and on the top there was a sticky layer of chocolate. He told you to open your mouth and when you did, he put a small piece of the cake into your mouth. You laughed when he got some of the chocolate on the corner of it and managed to smear your lips with it.  
\- You’re making a mess! you chuckled.  
\- Oh I’m so sorry… he said with a mischievous tone. He gave you another piece.  
\- Don’t worry, love, I am more than willing to clean any bit of a mess I make. Like for example if you happened to get some chocolate on your neck… he said, dipped his finger in the chocolate topping and got down on his all fours.  
\- You would not dare…  
\- Be a nice girl and behave now… he purred and then smudged your neck with the chocolate. You squealed when he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and attacked your neck. You laughed and your body shook in his arms. “You taste of chocolate” he mumbled and when he was done with your neck, he pinned your arms against the blanket and leaned down to kiss your lips. However just when you thought that he was going to kiss you, he drew back and denied you the pleasure.

\- What do you want, love? More cake?  
\- You… you pleaded but he was not going to give you what you wanted, not just yet.  
\- What was that? he teased. You felt his warm breath on your lips but that was not enough.  
\- Kiss me.  
A first raindrop fell on your forehead and then all of a sudden the floodgates of the skies opened and it started to pour. Luckily it was warm summer rain but there was so much of it that the whole city was covered under a thick, heavy, gray drape.  
\- Let me cover you from the rain, love. he said and lowered himself onto you. You laughed. You opened your eyes and saw Tom staring at you with a smile on his face. His hair had already gotten soaked and the rain was dripping down on your face from his hair.  
\- Should had believed you… sorry. he mumbled.  
\- Don’t worry, girls like kissing in the rain.  
\- Do they?  
\- That is one of the biggest movie clichés that I’ve always wanted to try. you confessed.  
\- The same as… having my hands pinned against the mattress, wall, ground… when I’m being kissed… you continued.  
\- Well, isn’t this convenient. he mumbled and finally kissed you. He crossed his fingers with you and held your hands against the blanket. He kissed you slowly and intimately, sometimes just barely touching and sometimes locking your lips into a deep, devouring kiss that was making your knees weak. His body moved slightly against yours. His one leg was between yours and he did his best to support his own weight. You bent your leg and wrapped it around his thigh and moved the bare sole of your foot up and down on his leg that was covered with soaked pants. This pressed his hips against yours which granted you the warmth of his body now that his weight was partially on you. He pulled back panting. It was getting cold and it was better to head home, Toms home, that was. You gathered all the things and took a bus. 

You shivered all the way there and when you got to his place you immediately asked if you could take a warm shower. Tom got you a towel and a big T-shirt that you could wear after. You went into the bathroom and took off your clothes. You stared at your body that was already damp from the rain. There were Goosebumps on your chest and the hair in your arms was up.  
You rubbed your lips and continued staring at yourself in the mirror. You were trying to decide whether you should invite Tom to take a shower with you or not. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  
\- Is everything alright?  
You did not know what to answer. You wanted to be close to him but you did not know how far you were ready to go, just now.  
\- (Y/N)?  
Another knock.  
\- Yes, everything is alright. you said and put the shower running. You waited the water to turn warm and then stepped in. The water burned your cool skin at first but then as you warmed up it started to feel pleasant. Warm and soft, just as Toms hands would feel if you asked him to join you. You kept debating with yourself; the other part asked why were you so afraid, Tom had been nothing but gentle and thoughtful all this time, even during the time when you had been injured and upset. What would you have to lose? The other part was afraid of rejection. What if he did not want you? What if he moved to the next fangirl when he scored with you?  
Oh, you hated to be so self aware and to have so little self confidence all the time. You turned the shower off for a moment to gather your thoughts and make some sense out of them. Then you stepped out and walked to the door. You opened it only slightly and tried to calm your nerves. Your heart was trying to break out from your ribcage from inside as it was pounding mercilessly against it. Then with a shaky voice you shouted

\- Tom?  
Footsteps got nearer.  
\- Yes, love? Everything alright?  
\- I was just thinking that… you also need a shower… so…  
\- It’s no problem… There is plenty hot water, you can continue if you want.  
\- Right… Well… I’ll leave the door unlocked in case you want to join me. you said and closed the door. “Alright, the ball is in his corner now” you thought, turned off the light and took a couple of deep breaths before stepping back into the shower. You thought that if he joined you in the shower you would more likely be able to relax if he could not see you. A few minutes passed and you were both relieved and disappointed. Negative thoughts filled your mind as you processed the rejection, “he must have taken showers with such babes that-“  
The door opened and closed. The lights stayed off, you held your breath. Then you felt a palm on your shoulder, lips on your neck, kissing you tenderly from behind. You moved a little closer to the front wall so Tom had room to enjoy the warm water as well. His skin was still cool and made you shiver slightly because yours had already warmed up.  
You turned around to face him and pulled him against you. You rubbed his muscular back and pressed kisses on his chest. You moved your hands on his arms and rubbed them slowly up and down from shoulders all the way down to his wrists and fingers where you tangled yours with them. He caressed your cheeks and then lifted your chin upwards and guided you to kiss him. He wrapped his arm around you and with other hand stroked your hair, gently pulling occasionally. 

You felt his skin warming up and his hand reaching out for something in the darkness. He turned off the water and took a bottle of luxurious soap, the one kind which felt like silk on ones body when it started to foam. He poured a generous amount of it on his palm and then purred into your ear  
\- Turn.  
Your heart was racing as you turned to face away from him. You felt his breath on your neck just before you felt his hands on your shoulders. This time the touch was different. His hand slide on your skin smoothly and everything he touched became slick, almost like he had been pouring the finest oil on you and spread it patiently. He soaped your back, all the way to the lower back and then moved to your sides. He massaged your shoulders and then rubbed your arms up and down just like you had done a moment ago to him.  
\- Raise your arms, love. he said as he kissed your earlobe and nibbled it a couple of times. You followed his instructions as you held your breath. He added more of the soap on his palm and rubbed his hands together. Then he slid his hand on your stomach and slowly moved his hands up until he was just below your breasts. He waited for a moment and waited if you were going to object. When you did not he gently traced the shape of your curves with his fingertips and then massaged them just as gently. The contact was soft and made you shiver with need. He had to stop now or else you would not be able to.  
He felt your chest heave quite rapidly. He avoided deliberately the most sensitive areas and kept the caresses soft and gentle at all times. He returned to massage your shoulders and guided you to lower your arms. You turned around to face him.  
\- May I? you asked. He gave you the soap bottle and you poured it on your palm. You started to spread the soap on his chest and it turned into silky foam as it got mixed with the water droplets on his skin. You traced his muscles and listened to his breathing. You slid your hands on his sides and tried to find spots that were ticklish. You managed to find one and couldn’t help it. Chuckles in the dark, those chuckles turned into a promise that you would have to pay for that, which made you chuckle instead. You massaged his shoulders and arms and enjoyed the feeling of his muscles relaxing under your touch. Then lastly you pulled him closer and reached to soap his back.  
He leaned to kiss you. His lips locked yours and his hands explored your upper body freely; stroking, caressing and tracing every curve and every inch of skin they could find. You turned on the water and slowly the soap washed away. As it did, the kiss changed from a passionate, hungry fast-paced one into slow, affectionate and gentle kiss, just as his touches did.  
\- Thank you for taking the shower with me. you whispered against his skin.  
\- I am glad that you asked me, love.


	14. Getting rid of the insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I might have to start using some warnings... Taking the trip to the steamier side again.
> 
> If you do not want to read something between fluff and smut, then skip this chapter! Just skip it, you will not miss anything plot-wise.

You bumped into each other once or twice as you tried to locate the towels. Your laughter echoed in the bathroom and he managed to recognize only few words; “turn” and “lights”. He figured that since he could not turn off the lights since they were already off, he had gotten a green light for turning them on before any accidents, like slipping and hitting ones head to the sink, happened. He wondered that you might had said “don’t turn on the lights” but in his mind it made no sense because he was not going to turn them on in the first place.  
The light blinded you for a moment. When you gained your eyesight you saw Tom standing in front of you. His skin was decorated with small water droplets and it glistened in the light. His muscles were pretty much perfect and overall his physique combined with those soulful eyes and adorable smile… it was the closest to divine that you had ever been. However now the smile was gone. He took a slow glance at you from your head to toes and then returned to stare into your eyes intensely. You felt exposed, far beyond being naked. You dropped your head and tried to cover yourself a little by rubbing your elbow with your other hand. Tom put his finger under your chin and guided your head back up.

\- Do you have any idea just how beautiful you are? How desirable?  
A brief smile appeared on your face.  
\- The truth is that I would love to carry you to bed right now… with all the lights on, no covers, and show you just how much I adore you. I would like to caress you until you feel comfortable in your own skin… I would show how much you can enjoy, how satisfied you can be. I would show you the hunger I have for you. How aroused you make me. You and all your delicious curves.  
You stared at him, frozen completely still, not daring even blink your eyes or breathe.  
\- And I will… but not today.  
Finally you exhaled. Almost as you had been released from a powerful spell. He leaned closer to kiss you and before getting close enough to press his lips onto yours he whispered  
\- Because today, love, I just want to be close to you. I want you to learn to trust me and let me close so when you’ll find yourself in bed with me, with your hands tied to the bedpost… there will be no worries in your mind, only hunger to let me satisfy you entirely.  
You blushed but fortunately he was too close to notice, you stared into his bright eyes hypnotized, mesmerized, breathing only with shallow, rapid gasps. He leaned closer until his chest was against yours, your soft breasts pressed firmly against his solid muscles. His hand had moved from your chin onto your neck and the other was holding you tight. You encouraged your mind and fondled his strong arms with your hands as he finally pressed his lips on yours. He nibbled your lower lip gently and chuckled barely audible when his actions made you moan softly.  
That was the sound he was yearning to hear, the pure, raw passion escaping from your lips that for him tasted sweeter than any chocolate cake ever could. He felt your chest heave quite heavily against his. He guided you to stand against the wall and locked your body against the cool, smooth bathroom tiles with his. You tangled your fingers into his hair as he deepened the kiss. His hand left your back to caress your sides and finally he drew back just a little so he managed to slide his hand to caress the feminine curves of your chest. He avoided the most sensitive areas again, he was just the right amount of cruel to tease you like this.

He moved to kiss your neck. First teasingly tracing the sensitive skin with his lips, ghosting over while blowing hot air as he wanted to find the perfect spot to kiss you. First kiss was modest and tricked you to believe that the second one would be too. It however was not. He kissed you with an opened mouth and felt his teeth biting on the sensitive spot gently. You gasped for air, which encouraged him to repeat it.  
This time his teeth were followed by his tongue that slowly massaged and licked the area while his fingers teased you. You arched your back as you tried to offer yourself for him to touch. You did not care what you looked like, what you sounded like or even what he even did as long as it involved his hands and your body, in the same room, in the same sentence.  
You bit your lip when he finally touched your nipple. He withdrew back and stared at your face with a smirk. You raised your hands over your head and stared into his eyes as he watched your reactions to his caresses. You closed your eyes and moaned his name, but suddenly he stopped and moved his hand on your jaw.  
\- I knew I would enjoy this. he whispered with a mischievous tone as he brushed his thumb over your lips.  
\- I know what you need… However I am not going to give it to you, not today…  
You listened to his words, dripping like sweet, warm honey from his mouth and seducing you to abandon all of your insecurities as well as worries. He called you, lured you to follow him to the deep, unknown waters where only the brave ones survived.  
\- …but do not fret, because there is something that I am going to do… to make you…  
He said and kissed you briefly.  
\- …a little hungrier for me.

He kissed you again. He locked your hands against the cool wall above your head and then slid his hand from your jaw on to your neck, collarbone, caressed your nipple before continuing thrilling explorations further down. He stroked your hip, outer thigh, sometimes sliding his fingers on the backside but returned to caress your thigh. His large hand slid up and down on your thigh and just like a thief in the cover of darkest night he pressed his knee against the wall between your thighs, which forced you to open your legs without you even knowing it.  
His fingers had moved to map the yet unexplored territories of your inner thighs. He ran his fingers up and down, teasingly avoiding the place where you really needed him now. He kissed you once very slowly with his tongue driving you insane and leaving you breathless. He parted his lips from yours and asked  
\- What do you want me to do?  
\- Touch… me. Please. you gasped. He chuckled and moved to kiss your neck again.  
\- Make sure that you’ll let me hear you then. he mumbled with deep voice with into your ear and made you shiver. Then finally after teasing you for more than a half an eternity he finally touched you. You gasped for air and started to breathe faster as he moved his fingers slowly, with such precision, self-discipline and skill that made your head spinning. He quickened his pace and brought you to the edge, then he slowed down and stopped until you were begging him to continue. And you did, you begged him not to stop but he did and he did so with a chuckle, over and over again. You were at his mercy now and he was not quite done with you yet.

He muffled your moans as he returned to kiss your lips once more. This time he did not stop but slowly yet surely pushed you over the edge. He kept kissing you deeply until you were almost going to pass out from the lack of air. You filled your lungs and smiled against his mouth. He drew back to look at you and released your hands. You wrapped them around his neck and as soon as you were sure that your feet carried you, you raised on your tippy toes to kiss him.  
\- Maybe a quick shower… he mumbled and pulled you in the corner where the shower was. He put the water running and this time there was no need to turn off the lights.


	15. I think I'm falling in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking some tea and browsing some brochures.

You dried yourself with the large towel that Tom had given you and then put on the large t-shirt that you had gotten from him to wear and put your panties on. The shirt was long enough to give you some coverage in length-wise anyway. He put on loose pants and a sleeveless shirt and combined with the messy hair he was the most adorable sight that existed. He put the kettle on and soon the apartment was filled with the scent of tea. He loved tea and could drink it in every occasion. You did not love tea too much but if you got a little lemon and honey in it, it was good.  
You sat by the dining table when Tom brought you the hot cup and a spoon. There was a slice of lemon in the tea and you played with it as you waited for the tea to cool off slightly. He brought you the bottle of running honey which made you wonder when had you ever mentioned about your tea-drinking-habits, if you even had one. “I could have” you thought and breathed the scent in.

Tom got something from his satchel and sat next to you with his teacup. He put some brochures on the table and started to browse them through. You watched him curiously, deeply focused on his brochures, or so you thought.  
\- What are you looking at? he asked casually as he kept turning pages.  
\- Nothing, just you. you answered with a smile. He raised his head and turned it to look at you. His eyes were practically shining as he smiled.  
\- What are you reading? you asked just as casually.  
\- These, love, are travel brochures. I got them today so we can decide on the destination together.  
\- Uhuh? you commented and started to browse through one of three brochures. The pages were filled with amazing pictures of crystal-clear water and white beaches, gorgeous villas with incredible views.  
\- Finding anything you like? he asked after 15 minutes of silence.  
\- Well… They’re all very gorgeous. Truthfully though, if I’ll get to spend a month alone with you, I do not really care where we are.  
\- Good answer, but I still want to hear your opinion.  
\- Uhm… Thailand could work, there are peaceful beaches and clear waters.  
\- So Thailand that is. I shall start making reservations tomorrow. he said, took your hand and kissed it.

He put the brochures away and led you to the sofa with him. He put on a movie and you started to watch it, or more like had it as background noise because you found a conversation about your childhoods more interesting. You told him stories of what it had been like growing up and he listened curiously, sometimes he asked you questions which you answered, but sometimes the answers grew into separate stories and both of you forgot how anything was linked to anything. However it did not matter. You asked him to tell you about his childhood and leaned onto his shoulder while listening to the soft tone of his voice.  
It was getting late and it was time to get some sleep. You had your hipster-styled panties and Toms large T-shirt on when you crawled into his bed with which you fell in love immediately. Tom followed you, took off his shirt and lay down next to you, wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to sleep in a spoon with him.

You could not fall asleep. The pajama-top that you always used was a tube top –styled shirt and now as you were wearing a regular T-shirt it felt like it was almost like strangling you every time you moved, and man, you rolled a lot. At some point you got frustrated and took the shirt off. Tom was half asleep already and mumbled something about your skin being soft as you pressed your back against his chest. You pressed his arm against your chest and held it there by crossing your fingers with his.  
You smiled and listened to his peaceful breathing which finally, after laying awake for some time, calmed you down and you allowed yourself to fall into deep sleep in a new-slash-strange place. You were not usually able to get any sleep in such places but now you were positively surprised when your eyelids started to feel heavy and the surrounding world faded away leaving you with only the soothing sound of Tom breathing behind you and his warmth radiating from his body as well as the skin-on-skin –contact, now that neither of you were wearing shirts.

When the morning came you had rolled to sleep on your stomach on the other side of the bed. Your face was buried in the pillow and your hair was a mess. Tom woke up and smiled when he saw you. He did not want to wake you up, not just yet. He got closer and drew shapes on your skin with his fingertip. He wrote playfully “property of Tom Hiddleston” and then chuckled barely aloud when you mumbled something in your sleep. You rolled again. This time from your stomach onto your back. You moved your hand above your head on the pillow and continued sleeping.  
Tom removed the stray lock off your face and brushed it behind your ear. He laughed silently when it did not stay there but rebelled against his will, always returning to cover your face. He brushed your skin softly and ghosted over it with his lips. He buried his face into your neck and breathed in deeply through his nose. He loved your smell, it was innocent and intoxicating at the same time. He continued caressing the skin of your arms, shoulders and upper chest with his lips, still cautious not to wake you up. He pulled the blanket lower on your waist and admired your beautiful breasts as they rose and fell in the rhythm of your breathing.

He pressed a soft kiss on your breast while he gently caressed the other with his hand. The air in the room was cool and he watched mesmerized as Goosebumps appeared on your skin. He pulled the blanket back all the way up to your collarbones and moved to kiss your neck like he had described you on the phone. His hair tickled you and you started to chuckle while he continued kissing the spot where your neck meets your shoulder.  
\- Good morning. he mumbled and raised his head to look at you. You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair.   
\- Hi… you whispered and closed your eyes for a moment. Then you felt his lips on yours, demanding to return to his kiss. The kiss was lazy and slow but it lured you away from the state of being only half awake to full awareness. You smiled because he looked so adorable when he smiled at you and brushed your hair. Then the look on your face changed and you looked slightly worried.  
\- What is it, love? he asked. You hesitated.  
\- I think I’m falling in love with you. you answered with a barely audible voice that was still husky from the night.  
\- Does that scare you? he asked and traced your cheek with the back of his hand.  
\- Maybe a little.  
\- Why?  
\- Because I don’t let people close easily and I know that this is only our second date and it is way too early to assume anything or put labels… But we have never really talked about what we want from this. I mean if you want a casual hookup-kind of thing, then I cannot let myself fall in love with you… and then I should not be in this bed with you because the way you look at me, right now, is tearing down my defenses…  
\- Shush… Silly girl. Don’t you know that I am head over heels, completely crazy about you… Do you want to hear something serious?  
\- Yes…  
\- I am already in love with you, so hurry up.  
You felt warm and tingly inside in a way you had never felt before. It made you smile widely and wrap your arms around him so you could be as close to him as possible. You continued kissing, rolling and embracing each other in bed for an hour or two until your stomach made a loud sound as it started to demand for food.


	16. The final week before the trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom books the flights and all you have to do is to... miss him.

After eating Tom gave you a ride home. He said that he would start making reservations and booking flights as soon as he had reached home and then he would text you when it was done. He had a couple of interviews that evening so he could not come inside. You nodded and said that it was alright, you had to wash some clothes and conquer the Mt. Dish Devil anyway before it turned from a nasty science experiment into a bio-hazard. Tom chuckled and pulled you into a kiss before you left the car.

You stood by the front door and watched him driving away. You smiled to yourself briefly and went in. You took off your shoes and sat down for a moment to replay the events of past 2 days in your head. You touched your neck and it gave you an instant flashback to his kissing your skin softly and then more demandingly.  
You kept thinking how he had teased you, spoken to you, stared into your eyes with such intensity that it would had been quite enough to turn your feet into mush. You rubbed your lips and they tingled after every touch just like they had tingled after every kiss. Oh how you wanted him to kiss you and… take you to bed, undress you slowly and…

You had to shake yourself out from your daydreams because otherwise you did not get anything done. 

You phone beeped soon after you had gotten rid of the dishes. It was Tom informing you that the flight would be next Sunday at 19:30, destination Thailand and the length of the holiday four weeks. Your stomach filled up with butterflies; now it was real, you were going to spend a month alone with Tom in a “secret” hideaway place without distractions and obligations. You searched immediately your passport and checked that it was still valid. It would had been so embarrassing to go to the airport and then notice that your passport had expired. Fortunately your passport was alright, it was not going to expire for another 3 years.  
“Wow, that was fast. I am so happy to runaway with you!” you replied.  
“;)” was Toms answer which made you to think all the things he might do to you once you had reached the destination. You felt your pulse rising and face getting redder as your thoughts returned to him, his scent, the taste of his skin when he would get out from the sea, his voice, his strong arms… skillful fingers. “Oh stop it!” you commanded yourself. Your phone beeped again.  
“I know what you’re thinking about, love.”  
You decided to tease him a little and answered  
“I do not know what you’re talking about :P Besides I did not know that you are a telepath.“  
“You are thinking about me and don’t you deny it ;) “  
“Fine, yes. I am thinking about you.” you texted.  
“…and I miss you already :’( “ you added and tapped sent –icon on your phone screen.  
Then there was a silence. You kept staring at your phone and frustrated when it did not beep. You started to feel nervous. What if you had said it too early? “I miss you”. What if he was not ready for such revelation yet? He had told you that he was completely crazy about you but-

“I miss you more.”  
Finally! After an hour there was an answer. It had been the longest hour of your life and during that time you had managed to go through every possibly theory about the radio-silence. It was getting late and you decided to take a quick shower, followed by pleasant dreams, hopefully. You texted Tom once more and wished him goodnight.

The next days Tom was quite busy and he had no time to meet you. However you spoke with him on the phone every evening and started to talk about the trip. You had not been discussing about it in detail so for you it still felt very unreal. It was Saturday evening when he called you and asked if you preferred pizza or fish and chips with a movie. You were puzzled and answered “pizza”.  
You had not seen him since Monday and to be honest you had been missing him like crazy although now few days you had been terribly busy with packing. You had googled the weather forecasts and the climate information about the destination. You had also tried to learn some basic phrases and the dos as well as the don’ts. You did not want to go there and embarrass Tom when you accidentally offended someone and just because you had not known something very basic.

Tom called you again. He was talking about general things such as the flight time and check-in when there was a knock on the door. You went to open it.  
\- Hold on, Tom. There is someone at the door. you said as you turned the handle.  
\- I know. Tom said and put the phone away as he stepped in. He gave you a bottle of wine and two pizzas. He took off his jacket and shoes.  
\- I wanted to see you. he said and followed you to the living room. You put the bottle and the pizzas on the table and then opened your arms as an invitation which he gladly accepted.  
\- Have you packed? you asked as you rested your head against his chest.  
\- Yes. All set… which means…  
\- What does it mean?  
\- That I can spend the night here, if that is alright with you, love.  
\- Of course. you said and held him even tighter if that was possible.  
You set the table while Tom opened the wine bottle and but the pizzas into slices. Then you dimmed the lights and closed the curtains. Suddenly in the middle of the dinner Tom took his phone and started to tab the screen.  
\- What are you doing? you asked curiously.  
\- Just a moment, love… he said completely focused on the screen. After couple of minutes he finally showed you the screen. There was a text saying “you have now successfully checked-in...”  
\- Oh wow! We’re really going tomorrow. you exclaimed and covered your mouth with your hand.  
\- Yes. For 4 weeks I shall have you all for myself. I think it will be a lot of fun. You like the stars, don’t you?  
\- No…? I-I… I love them!  
\- Good, because after dancing in the sunset we shall listen to the sound of the waves rushing to the shore in the darkness and watch the stars cover the entire horizon… and then during the days we shall swim in the clearest waters… and dance some more.  
\- When will we sleep? you chuckled.  
\- No sleep.  
\- Well… it shall be interesting 4 weeks then. you joked. 

When you had finished the dinner you moved on the sofa with the wineglasses and started to watch a movie that Tom had selected. He had not seen it but he had read some fairly good reviews about it. However this time you disagreed with the critics entirely and so did Tom. After an hour you both noticed that neither of you had paid any attention to the movie because the conversation had been so much more interesting; you had been talking about house chores, like washing socks and cleaning windows, so the movie really was boring. You both burst into laughter when you realized that you were giving each other housekeeping tips.

Tom paused the movie, turned to face you on the sofa and stared into your eyes. Your laughter died immediately when you noticed him staring at you in such demanding way. He was indeed demanding your undivided attention. When you finally granted it, he leaned closer rapidly and kissed you. You pulled him closer and slid your fingers into his hair.  
His hands explored your body first on the clothes but it did not take long for him to slide his hands under your shirt. You moved your fingers from his neck and hair to the buttons of his shirt and opened them one by one until the shirt was completely unbuttoned. You caressed his chest with your fingers and reached to kiss his neck. His scent was intoxicating; it made you feel safe and excited at the same time, it gave you a feeling of the right kind of mixture of danger and desire wrapped in deep trust. You wanted more.  
His fingers traced your back under your shirt and opened the hooks of your bra without you even noticing it. Then his hands grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head.  
\- I will take you to bed now, if you want me to… he whispered against the skin of your neck.  
\- I was going to suggest the same thing. you answered and stood up. You took his hand and led him into your bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Agentrogers17 as a thank-you for the comment :)  
> I hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> \- Venla :)


	17. Good for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedroom stuff.  
> Again, if you do not want to read something between fluff and sm- oh wait... let me correct myself... If you do not want to read smut, yes... here we go... then skip this chapter!  
> Skip it. do it now... nothing to see here plot-wise :D
> 
> If you choose to read on... it is on your own responsibility :D you have been warned: smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I publish smut, so I do not know if it is any good or not... Uhm... I hope you'll... enjoy??? I cannot say that, can I? Well... I hope that you'll rather enjoy than start to cry, curl up into a fetus-position and get traumatized. 
> 
> Yeah...

As you arrived to your small bedroom, Tom pushed you against the wall and started to kiss you again. In his opinion he had been denied the pleasure of your lips far too long and he was not alright with that. He removed your bra pinned your hands against the wall. He gave you a mischievous smirk and as leaned closer, almost close enough to kiss you, but not just quite, driving you insane with frustration. Every time you tried to kiss him, he pulled back just a little so his lips where just there, so close but still out of your reach.  
\- Let’s see if I can convince you that I’m the one you should definitely fall in love with. he stated and finally kissed you. He pressed his chest against and moved his hips against yours teasingly. You raised your leg and rubbed the back of his knee with the sole of your foot allowing him to stand between your legs. The hem of your skirt had slipped partially up to your hip as you had lifted your leg. The fabric was light and silky.  
\- Keep your hand as it is. Tom said before he let go your other hand and slid it slowly down from your wrist along the sensitive skin of your inner arm to your armpit and then brushed your breast just barely touching which made you to bite your lip. His hand stayed caressing your nipple for a moment and then continued lower. He reached your thigh that was pressed tightly against his, stroke the skin teasingly but then grabbed you from the back of your knee. The move was almost rough and shifted your position in a way that your capability of standing was completely up to his support. He was that much taller than you that you had to stand on your toes and as he was pushing you slightly upwards with every thrust of his hip and lifting your leg higher for better access so you really were on his mercy.  
The fabric of his jeans felt somewhat rough against your inner thighs, but it was a good kind of rough especially when his movements were serving you friction to the most sensitive areas making you feel hot and needy. However this time you wanted to tease him too.

\- My turn. you said with husky, low voice and pushed him further away. You smirked, slid his shirt off his shoulders but did not let it fall completely because the buttons of his sleeves were locking it to his wrists and therefore his hands were basically locked securely almost behind his back. You chuckled and pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed. He supported himself to his elbows when you pushed him to lay back.  
You were in charge now. You bent down and almost kissed him but pulled back leaving him frustrated this time. You stood up and seductively removed the skirt which left you wearing only your panties. The wine was making you bold and the dim lighting in the room made you feel quite sexy actually.  
\- Tell me what you would like to do to me… you said and bent down again. Tom swallowed and for once he was speechless. You stared into his eyes and bit your lip.  
\- I am not going to kiss you if you will not tell me… you said and traced his lips with your fingertips. Your voice was deep and smearing his consciousness with deep, sticky caramel of slow seduction.  
\- I am going to… pin you down to the mattress… he answered with trembling voice. You smiled and kissed his jaw.  
\- What then? you whispered and kept kissing his neck, getting lower onto his chest.  
\- Then I will kiss your…  
Your hand was simultaneously caressing his thighs over his jeans and got slowly closer to his member.  
\- Holy shit! he gasped when you touched him through the fabric.  
\- What was that?  
\- …sorry, ehehehe… he laughed nervously.  
\- …I will kiss your breasts and tease your nipples until you’ll beg me…  
You kissed his chest and got lower, onto his stomach and finally you reached his jeans. Your hands opened his belt slowly while you stared intensely into his eyes.  
\- Go on… you whispered and opened the buttons of his jeans. After that you pulled his pants down to his knees and started to caress the bare skin of his thighs. You kissed the inner thighs and rubbed him over the boxers.  
\- Holy shit, love, I am going to do this exact thing to you. he exclaimed when your hand disappeared under the fabric of his underpants. You chuckled and felt yourself getting even more aroused from the sound of his voice and the mental image of him between your legs, reaching to pleasure you until you could not take it anymore.  
You decided that it was time to get rid of the boxers as well. You pulled them slowly down and kissed his stomach as you teased him and ran your nails softly on his thighs. The touch was soft and gentle but gave him entirely different kind of sensation.

\- You are driving me insane! he panted when you finally focused on his manhood. You brushed it up and down on the entire length with the tips of your fingers and enjoyed the sight when he closed his eyes and threw his head back. He was getting hard and it was time to change your tactic to more intense one.  
\- Just make sure that I’ll hear you… you said and wrapped your hand around him and started to move it up and down. Then you kissed the tip and took him into your mouth which made him gasp for air and groan with pleasure. You licked his length and when he was getting closer, you slowed down all the caresses, sucks and licks. Oh no, you were not going to give it to him that easily, just like he had not given it to you.  
When his breathing had calmed you started again, you did not care how long this little tease of yours would last, but you had decided to bring him to the edge many times and stop just before. Tom had no choice than to go with it. You sucked him, licked him and stroked him bringing him to the edge of an orgasm again and again. He was begging you to give it to him and finally you quickened your pace and fucked him with your mouth until he came.  
You stood up and told him that you would be right back.

\- I will get the wine… Dear Tom, you look like you could do some… refreshment. you stated and left the room. Tom chuckled, he indeed looked very flushed. You were finally realizing what you had just done and felt the blush to cover your face. You emptied your glass that had been left half full and washed the taste of him. You took the bottle and returned to the bed room. When you got there Tom had removed the shift and the pants and was laying on the bed completely naked.  
\- Sorry, I don’t have a bedpost. you smirked and offered the bottle to him. He laughed and emptied it. It was almost empty anyway. He put the bottle away and tapped the bed.  
\- I think I will figure something out. he teased and tapped the bed again, this time more demandingly. You crawled on your all fours to kiss him on the bed but there was no way he was going to let you set the pace anymore. You had your fun, now it was his turn.  
He wrapped his arms around you and rolled on top of you, pressing you against the mattress.  
\- You know, what you just did… was not in my plans… he mumbled.  
\- Therefore I do not know whether I should punish you or reward you… he continued.  
\- Oh come on, do not tell me that you did not enjoy it…  
\- Oh, I did… very much, love…  
\- So why are you complaining? you teased and bit your lip.  
\- I’m not, but I shall have my revenge anyway… because it was supposed to be me who will drive you insane with hunger and not the other way around. But don’t you worry… I feel quite refreshed now.  
His tone had a hint of mischief in it and it was almost like he had been reading your mind; you wanted to see the side of him that took charge, the inner Loki, mischievously playful, deceivingly charming villain that was up to no good… or he was up to all sorts of good, but those were that kind of good which you would not discuss about during the family dinner.

He started by kissing you, softly at first, just brushing his lips on yours. Then he started to deepen the kiss, devoured your mouth with his and conquered it with his tongue. His tongue made you think about all the things he could do with it, all the places he could caress.  
He shifted himself and moved to lay next to you which gave him the freedom to use his hand to explore your body more freely because he did not have to support his weight anymore. His fingers traced your jaw, neck and shoulders. He adored every inch of your arms with his touches and although his actions were hungry and passionate, there was still softness and love in them. He was not blindly driven by lust but his caresses had the undertone of desire to be good to you. He did not want to use you for his pleasures or merely grant you yours but show you how much he cared and wanted to be good… to you and with you.  
He moved to stroke the skin around your nipples before touching them. He massaged and adored both of your breasts and felt your heartbeat against his palm. Your heart was pounding through your ribcage with heated pace. After taking his time his hand slid lower to caress your stomach. He moved his knee and locked yours against the mattress with his so you were playfully forced to keep your legs open.  
He brushed your inner thighs and got closer to the fabric of your panties. When he did, he caressed you through the fabric before sliding his hand under it. His strokes were not intense at first but then he added pressure. He rubbed you and then finally when you started to move yourself against his hand, he allowed himself to slide his hand under the fabric. He patted his own back when he discovered how aroused you were, especially when he knew that he had barely just begun.  
He moved his fingers with the same pace than his mouth dominated yours. The kisses had become slow and intimate and his actions lower matched it perfectly. He brought you to the edge a few times and finally let you come, mostly because he was in a hurry to taste you.

His lips left yours and he moved himself to lay between your legs. He stopped moving for a moment as he stroked your smiling features with the back of his hand. He let you to catch your breath and calm down. His eyes were practically shining and he looked very cute, almost shy and innocent.  
\- I love you. he said and pressed a soft kiss on your lips. You smiled against his mouth and stroked his hair.  
\- Now… It’s my turn. he said and the look on his face changed. He wrapped his arm around you and lifted you slightly, pulled you to lay against the pillows comfortably. Then he kissed your lips once before leaving them and beginning the expedition of his own. He wanted to learn to know your body, he wanted to learn what made you gasp for air and in which ways to touch you. He wanted to show you how precious you were and how much he worshipped you, from head to toes, inside out, physically as well as mentally.

His lips kissed your neck but this time they did not stop there. He crawled lower to kiss your breasts. He traced the curves with his tongue and took the nipple in his mouth. You arched your back and granted him better access. Then he left your breasts and moved to kiss your stomach. His fingers had been sliding your panties down without you noticing. You had been so focused on what his mouth had been doing that you had failed to notice anything else. You lifted your butt so he managed to slide the panties off and then let Tom to lift your legs, closing them for a moment so he was able to get them off completely. He was sitting on his knees, the soles of your feet against his chest. He let the other leg to fall against the mattress again, on his left side, opening your legs to him again. The sight made him hungry so he kissed the ankle of the other foot and started slowly kiss his way up, closer to where you wanted him to touch you.

When he passed your knee, he lowered your leg on the mattress and repositioned himself so he was able to kiss you all the way to your inner thigh. When he had reached it, he stopped for a moment and slid his fingers along your folds. After teasing you and prolonging the moment which only added to your anticipation, he finally granted you to feel his lips and tongue on the most sensitive area of your body. He licked, kissed and sucked with such skill that with no time you were hovering on the edge of an orgasm again. He stopped and let you calm down. Then you felt his fingers on your entrance. He inserted one finger and examined your reactions before he began to move his finger slowly. Your breathing that had just managed to calm down became shallow and rapid again. He pulled his finger out, which caused you to sigh out of the sudden lack of contact. However he did not leave you empty for long; this time he slid two long fingers inside you and started to prepare you for something bigger. He returned to caress you with his tongue and with his other hand he locked your hips against the mattress. He was not going to stop.

You begged him to reach deeper and do it harder, you pleaded him not to stop and this time he did not. Your moans got louder and you could feel the orgasm getting unavoidable. You held your breath, tensed your muscles, arched your back and squeezed the pillows with your fingers. Then you collapsed back on the pillows and started to chuckle as the shivers of raw pleasure spread all over your body. Tom slowed down his actions after he had assured himself that you had been completely satisfied. Well not entirely, completely satisfied yet. You wanted to feel him as close as it was possible.

He returned to kiss you and lowered himself on you. His weight felt good and as you kissed him, he started to move his hips against yours and you returned to his moves as well. He was getting hard again and you felt his length pressing against your lower stomach.  
\- I need you, now. you mumbled against his mouth and pulled him closer by wrapping your legs around him. He grabbed his hard member and teased you with it as he rubbed the tip against your entrance, but not allowing it deeper. Then he rubbed the area he had been licking just a moment ago with the tip and sent tingles all over your body.  
\- Stop teasing! you chuckled and spread your legs even wider. He pressed his hardness on your entrance and slowly slid his member in. You were glad that he had used so much time on you because he was large. The stretch was almost painful as it was, even though it was safe to say that you were basically dripping. When he had entered you completely he stayed still for a moment to give you time to get used to his size. He had been monitoring your expressions all the time and would had pulled out immediately if you had showed any signs of discomfort. Hurting you was the least thing he wanted to do.

You smiled and caressed his cheeks with your fingers. When you were ready, you slid your hand behind his neck and pulled him to kiss you. You wrapped your legs around his and signaled that you were ready. He pulled slowly almost completely out and started to move with slow, steady pace. Although the stretch felt almost too much still, it began to feel very pleasurable when you relaxed and even let your mind go. You shifted yourself a little, for a better angle so every time he thrust in, you got friction to the most sensitive areas as well. He noticed it and instead of basic “in and out” –motion he started to work his snake-hips on you which increased your pleasure.  
You felt the peak getting closer with every move and every kiss. He drew back to look at you as you came undone under him. He kept doing with his hips what he was doing, slow round, grinding –like circles and felt your inner walls clenching around him.  
\- You feel so good, love. he whispered and kissed your forehead. He continued rocking himself into you until he pulled out almost completely and slammed himself in all the way, this he repeated a couple of times until he too reached his orgasm.

\- You too. you replied softly when he collapsed on you. You stroked his hair and listened him panting against your ear as he had buried his face in your neck. Your breathing got back to normal slowly and you focused to caress his back with featherlike brushes as he was getting back on ground from his heights. He loved just how gentle you were with him. Your every touch told him that you loved him although you had never said it aloud. Maybe you were still a little scared to admit it, but he knew it already. It was enough for him, for now. He would need to hear those words from your lips but only when you were ready to say them.  
He pulled out and lay down next to you. You were almost expecting him to turn his back on you and get some sleep like all the other guys you had ever dated, there were not that many, but still some, a few… but Tom wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close instead. He stroked the skin of your back as you caressed the skin of his chest, or more like wrote your name on it with the tip of your finger.  
\- How are you feeling? he asked after a long silence. You felt completely calm and happy.  
\- Not that scared anymore. you said and snuggled closer. Tom chuckled and took that as a codeword for “I love you”.


	18. Long journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long-ass-flight and lack of sleep.

You opened your eyes when your alarm went off. You had not packed yet because your Saturday evening had taken a twist to the wild side. Fortunately you had remembered to set the alarm quite early so there was still time to pack. However there was no way you could had left the bed because there was a strong arm wrapped around you and keeping you close.  
\- Hey… you mumbled and turned to face Tom. He was smiling with his eyes closed.  
\- I should get up. you said with husky voice.  
\- Why? he asked or more like teased and held you tighter.  
\- I haven’t packed. you admitted and chuckled.  
\- It’s okay, love, you do not have to pack; we can buy you new clothes… anything you need. Travel light.  
\- Oh come on!  
\- Will do! he said and rolled on top of you.  
\- I am quite ready to do everything and anything to keep you in this bed with me as long as possible. he continued with a wide smile on his face. He kissed you slowly and lovingly like he had all the time in the world to spend with you. The minutes however slipped away and turned into an hour and unfortunately soon you had to get out from the warmth of the blanket… and the embrace. You put on your pajama and ran around the apartment like a headless chicken which amused Tom greatly as you tried to get your bags packed in a hurry and slight state of panic.

You managed to pack and check everything three times. Then you took out the garbage and left the apartment with Tom. You and Tom took a taxi to his place to get his bags and then took the taxi to the airport. After ditching the bags and going through the security you had enough time to eat early dinner.  
You could not stop staring at Tom with a silly, happy smile on your face. You loved the way he talked, the way he looked at you and gosh… you loved everything about him and you kept blushing every time he smiled at you. And to be honest, all he saw was you. His eyes and attention were fixed upon you and he did not get distracted by anything, not even by some nosy gossip-reporters that were trying to get a story of where and with whom he was traveling.

When you got to the plane, Tom was happy to switch seats with you so you got the window seat and were able to enjoy the scenery. You were slightly afraid of flying, just a little bit, and it was obvious that you were nervous. When the airplane started moving on the runway you grabbed the arms of the chair and tried to hide your nervousness. Tom noticed it and guided you to look at him. He leaned in to kiss you and he kissed you until the airplane was securely up in the air.  
It was the first time you were flying in the first class. The seat was spacious and there was a lot of room for legs. The plane flew to the north, to Helsinki-Vantaa airport where your connecting flight departed. There was a seven-hour-break in your flight. It was midnight when you arrived in Helsinki-Vantaa but since it was summer and the weather was clear, it was not dark at all and as the hours passed by the sky got lighter and finally sun came up, around 4 AM.  
You spent the night chatting and walking around the airport. You ate night snack and very early breakfast and then took the flight to Asia. Tom had tried to book a straight flight from London to Bangkok but since he had started booking with such short notice, the only option had been to take a not-so-straight route with a 7-hour stop in the beginning.

The flight went well. It was a long-ass-flight but fortunately there were a collection of movies to watch. Tom was able to sleep on the plane unlike you, who could not sleep in moving vehicles or unfamiliar places. Your travel companion leaned onto your shoulder and after 9 hours the plane started descending and he woke up.  
\- Have you slept? he asked.  
\- Nope. you said with a perky tone. You were too excited anyway to sleep and your state of tiredness was turning into a hyper-mode, almost like you had been slightly drunk. You had woken up at 9am the previous day, stayed up whole night on the airport and now it was 9 PM. You had been awake for roughly 36 hours.  
\- But I’m good. you continued and squeezed Toms hand. After arriving to the Bangkok airport and getting through the passport control, getting the bags and managing to find a taxi you took a ride to the train station where you were supposed to catch the night train to Suratthani. Your final destination was the island of Ko Samui where you had to continue by boat. The train took almost 9 hours and it arrived to Suratthani at 8 AM. There you took a taxi to the ferry pier and then a boat to the island.  
Finally, at 3 PM you had checked in to your private beach villa… and you still had not slept since leaving your bed and you had been awake for 49 hours straight which was your personal record. Tom however had been able to sleep even a couple of hours on the train, mostly because he travelled a lot and had gotten used to taking full advantage of those transfer-times.

After taking your bags inside you walked out to the beach. The white sand and turquoise sea greeted you. The sky was getting a bit dark and it looked like the storm was approaching but it was still very warm, almost hot. There was clearly electricity in the air.  
\- I think there’s going to be a thunder storm. Tom said when he walked behind you.  
\- Yeah. Ha! I actually like storms. It better be a good one! you exclaimed and turned to face him. He looked at you and put his hands on your cheeks. Now he finally noticed how tired you looked. You had been adding powder to cover the dark circles around your eyes but as you had been wiping sweat off your face you had also managed to wipe the powder away. Tom did the math quickly in his head.  
\- Over 49 hours, love.  
\- What?  
\- You have been awake over 49 hours, isn’t that correct?  
\- Hm… you commented and looked at him with a thoughtful look on your face. Then you yawned although you did your best not to.  
\- I knew it! You are exhausted. he stated and hugged you. You breathed in his scent that got mixed with the salty sea breeze.  
\- Come… he said and took your hand.  
\- Let’s get you to bed. he continued and led you back in, into a big luxurious bedroom. You washed your face, took off your clothes and went to bed in your underwear. The sheets felt silky against your skin and the bed was just as comfortable as it had looked like.  
\- I will go and get us some supplies from the town. You will stay here and sleep. I have my phone with me so call me if there’s anything… okay? he said and cupped your face with his large hands.  
\- But I’m okay, seriously… Don’t you need help with-  
\- No. I want to be the best boyfriend I can be… so if it’s a relaxing back massage, a trip to Paris for a weekend or lot’s of sleep… I want to make sure that you’ll get it. he said with a firm tone.  
\- Boyfriend, huh? you mumbled with a weary smile on your face and kissed him once before laying down and allowing yourself to drift away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Melissa. Thanks for the comment :)
> 
> Ps. please do not mind if/when the travel times do not make sense or something. I tried to google stuff but I have never been there... so :D


	19. The storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This storm might not be your favorite.

Tom watched you to fall asleep and then he left. After an hour the rain started. The villa was located by an open sea and there were tall palm trees surrounding the building from the other sides. However when the storm approached from the seaside, there was nothing to block the winds. The see was roaring, the tree branches flying in the air, the sky had gone deep, dark gray as the thunder clouds had surrounded the part of the island where the villa was.  
You had been sleeping about 3 hours when a sound of a lightning striking nearby woke you up with a light heart attack. You stared into the darkness for a moment with wide eyes as you tried to for an idea where you were and what was going on. You heard the rain, the sea, thunder, wind… but there was something else as well; a constant sound of something knocking against glass, or screeching-sound like something had been scratching the glass with something sharp. It was physically painful to be awake which caused you to sigh as you forced yourself up and out from the bed. Your muscles ached and every cell in your body was screaming for rest but still you had to go and see what was going on. You put on a dressing robe that you found hanging in the bathroom.

\- Hello? you shouted and tried not to hit every furniture on your way. You balance was off with made you clumsy and you were almost blind because there were no lights and you did not know the place. You found a light switch but it did not work. That made you groan and in the heat of the frustration, you kicked a chair and hurt your toe.  
\- Tom? you asked and jumped when there was a loud sound of glass shattering. You walked to the living room area and saw a tree branch sticking in from the window that was now in thousand sharp pieces. The wind was pushing the rain in from the broken window. You put your shoes on to avoid the glass and walked to the door that was leading to the terrace that led onto the beach.  
What you saw was something that you could not believe; there were trees fallen from the surrounding garden, the terraces roof was partially torn away because a large palm tree had fallen on it and the storm winds had torn off some parts of it. There was smoke coming from a tree nearby where the lightning had hit. You had been so deep asleep that you had not heard anything up to the point of the lightning striking to the tree.  
The sun had set already and the twilight had turned into a frightening darkness. You tried to put on lights again but the power lines were cut off by the fallen trees. You returned to the bedroom and found your phone. There was no reception because of the storm. You were completely alone in the middle of the chaos. You were too shocked to scream or even cry, so you just froze still.  
  
Tom had walked to the town and it had taken almost an hour for him to get there. Then it had started to rain and he had decided to wait the rain to stop but it only got heavier. He had almost left the town but he had been told that the road was now flooded and there was no way he could return to the villa safely. He was worried and tried to call you many times but your phone could not be reached.  
  
You changed the dressing robe to your own clothes, just in case someone came to check upon you. Then you sank down on the sofa to stare into the darkness. The horizon kept flashing occasionally but the worst was over already. Finally even the rain stopped and the wind calmed down. When it did, you stepped out and took a walk on the beach. The moon came out eventually and illuminated the garden, which was a mess now. It was well-past midnight and it was getting obvious that Tom was not going to get back just yet. You figured that the storm had hit the town as well and maybe there were trees on the road, who knows.  
You kept wondering if he was alright, if he was thinking about the same thing. If he was able to sleep, you knew you weren’t although you were dead-tired. Every noise made you jump until the sky started to turn lighter from the deep night-blue into the greenish yellow and finally the sun appeared to the horizon as an orange glow at first and then as bright sphere. Suddenly you heard a sound of a motor getting closer and a boat appeared into the bay.

Tom had rented a boat with a sailor as soon as the darkness had turned into twilight and a local fisherman had consented to take him to the villa by the sea since the road was flooded. He saw you standing knee-deep in the water in front of a villa that had a broken terrace roof and messed up garden. He jumped off the boat when it slowed down. The water was up to his waist and it felt like he had been battling against great forces that were trying to keep you away from him as he struggled to get closer. The beach was shallow and the distance was almost 10 meters. You took a couple of steps closer and opened your arms as an invitation.  
\- Are you… hurt? he asked and tried to see if there were any signs of injuries after hugging you.  
\- I’m fine. You? you answered and asked in return. Tom did not answer. He just wrapped his arms around you and held you tight again, this time he did not want to let go.  
\- Are you? you asked and drew back.  
\- Yes… yes! The storm did not hit the town that badly. It is you that I am worried about. The storm was… bad. I can see our villa is wrecked.  
\- Yeah… that…  
\- But I don’t care about the villa… Are you sure that you’re alright and unharmed?  
\- Yeah-yeah… you replied, your tone was slightly hesitant because you felt that although you had been convincing yourself the entire time you had been staring at the horizon that everything was alright, you could feel it lurking in the darkest corners of your mind… whatever “it” meant, it would get out eventually.  
\- Do you want to go home? I totally understand if you d-  
\- No… Everything is fine. Our villa isn’t but… I see no real reason to leave, unless of course, you rath-  
\- No-no-no… but…  
\- Then we’ll stay, yeah?  
\- Yes.  
Tom contacted the owner of the villa and managed to rent another which was also located by the sea but the location was more sheltered from strong winds. Luckily neither of you had unpacked your bags so the changing of location was easy. The road was recovered by afternoon and a car came to pick you both up. The owner walked around the garden and cursed loudly in his native language. You were sitting on the beach, eating a chocolate bar that you had bought in Helsinki-Vantaa but forgotten to eat earlier. Gosh you were hungry! It had been ages you had eaten the last time. You had not been that hungry during the storm but now that your mind had calmed down you finally felt… hungry.

\- Mr. Hiddleston- the owner began.  
\- I am terribly sorry for this inconvenience. That another villa will be vacant from the day after tomorrow on. In the meantime I suggest that you’ll check into the hotel that is located nearby, unfortunately not by the sea… there is a pool… It is owned by my brother. It’s not much, but-  
\- We’ll take it. you intervened. You just wanted to get some food and sleep. For you it did not matter if the temporary accommodation was barely 3-stars as long as it had a bed.  
\- The drinks and the meals will be on the house, of course. the owner continued and asked his employee to carry your bags to the car. You took a final glance at the beach as well as the villa and then nodded at Tom. He walked you to the car and opened the door to you. You went in and he then sat next to you.  
The flood had damaged the road and the ride was bumpy. You stared out from the window as the car slowly drove on. Tom followed you constantly. He was trying to read your mind, if you were alright or if you were hiding something under the exterior that made you seem cool and fine. You turned your head and saw him staring at you.  
\- What? you asked and smiled briefly.  
\- Nothing, love. I am just trying to read your mind and see beyond the surface.  
\- Oh… you began and as you were about to “talk about it” the car stopped and the owners brother came to open the door of the car. He ordered his employee to take the bags into the room and then he welcomed you both to his hotel. It was not big or fancy, but you did not mind. He mostly spoke with Tom which allowed you to sink deep into your own thoughts, or more like the numbing lack of them.

The door closed with a bang when the owner of the hotel left the room, the sound made you jump and gasp for air. You were standing on the balcony, staring into the horizon… or more like the next buildings wall, when you felt Toms hands on your arms. He had been unable to sleep the previous night as well and suggested that you would grab a quick bite and then go to bed with him. You answered that it sounded good and turned to face him with a tired smile on your face.  
You went to the small restaurant that was located right next door, most likely owned by some family member, and ordered quick noodles with wok. After finishing the meal you returned to the room, took a quick shower and then went to bed. The room lacked air conditioning and there was no breeze coming from the window so you decided to sleep naked. Tom returned to the room soon after you. He had stopped by in the shop nearby to buy some water bottles and quick snacks.

He too took a shower and joined you in the bed. When he did, you were half-asleep already. He pulled you into his arms and kissed your forehead softly. He had been worried sick and it had been one of the most horrifying feelings he had ever dealt with and when he had thought about you all alone in the storm, completely cut off from help and especially from him, it had torn him apart. He blamed himself for leaving you alone.  
\- I’m so sorry. he whispered against your forehead and held you closer.  
\- You must have been so scared… he continued with the soft tone. You squeezed his hand and mumbled  
\- I was just… worried… that…  
\- What, love?  
\- … too late…  
\- For what?  
\- … didn’t tell… you…  
\- Tell me what?  
\- … I love… you. you mumbled although your words were mostly inaudible and faded away as you slipped deeper in sleep.  
\- Shush. Sleep now, love. You can tell me anything in the morning. he whispered and smiled against your forehead. He was relieved; your biggest worry had been that you had not told him that you loved him, you were not blaming him for leaving you alone on the verge of the storm, although he blamed himself for that.  
There was another thunder storm but this time it raged somewhere else, over the sea, and the rumble did not even wake you up. You had rolled on your side to hug a pillow. It was early afternoon when you gained consciousness again. You had been basically knocked out for more than 16 hours straight which was double compared to what you usually slept. 

You felt a featherlike touch on your arm and light kisses on your bare shoulder as well as your upper back. Warm breath, lips, fingers running through your hair and gathering the locks of your hair behind your ear. Then the mattress shifted slightly and you felt a hand sliding on your side and then on your stomach. Chest pressing against your back, lips on your earlobe, nibbling gently and a soft voice whispering sweet words into your ear. You smiled but did not open your eyes yet.  
Tom kissed your neck. He wanted to wake you up as gently as he possibly could. He missed the sound of your voice very much and although he enjoyed watching you sleep peacefully, he was eager to see you smile at him. He wanted to turn you over, stare into your eyes before pressing his lips onto yours and enjoying the way they moved against his so gently. He missed to feel his whole body against yours.  
You were fully awake, pretending to be asleep still, too tired to open your eyes or to say anything. Besides you loved the way Tom woke you up.  
\- I know you’re awake. he mumbled against your neck. You chuckled slightly and yawned.  
\- I’m not. you mumbled.  
\- And you’re not either. you continued.  
\- Am not? he asked and turned you to lay on your back. You held back the laughter and bit your lip so you would not smile.  
\- Come on, (Y/N). I want to see that beautiful smile.  
You flashed a wide smile and laughed as he tickled you from your side, right under your armpit. He kept demanding you to open your eyes and finally you had to plea for mercy.  
\- Alright, alright! you laughed and opened your eyes. You were greeted with a wide smile, a playful “ehehehe” and bright, intense stare. You put your hands on his cheeks and traced the small lines that he had in the corners of his eyes. They were one of those things that made him Tom, kind and caring.  
\- So you’re awake. he stated with warm, gentle tone. You breathed in and out slowly through your nose with a calm smile on your face. You brushed his nose with your index finger playfully and whispered “silly Tom”.

\- What do you want to do today? he asked.  
\- To swim… Can we take a boat somewhere and camp there for the day? This room is… slightly…  
\- Depressing?  
\- …hot.  
\- Oh… is that the reason why you’re sleeping without…  
\- Yes, Tom. I was feeling hot, so I took a cold shower and went to bed…  
\- Naked. No, I am not complaining… I am not complaining at all. I adore you…There is nothing sweeter than to feel your silky, exquisite skin against mine... I worship you and your body…  
\- Ha-ha!  
\- But I am not going to worship it physically here, if you know what I mean… in this small, slightly uncomfortable bed and… depressingly dodgy hotel room.  
\- Thomas William Hiddleston! You are being a snob and I think that you are well aware of that yourself as well. you teased and mimicked a snobbish accent.  
\- No, babe. Just stating the obvious, baby-girl. You deserve all the stars… he replied with an American accent.  
\- All five of them?  
\- Every single one in the sky, love. he said with his regular, charming tone.  
\- What a romantic!  
\- That’s why you love me so much. he said and hoped that it would encourage you to say it aloud. Although you had said it half-asleep just yesterday but he really wanted to hear you saying it, fully awake.  
\- Yeah… must be…  
\- So… you love… me?  
\- Yeah… I do. A little. you teased with a playful smirk.  
\- Only a little? he asked with a disappointed look on his face.  
\- Maybe… slightly more… much more… I might love you… an insane amount.  
\- Might? he teased.  
\- Being demanding, aren’t you?  
\- Nah… just completely in love with you. I would just like to know that you feel the same.  
\- Ha-ha… Well, rest assured. I love you, I… adore you. It is pretty crazy but… in a good way… In the best of ways.  
\- Good. he commented and kissed you. His lips brushed yours just barely at first, but after a moment he lowered himself closer and kissed you for real. You wrapped your arms around him and with his help rolled on top of him, leaving him between yourself and the mattress. Your hair hung over your face as you supported yourself with your arms and hovered partially on him. Tom looked relaxed and happy with his head against the pillow, smiling at you. His eyes were practically shining. He was truly beautiful.

He examined your face and noticed you slipping inside your head. You had not processed the storm at all and although you tried not to think about it, it haunted in the back of your head; all the sounds, the lightning, darkness… shattering glass. The smile slowly left your face without you realizing it. You were somewhere far away mentally and your eyes were filling up with tears.  
Suddenly the door that led to the balcony slammed shut by a gush of wind. The sound resembled the sound that had woken you up during the storm. You recoiled from your thoughts and stared at Tom with wide, terrified eyes. You gasped for air sharply and held your breath for a moment. The moment was gone in a flash. You faked a smile and got out from the bed. You stormed into the bathroom where you wiped your eyes quickly and stared at yourself in the mirror. “This is not the way I want to start this holiday” you thought and managed to push the feeling aside…. for now.  
\- So boat and a picnic? you asked with a cheerful tone when you came out from the bathroom in your bikinis and a sarong that had been wrapped casually on your hips.


	20. Boat-trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A perfect day for a private beach-party.

The owner of the villas was more than happy to take you out to the sea. He had a cousin who owned a boat, a small boat but it was a boat nevertheless. Besides you did not mind as long as it floated and did not capsize in the waves. You were taken to the harbor after shopping for picnic –stuff. You had bought fruits, cookies, nuts and water bottles. You would had loved to buy some fried chicken but a case of food poisoning was the least you needed since you were unsure if there was a fridge onboard… or even an ice-box.  
And there was not so leaving out anything that could had gotten spoiled in the sun was a smart idea. You sat in the front and stared into the horizon. The day was sunny and the sea was sparkling, a perfect day for a picnic and a boat ride. Tom came to sit next to you. He gave you a bottle of sun lotion and asked you to do his back. You spread the lotion carefully without missing a spot. Sunburns were the other thing that neither of you wanted so he was more than happy to return the favor. His hands moved slowly and he made sure to massage every bit of your back with relaxing, circular motions. When he was done he pulled you to lean on him.

The boat jumped slightly as it sailed against the waves. You squealed and started to laugh. Your back shook against Toms chest as you kept laughing, which made him laugh as well. It was funny how contagious the laughter was. Soon the boat slowed down and the owner of the boat parked it by a white beach. You took the picnic-bag and jumped off the boat onto the smooth rocks that served as a pier. Tom followed you and helped you to spread the blanket on the sand.  
The owner of the boat did not speak any English, or maybe just a few words. He was a fisherman by his profession and the only business he had with tourism-industry were the fish-deliveries to the restaurant that was in the family and of course, rare boat trips that his cousin made him do.  
\- I go. Come back. he said, pointed at the sun and motioned “when sun goes down”.  
\- Ok. Tom replied and gave him thumbs up. You were happy that he left you two alone. You really did not need an old fisherman to eavesdrop on your stupid jokes or to crash your beach party. You took your fully-charged phone and put on some music. You took off your shoes and walked to warm water, ankle-deep. You danced with your eyes closed and enjoyed the sun on your face.

\- You know, this is exactly how every other horror movie begins. Tom stated jokingly. You responded with a loud chuckle. Yes, you knew those movies all too well.  
\- Yeah… Let’s see… a cannibalistic tribe? you suggested.  
\- Crocodiles? Sharks or piranhas? Tom added.  
\- A flesh-eating plant? you tried to come up with something more “out there”.  
\- Getting bitten by an insect and starting a zombie apocalypse…  
\- Oh… that was good one! That one will be quite hard to top… Let me think for a moment. A psycho fisherman who… is the main supplier of fish and occasional human-meat in the restaurant…  
\- Ha-ha! …and they were never heard from again…  
\- Exactly! Give up?  
\- Never! A psycho boyfriend… he said, ran to you, lifted you in his arms and carried you deeper into the water. You laughed and exclaimed  
\- Hey, such a cliché, there's no way you'll win with THAT plot! Maybe the girlfriend is the psy-  
He threw you into the water. The water was pretty shallow but there was enough depth to get you completely soaked. You stood up, water up to your waist, and wiped the wet hair off your face. Tom was standing right in front of you.  
\- Maybe it is not a horror movie after all. he said and leaned closer.  
\- What is it then? you asked. Your voice was trembling and you were not sure if you dared to look at him.  
\- The most clichéd ending scene of an old Bond-movie…  
\- Oh… the one with the Bond-girl and the hero alone on an island… I think I’ve seen that one… But then there will be another movie with another girl in the pic-  
\- Never…  
\- Sometimes they even change the actor who plays Bond...   
\- Not this time, love.   
\- Hm... you said and pursed your lips.   
\- So you’re saying that you’re the hero and I am only your damsel in distress?  
\- No… You are neither a damsel nor in distress, but you are mine.  
\- Yours forever…  
\- Until a tsunami-wave or some other kind of disaster-movie-cliché do us part…  
\- You’re terrible Hiddleston! Besides... Nature tried and failed! You lose! you laughed and pushed him backwards playfully so he fell into the water. You splashed as you escaped the crime-scene. It did not take long for Tom to catch you and grab you by your waist. When he did, he held you tightly against him and kissed your neck. Your skin tasted salty but as much as he loved the curve of your neck, he wanted to kiss your lips and wanted you to kiss his. He loosened his grip a bit which allowed you to turn to face him. He pulled you closer to the shore and then sat down on the sandy seabed. You sat on his lap facing him with your knees in the soft sand.

His hands moved on your back and caressed the curve of it, sometimes getting lower on your butt and thighs. You caressed his shoulders and traced the muscles with your fingertips. The water was only up to your waist and the gentle waves rocked you subtly against Tom who kept looking at you with such loving spark in his eyes. He slid his hands your cheeks and brushed the hair that was glued to your face behind your ears. Then he guided you closer to kiss him. He sank his fingers into your hair and pulled you closer. His lips tasted salty from the seawater.  
You moved your hips against his lap as the kiss grew hungrier. He pulled your hair sometimes a bit to move the angle so he was able to find new ways to kiss you. Each and every one of them exciting in their own way. You encouraged your mind and brushed his lower lip with your tongue which was instantly met with his tongue that conquered yours effortlessly. French kissing had not been your favorite before, but with Tom it was heaven, especially when you knew how skillful his tongue was. You could not help your mind drifting away to the night before the departure and you were pretty sure that he was thinking about the same thing, at least he was getting aroused and you could feel him through the fabric of his swimming shorts and your bikini-panties.  
\- Holy shit, love! he panted and nibbled your lower lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I will end this chapter here because... well first of all... I want to go and see Conjuring 2 now :D and the other reason is that I will have a smut-warning for the next chapter... So the next chapter does not do anything for the plot... so... if you do not want to read smut... then skip the next one :D


	21. The waves and the jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay... Had some troubles to get this chapter going... I hope I did succeed in the end.  
> So smut-warning. If you do not want to read smut, skip this chapter. Nothing to lose in plot-wise.

You smirked and looked around. There were no other people around but there was a real chance that someone sailed around the foreland. You after all had no idea how popular picnic beach it was. The thought terrified and excited you at the same time.   
\- I think it’s safe to say that we’re alone… Tom said when he noticed you looking at the surroundings.  
\- What is going on in that fascinating mind of yours? he asked. You mumbled “just this” and attacked his lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your chest against his. Your skin was sparkling with small drops of water and the sun lotion illuminated the golden tan. That made you feel quite attractive which made you feel quite bold, endearing. You caressed his jaw and slowly slid your hand on his chest and massaged the muscles, then you continued your journey lower until you reached the edge of his swimming shorts. You lifted yourself up a bit so you were able to move your hand on his manhood and rub it through the fabric.  
Tom groaned against your mouth. It was almost impossible for him to concentrate on the kissing, especially when you slowly opened the knot and loosened the waistband of the shorts. You slid your hand under the fabric and wrapped your hand around his semi-hardened length. You engaged his lips into a heated kiss as you caressed him with a pace that was almost tortuously slow. 

When he had gotten hard you removed your hand, lowered yourself back onto his lap and arched your back seductively as you rocked your hips against his lap and his hard member. Tom kissed your neck, kept you close with his other arm wrapped around your waist and let his other hand trace the neckline of your bikini. First he touched your breast through the fabric, massaged it and finally pulled the fabric away exposing your breast for him to touch as he pleased.  
He reached to kiss your collarbones and lifted you up slightly so he was able to kiss your nipple. His used his tongue and teeth as he planted hot, openmouthed kisses all over your exposed breast. He panted as you moved your hips against him with growing pace. His member rubbed you through the fabric and added to the attention he was providing to your breasts, this made you moan silently as you tried to keep quiet, just in case someone decided to intrude your private beach party.  
\- I don’t think I will be able to take this much longer, love. he panted against your breast. You chuckled a sultry “mmm” as a response. You kept going, grinding yourself against him with circular motion, despite Tom begged you to stop, but there was nothing he could had done to stop you. You were in control and he enjoyed it. The only thing that bothered him was the feeling of him being selfish and using you for his personal pleasure, although you did not see it in quite black-and-white –manner. Finally after slowly driving him over the edge, he let out a loud moan that he muffled by pressing his mouth against your neck. He was panting, his lips trembling against your skin. Then he spoke, after his breathing had calmed down   
\- The way you move…  
\- Me? It’s only the waves… you whispered as you ran your fingertips on his cheeks and jaw.  
\- Waves, eh? In that case we should find out what the waves can do for you.  
\- Ha-ha! I think you have to catch me first. you stated and suddenly stood up.  
\- You cheeky monkey! he exclaimed and got up to catch you. You squealed and laughed as you ran in the shallow water. You liked secretly being chased, it filled your stomach with butterflies and got your heart racing so fast that it was about to burst. You turned to look back and bent down to splash some water at Tom in the knee-deep water. You had a pretty good headway but when you reached a sand-shoal the fine sand escaped under your feet making you lose your balance and fall down on your butt. Fortunately the sand was soft and there were no sharp stones to hurt you. You laughed, completely unable to get on with the escaping-from-Tom –mission.

He wrapped his arm around you when he knelt down and crawled on all fours over you.  
\- How unfortunate for you to trip over like that. he stated with a look on his face that made you shiver from anticipation. He looked at you like you had been a prey and he was the predator, there was no escaping from him now.  
\- … and how fortunate for me. he continued. He looked around quickly and after making sure that there was no one there he shifted himself a bit so he had better access to caress you. His arm was under your head as he was laying on his side next to you. The sand-bank was quite steep so your upper chest was above water and since Tom was supporting your head, even the waves could not reach to your face. The rest of your body, from breasts down, was more and less under water.  
\- Are you comfortable? he asked softly. You smiled and reached to kiss him. He however had a different plan.  
\- What I really want to do, I cannot do here…  
\- Oh?  
\- Why don’t you ask me what is it what I want to do… he suggested. He knew exactly how turned on he was able to make you by describing his wildest fantasies to you. He loved the way your cheeks turned red and how your face sometimes went serious and you had to swallow or bite your lower lip. He loved the way you concentrated on his voice, how the look in your eyes changed from shy to hungry and how your chest started to heave faster… all because of his voice, his carefully selected words, oh he loved to turn your rational brain into gray mush with words.  
\- I think you… you will probably… tell me anyway… you stammered.  
\- You are probably right. Hm… But I still want to hear you asking for it…  
\- Right… So, what do you want?  
\- I want to lay you on the softest mattress, undress you slowly and cherish every inch of you as I expose them for me to caress. I want to blindfold you so you will not be able to see or predict my next move. I am sure you would enjoy it and I would enjoy seeing you trying to figure out my plan without seeing. You should only use your sense of taste… he said and kissed your lips briefly.  
\- … your sense of hearing… he continued and spoke softly into your ear with his lips brushing your earlobe.  
\- … your sense of smell… he said as he moved to kiss your neck and breathed in the scent of your hair.  
\- … and of course, your sense of touch… or more like… me… touching you. he said and ran his fingers softly on the skin between your breasts, all the way down on your stomach and then slowly returning to trace your collarbones.  
\- You do remember what I said about the bedpost, don’t you, love? he drew back and as you opened your eyes he stared deep into them.  
\- There are no bedposts here. you commented with shaky, low voice.  
\- No… That is a very sharp observation, love. he chuckled in return. You laughed but your laughter was cut short when he said  
\- Shall I continue or would you just rather laugh? he asked. You stopped laughing and held your breath, you were almost embarrassed of how much power he had over you. If he had told you to jump, you would had asked “how high?” but you trusted him. You knew it in your bones that he would never hurt you or ask you to do anything that you were not ready to do.  
\- Good… Now… I will kiss your neck, nibble your earlobe and then run my tongue slowly down the same path where my fingers just trailed. I will kiss you all the way up to your breast and brush it so softly that you would not know whether you are only imagining things. You would arch your back and offer yourself to me but no… I would not give it to you that easily.

His fingers traced the neckline of your bikini, consciously ignoring any sensitive areas of your breasts. You breathed in and out in a calm way as you waited patiently him to continue.  
\- Then finally my fingers that have been caressing your thighs will touch you and find you quite aroused already. I will kiss, lick, suck and nibble your breast as my fingers drive you insane of need, pushing you on the edge but never over it. You will moan my name and tell me to give it to you, but I will not listen to you, just like you did not listen to me earlier.  
You shifted your legs a little. It was getting almost painful to listen to what he would do without him actually doing anything else than just tracing your skin with his fingertips, keeping on the modest side at all times. You were hoping that by moving your thighs a bit in a very subtle, unnoticeable way you could create at least a small amount of friction between your legs. The excitement was getting even more unbearable by every second and every word.  
\- Patience, love. he said with a mischievous tone and placed his hand between your thighs, so close to the fabric of your bikini panties, but still too far to provide any kind of pressure or touch. He massaged the muscles of your upper inner thigh and occasionally his thumb brushed the fabric briefly, almost accidentally.   
\- I will abandon your delicious breasts and continue kissing you lower until I need to spread your legs to go any further. At this point you know exactly what I am going to do to you and the anticipation is killing you, just like it is almost killing you right now. Oh, it is obvious. he said and stroked you through the fabric. You opened your legs unintentionally and lifted your hips to gain more intensity. This time your wish was granted to you which made you close your eyes as a loud moan escaped your lips.  
\- Shush, love. I would love to hear you moan but I do not want to draw attention… you never know if the fisherman comes back early.  
He continued caressing you through the fabric and then slid his hand under the bikini. You felt his fingers feeling your state of arousal without searching the most sensitive areas. When he finally paid attention to those areas, you really had to bit your lip to remind yourself not to make loud noises. The last thing you wanted to do was to read about your private moment from the tabloids the next day. Tom noticed your struggle and muffled your moans with a devouring kiss. His tongue entered your mouth and dominated yours as his fingers continued caressing you just the right way. He stopped when he saw that you were about to come. You begged him not to stop, but you were answered with a mischievous chuckle.

\- After driving you insane with need and hunger for me, love, and seeing you getting satisfied with my fingers, I will continue with my tongue, enjoying every bit of you until you will be begging me to fill you up. I will slide my finger inside and after a moment I will add another. Do you think you could take a third one? Should we try? he said and slid one finger inside. You arched your back again and moved your hips to gain some friction against his thumb that stroked you teasingly.  
\- Should we? he asked again.  
\- Yes. you exclaimed and grabbed a fistful of sand in order to gain some support but the sand slipped through your fingers and offered you no anchor to reality whatsoever. You felt him pulling his finger out and then pressing two fingers on your entrance. They slid in easily and after thrusting, massaging and crooking his fingers inside you he pulled them out and rubbed your most sensitive area as he leaned down to kiss you.  
You felt his fingers on your entrance again. This time he was moving with slow pace but your mind was clouded by the heated kiss. He took his time and slowly filled you up with his three long fingers. He gave you some time to get used to them and then started to caress you once more as his fingers worked on you. This time he did not stop. He quickened his actions and drew back to watch you gasping for air and struggling to keep quiet.  
\- On the other hand, love… I do want to hear you. he whispered and slowed down for a moment. Then he started again, leaned down to kiss your nipple as you arched your back and so keenly offered it to him. You felt the orgasm getting closer by every kiss, thrust and caress.  
\- Come for me, love. he mumbled against your skin and with that you felt the massive wave of pleasure washing over you and wrapping you into a soft haze. Your core was shaking and it was impossible to keep quiet. When your breathing calmed down, Tom returned to kiss your lips and wrapped his both arms around you.  
\- You are so beautiful, love.  
\- I want you… here, now… you managed to say.  
\- Here? What if someone… he chuckled.  
\- Yes, here. Your ass has its own hashtag… People have seen your butt already…  
\- What happened to “slow and gentle” in the comfort and privacy of ones bed? Do you really want me to take you to the jungle, press you against a hard rock… or a tree… and then… give it to you hard and wild?  
\- Could be fun… Spontaneous… Unless of course… you do not want me… spontaneously… hard and wild.  
\- Oh I want you… Right now… he said got up. He pulled you up and after taking a quick swim, removing the sand from your swimwear you walked hand in hand to the beach. You both took a good look at the surroundings before walking into the forest.

\- So… you began and leaned onto a tree trunk. It scratched your back so you stepped back from it and said “ouch”. Tom walked to you, took your hand and pulled you into his arms. He kissed you slowly and intimately, the situation needed some reheating. He opened your bikini and pulled the top part away, while he kept kissing you and his lips never left yours. Your hand trailed from his shoulders onto his stomach and onto his swimming shorts. You slid your hand under the fabric on the backside and felt the famous hashtagged butt. You felt the soft skin, the muscles, the curves and pulled him closer.  
You walked backwards as he pushed you and soon there was a smooth, warm rock behind you. Tom pressed his body against you and locked you between him and the rock. He grabbed your leg and raised it against his hips. You had no chance but to hold him tighter because the rock did not offer too much support. You however to managed to pull his swimming shorts down and they slid down to his ankles.  
Then suddenly as he stepped out from the shorts he turned you around and kissed your shoulder from behind. You felt his teeth and tongue on your neck and his other hand caressing your breasts and the other hand moving down and this time sliding under the bikini immediately. You were quite sensitive from the previous caresses so it did not take long for him to get you aroused again. He pulled your bikini panties down and helped you to step out from them before continuing.  
His fingers rubbed you and as he bent his knees a bit to take a long lick on your spine, which sent shivers all over your body, he pressed two fingers inside. You grinded your ass against him and felt him getting hard again.   
\- Now if you bend down for me, love… he murmured into your ear as he removed his fingers. You sighed for the lack of contact but did as he said. You bent down and supported yourself on the rock. His hands caressed your sides and back as he rubbed his length against your butt. He grabbed his member and rubbed it teasingly against your entrance, sometimes rubbing the most sensitive are with the tip.

His other arm was wrapped around your waist and you felt his chest touching your back as he leaned closer to kiss your neck as he entered you. This time he slammed himself all the way. The feeling was intense, almost too much to take all of a sudden. He stayed still, kissing your neck, his other hand wrapped around your waist and the other tracing your jaw and lips since he was currently unable to kiss them.  
\- Everything alright, love? he asked.  
\- Yeah… you can start moving now. you said and bent your head backwards as you bit your lip. He pulled almost completely out and then slammed himself back all the way in. He continued doing that and moved his hand to caress you while his other hand cupped your breast. His touch was almost rough but it was just the right amount of rough. You held onto the rock as he pounded himself into you and pushed you closer to the peak again. His fingers teased and caressed you so skillfully and his other hand caressed your nipple making you moan and turning your breath into shallow, sharp gasps.  
Nothing else existed in the world, nothing but you and him. Then suddenly he pulled out and turned you around. He pushed you to lean against the rock, to sit on the edge of it and guided you to wrap your legs around his waist.  
\- I want to see your gorgeous face, love. he mumbled and kissed you. He entered you slowly and grinded himself into you with that circular motion that he knew to provide friction in the right places.  
\- Holy shit, you feel good. he panted against your mouth. You chuckled and mumbled “don’t stop” in return. You felt the orgasm building inside of you until it could not anymore. You tried to hold onto the last shreds of your sanity but there was no way you could had fought against it. It took a massive amount of trust for you to let go and usually guys had lost their interest on getting you satisfied before you had been able to relax enough and surrender to the breakdown. It had left you frustrated up to the point which had made you to question your own capability to enjoy sex and feel desired or feel desire for someone.   
Tom however did not stop. He did not get frustrated, tired or lose interest. He cared and wanted you to experience something magnificent as well. You could feel it in his touch no matter how sweet or intense, it was always there and it was the reason why you were able to let go.  
\- Just let yourself go, love. he murmured into your ear as your body trebled in his arms. He kept grinding himself against you until he reached his orgasm. He muffled his moans against your neck and bit the spot that he knew to be very sensitive, gently as the result. Every grind rubbed you the right way and made you shake slightly until he pressed his forehead against yours and pulled out. You stared into his eyes from the close distance and a smile appeared on your face. Tom smiled at you and pressed a soft kiss on your swollen lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to all who have had the stamina to stay with me and this story all this way.
> 
> Thank you :)  
> As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated and comments will be rewarded with chapter dedications... (which reminds me that I still have 2 dedications = 2 chapters to write today... so I'd better get on with it.)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	22. Taking you out on a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go out with Tom, dinner and dancing.

You took a quick swim before getting something to eat. You got your swimming goggles and dived around as you tried to find a seashell. Tom got his goggles as well. He looked funny with them but he thought the same about you. Unfortunately all the seashells you managed to find were occupied ones and you did not want to kill a living sea-creature for your own superficial wish to find one. Tom swam to you and wrapped his arms around you. The sun was getting lower already but you had been so busy with everything else that you had all your foods still unopened. You pressed your cheek against his chest and smiled as you stared into the horizon.  
Tom brushed your wet hair and listened to your calm breathing. The water was very warm but slowly it started to feel cool. It was cooler than your own temperature anyway and it was time to go and dry out on the sand, or on the blanket that you had brought with you.

\- I would die for an ice cream! you exclaimed and took a bite of an orange.  
\- What would you say if I took you for a dinner tonight? he asked.  
\- Dinner?  
\- Dinner and dancing…  
\- Like a date?  
\- Yes… Exactly like a date. he answered and ran his fingers on your arm. He was planning to take you somewhere else than the restaurant in the hotels neighbor, somewhere fancy. He knew that there most likely would be someone who recognized him and possibly ratted out to the tabloids but he did not care. You deserved a night out somewhere nice, you deserved to get dressed up and being treated as a queen.  
You both ate and had a lively conversation about casual topics. You took a small nap and woke up when Tom woke you up. He had recoiled from his daydreams as he had heard a sound of a motorboat getting closer. The sun was quite low already so the arrival of the fisherman was to be expected.  
Tom helped you to gather everything and then you walked to the stones and hopped onboard. The fisherman did not speak much, he tried to ask if you and Tom had enjoyed your time on the beach but it was quite obvious that you had, according to the wide smiles that you both had on your faces. You sat in the front and leaned onto Tom as the boat slowly sailed through narrow waterways and finally arrived to the harbor where the villa-owner was waiting. You tipped the fisherman and thanked him for the ride before getting into the car and taking the ride back to the hotel.  
You went to the room to take a shower and Tom stayed downstairs talking with the villa-owner. He was asking about fancy restaurants and lively clubs as well as the schedule for tomorrow; it was the day when you finally were able to settle down and this time, hopefully, there would not be any reason that you should change the accommodation before departing. You had been talking about traveling a bit in the neighboring regions since you were already on that side of the planet, but you had both agreed that you wanted to have a “home base” where to return.  
Or maybe you would like to just lay on the beach and enjoy the life by the sea, watching the stars and having barbeques with good music and lots of dancing. Yes… dancing. You knew how much Tom loved to dance. You did too, very much, and you were quite good at it, at least you were able to have the rhythm in your blood and lose yourself into the music. You had never danced with Tom, well, only that tiny bit on the beach but that had been mainly stepping from side to another and moving your shoulders with the beat. The other thing that you loved very much was to sing and you usually sang to yourself when you were alone as you played the melodies with your fingers, like you had had piano keys in front of you in the air.

You had taken your phone to the bathroom and were currently listening to your favorite playlist. You sang to yourself and then got dressed to a dressing robe. When you came out from the bathroom, you noticed Tom laying on the bed, reading a brochure about the nightlife on the island of Ko Samui.  
\- You sing beautifully. he commented.  
\- You… heard?  
\- Yes and if you do not mind me saying, I think it is a crime that you are hiding these things from me.  
\- Hiding? I have not been… hiding… you laughed and threw a pillow at him. You did not manage to stand up straight when Tom grabbed your hand and pulled you to lay on the bed partially on top of him. He rolled you against the bed quickly and kissed you. He stroked your hair and breathed in your scent. He was so close that you could feel him smiling against your mouth.  
\- Are you… happy? you dared to ask after a long silence.  
\- Yes, extremely. he answered and pressed a soft kiss on your lips. Then he drew back and got out from the bed.  
\- I will take a shower. Get ready in the meantime, I will take you dancing. he said and disappeared to the bathroom. You chuckled and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Then you opened your bag, found the new summer dress that you had bought for the trip after turning the whole luggage inside out. You applied a generous amount of tan-enhancing after sun lotion on your skin, it made you skin glow with golden shine. After your skin had dried, you put on the dress, sprayed some salt-spray in your hair and put only a little bit make up on your face. You used only colors that highlighted your tan and eye color. You did not apply any lipstick because you were going for a dinner anyway… oh well… just a little bit. You spread the lipstick with your finger until it was even and gave soft glow.  
Tom came out from shower. He stopped when he saw you.  
\- Oh wow… he said and swallowed.  
\- You… you don’t like it? you asked and went through in your mind all the clothes that you had packed.  
\- No… I mean… You look absolutely stunning!  
\- Do you really think so?  
\- Do-I? Do I really… (Y/N), you must know by now that I find you irresistibly beautiful but you keep finding new ways to amaze me.  
\- What, you did not believe I could wear a dress? you teased with a slight blush on your face.  
\- Well, you certainly can! he exclaimed and mumbled something about not having anything charming to wear and being able to match you.  
\- Tom, you look handsome in anything, you should not worry about that.  
\- Thank you, love, but I want to match you. I want us to look like a couple… a real couple. I don’t want to be that guy who managed to get a dashing girlfriend without putting any effort himself.  
\- Alright-alright… fair enough. you chuckled. He got dressed in black, light pants and a white-collar-shirt. He rolled his sleeves halfway up and opened 3 buttons from the top. He looked elegant but still casual.

Tom had asked the hotel owner to arrange a ride for you two and it was waiting, as agreed, on the street in front of the hotel. He escorted you to the car and opened the door for you. The driver took a look of you and commented to Tom when he sat next to you on the backseat  
\- Every man on this island is jealous of you, mister.  
Tom squeezed your hand and replied  
\- Yes, I am well aware of that. he pressed your hand on his lips and kissed your knuckles.  
You arrived to a fancy restaurant where the hotel owner had booked a table for you. There was a live band playing soft jazz and the place was decorated with candles and flowers. The menu looked good; there were many local dishes but also some global favorites such as steak with baked potato and salad. You both ordered local –styled appetizers and steaks for main course. You ordered slightly different plates so you were able to taste different things. Then for dessert you ordered a slice of cheesecake and Tom ordered some vanilla ice cream with puree made of exotic fruits.  
Tom ordered you a fresh-tasting drink and a beer for himself while waiting for the appetizers to arrive. He also ordered a bottle of wine to go with the steaks. He placed his hand on yours and looked into your eyes with a boyish smile. You blushed and thanked for the dim lights in your head then you crossed your fingers with his and smiled widely. Then the waitress brought the appetizers. You had grilled shrimp and chicken in a wooden stick and Tom had lettuce wraps with vegetable filling. You had two kebab-like sticks so you gave other to him and he gave you the other lettuce roll. The waitress gave you a look; it was a fancy restaurant and sharing food from a plate to another was… uncommon, but hey, what can you do if your boyfriend gets jealous of your dish and asks to share?

Then the steaks arrived. You had ordered the steak with mushroom sauce and home-style potato wedges and Tom had wanted to go “oriental” and ordered the steak with fried rice. Your wedges had too much salt in them which reminded you of one certain fish and chips –meal a half a year ago. You laughed silently.  
\- What is it? Tom asked. He took his fork and stole one potato wedge from your plate.  
\- I wouldn’t… you managed to say but it was too late. The look on his face changed immediately. He chewed a couple of times and then swallowed. It was clear that he was holding his laughter as well.  
\- It seems that we may travel the world and still end up with overly salty potatoes. he commented.  
\- Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste…  
\- That is not a matter of personal taste… he commented and stole another potato from your plate.  
\- He clearly likes them! you chuckled. He washed the salty taste off his mouth with a long gulp of beer, then his pint was empty.

The mushroom sauce was lacking salt so it compensated the saltiness of the potatoes up to the point that the dish was actually very enjoyable. Tom enjoyed his fried rice as well as the steak and both of your desserts were amazing. You kept drinking the wine since your date kept filling your glass before it was even empty. In total you emptied together 2 bottles of wine and a couple of drinks. It was midnight when the restaurant closed and you had to leave, more like move to the next place, which you found right across the street.  
It was a night club that was currently almost empty. Tom led you straight to the dance floor and went to the bar himself. The club was playing sultry deephouse and the drinks had gone to your head, in a nice way. Your feet felt light as you danced, Tom followed your moves from the bar. He was ordering you both water because you had decided not to drink anymore, just to avoid the terrible hangover.

Your dance moves suited the music perfectly. They were playing Anjunadeep 07 album with a loud tone until the playlist changed. You recognized 3 first songs, they were same kind of deephouse that surrounded your mind with the beat and took over your body. The first song they played was Gabriel and Dresdens Unplugged remix of I Need You by Dave Gahan, the next one was Gabriel and Dresdens remix of Replay the Night by 68 Beats and the third one you recognized was Paul Van Dyk’s remix of L’esperanza by Sven Väht, which was an old song. That particular remix had been released over 15 years ago, but still it made you feel like you had been floating a few inches above the floor. You sank your fingers into your hair and bit your lip as you threw your head back with your eyes closed. The sight of you owning the otherwise-empty dance floor made Toms heart skip a beat or two. You looked divine in the flashing lights, swaying sensuously to the music like it had been pure energy or liquid electricity that had been flowing through you.  
The playlist changed again and the style changed into something more mainstream. Tom joined you on the dance floor and man he could move! You got back on the ground and danced with him until the bar closed. It was a slow night so they were closing at 2 AM already. Before closing they played a couple of slow songs, one of them was the ambient remix of Walking on Fire by Evolution featuring Jayn Hanna. You knew the lyrics that were fascinatingly mystical and sang them into his ear softly, like it had been a spell to lure him under your rule. He stared into your eyes as you weaved your webs in his mind.

It was time to get back to the hotel. You walked hand in hand through the silent, empty streets of the town and sang together songs that you both knew. When you got to the hotel, you washed quickly your face and fell into bed. Tom did the same and snuggled closer to you in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been dedicated to darkshadows as a thank you for your comment. Much appreciated :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> \- Venla :)
> 
> Ps. I used some of my favorite songs for this chapter, I hope none of you mind :D


	23. The first disagreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Tom finally get to go to the villa, however the evening is less rosy.

You woke up with a small headache. You heard a loud banging coming from the door and stumbled out from the bed to check it out. It was the villa-owner who wanted to let you know that you were now able to change the location. You agreed with the man that you would be ready to check out in one hour. It was late afternoon and apparently the owner had been knocking at the door many times before.  
You hit every piece of furniture on your way to the bathroom. You set a timer to 45 minutes and started to gather your things, to pack them back in the bag. Tom was still sleeping and you did not dare to wake him up. You packed his things too and woke him up when the alarm went off.  
\- Tom… you said and shook him gently. He rolled on his stomach and mumbled something. You shook him again and told him that he really had to wake up now. He did not respond. You went to the minibar that had an icebox. You were lucky enough to find a couple of small pieces of ice. You pulled the blanket away and ran the ice from his lower back up to his neck.  
He jumped awake when the ice reached the end of his spine. You started to laugh.  
\- I… am… sorry! But you did not wake up! you laughed and ran your fingers through his hair.  
\- Why do you need me to wake up? he asked and rubbed his forehead. You took a water bottle out from the fridge and gave it to him with a painkiller.  
\- Because, my dear Tom, it is time for us to leave this… dodgy… hotel room and go to the villa.  
\- What the time is it, love? he asked after he had taken the painkiller and emptied the bottle.  
\- Almost 4 PM.  
\- What! We were supposed to checkout at noon! he exclaimed, mumbled something about packing and rushed out from the bed.  
\- Relax! I packed.  
\- You did? My stuff as well?  
\- Yeah, of course. I am a bit “tired” as well so if you’ll be so kind and check quickly the bathroom and the drawers and so on, just to make sure that I have not forgotten anything. you said and air-quoted the word “tired” with your fingers. What you meant was that you also were having a small hangover.  
Tom walked to you and chuckled. He kissed your forehead and then checked the room. You had managed to pack everything and you were ready to go. The villa-owner helped you with the bags and drove you to the villa, the new one.  
It was very similar to the previous one, but there were islands in front of the shore, blocking the winds that blew from the sea. The owner showed Tom how everything worked and then left. You walked in the garden and stared into the horizon. You had liked the view to the open sea but knowing that this location was not as exposed to the storms gave you peace of mind, some at least.

You sat down on the sun bed and closed your eyes. You heard footsteps approaching and then someone sitting on the edge of the sun bed. It was Tom of course, who else.  
\- Tired? he asked.  
You smiled with your eyes closed and shook your head, however a yawn escaped your lips. Tom laughed and commented “as if”.  
\- Okay, maybe a little. you answered. It had been almost 6 AM when you had finally reached your hotel. On your way there you had sat down many times and actually gone to see the fishermen leaving the harbor, besides your high-heels had started to hurt your feet and you had asked for many breaks from walking, which Tom had been happy to grant you. He had offered to carry you but you had declined the offer; you had insisted on putting on the high-heels, you had to be adult enough to suffer the consequences.  
The sun was getting lower already and it was time to prepare some dinner. The owner had bought some ingredients for you; eggs, flour, water, chicken, cheese and vegetables plus some other stuff too. You decided to make an oven omelet because you knew a recipe that was tasty but very easy.  
-Water two, flours two, eggs two and two. Add salt… mix it together… you mumbled. Tom walked behind you and hugged you. He rested his chin on your shoulder and followed you whisking the batter.  
\- What are you doing? he asked.  
\- I am making an omelet.   
\- I see… so water two? Two of… what?  
\- Deciliters.   
\- Oh…   
\- Yep. Can you please set the table?  
\- Sure. he said and planted a brief kiss on your neck. You got the batter mixed. You poured it on the baking tray that you had covered with baking paper. Then you put it in the oven and started to fry the chicken with the vegetables. When the chicken was ready and the omelet was fried solid, you put the filling on the omelet, scattered some grated cheese and rolled the omelet. Then you put the roll back into the oven and took it out when the cheese had melted.  
You lifted the roll to a preheated ceramic pan and carried it to the table. Tom was lifting the sun beds under the terrace roof because it sounded like there was going to be a thunderstorm later. You walked to the doorway and breathed in the sea air as you followed Tom making the terrace ready for the possible storm, they after all were very common in the warm climate. You jumped a little when there was a flash, it was a bright white crack in the dark sky and it illuminated everything for a blink of an eye. Tom noticed the change in your facial expression. He put the sun bed pillow down and walked to you. You went in and faked a smile.

\- I am so sorry, you know. he said and looked at you with a sad look on his face.  
\- What are you talking about? you asked.  
\- I shouldn’t had left you alone in the storm.  
\- Come on, Tom. You did not know that the storm was going to get that bad. Besides… I like storms. Back home I always cursed when the storm skipped my neighborhood… Now I have experienced a real storm-  
\- You don’t have to do that.  
\- What?  
\- Make me feel better by trying to turn it around like that.  
\- I am not.   
\- But… he began but you interrupted him instantly  
\- It’s okay. It’s fine… It’s cool. You shouldn’t feel guilty for anything. Come on!  
\- It is not… We have not talked about it. You must have been so scared-  
\- No I was not.  
That was a lie.  
\- Come, the food is getting cold. you said and walked to the table. You sat down and watched Tom staring out from the window. The wind was getting stronger and soon it started to rain heavily. You cut yourself a piece of the roll and then sighed as you started to cut it on your plate. You put your knife and fork on the plate and stared at the table.  
\- Tell me about it. Please. Tom said and sat down right opposite you. You took a sip from your water and unintentionally pursed up your lips. It was obvious that you did not want to talk about it. However you reasoned that if you gave him a half-assed answer, emphasized that you were safe all the time, it might give Tom some kind of peace of mind.  
\- Well… I woke up, it was raining and dark… I think I have never ever experienced darkness like that… you said and shook yourself out from your thoughts. This was not heading to the direction that you had planned it to.  
\- Darkness? he asked.  
\- Yeah… the power was off. Anyway… I got out from the bed, went to see what was going on, the window shattered because the tree had fallen on the roof of the terrace. Then I sat down and watched the storm until the skies cleared and the moon came out. Then I went outside. It was nothing.  
\- I still feel I shouldn’t had left you alone. You must have thought that I am such a terrible perso-  
\- Never!   
\- Really?  
\- Yeah… Well of course not! When I saw the trees that had fallen in the garden I knew that there had to be a reason why you had not come back. I was just hoping that you were alright. you answered and took his hand that was on the table.  
\- Hm… he commented.  
\- What is that? What does that mean? you asked.  
\- What?  
\- That “Hm”.  
\- I’m sorry, but it seems that you take these things so lightly. The accident, the storm… Two shocking events in your life and I have never seen you… dealing with them.  
\- Right… Can we just eat before it gets cold? you asked. The truth was that you did not want to breakdown in front of him. You were not ready to do that yet. In your opinion crying was something very intimate. You never did that when you were not alone. You kept those feelings to yourself and dealt with them in your own privacy. Yes, it was hard but crying while someone watched made you feel weak and got you afraid that what if the person took off and left when you showed that kind of weakness; that part of you that you did not let anyone to see.  
\- Fine. he said and started eating. Neither of you said anything and the silence was depressing. You listened to the storm and fought the tears.

After the dinner you collected the plates away, put the rest of the roll into the fridge and wiped the table. You kept getting spooked every time when the lightning stroke. You pressed your nails against your palms to keep your fears from taking a physical form and pouring out from your eyes. The physical pain made it easier to keep yourself cool, in control.  
\- I can see you’re not fine. Tom stated. You washed your hands and turned to face him. You crossed your arms and leaned to the sink.  
\- I don’t understand what you want from me! you exclaimed.  
\- I want you to be honest with me! he exclaimed in return. You rolled your eyes and walked past him into the living room. You leaned to the wall and stared out to the sea.  
\- You never let me see you when you’re vulnerable. I have never seen you c-  
\- Crying? Well I am so sorry, but I cannot cry on request. you scoffed.  
\- I can see that you are about to burst into tears any minute now but instead of letting me to comfort you, you’re pushing me away.  
\- Maybe I am not ready to do that yet. you commented.  
\- So you rather push me away? Tell me, why are you in this relationship with me if you’re unable to share your worries as well as your fears with me.  
\- Fears? I have non-  
\- You’re lying!   
\- Fine! But I do not understand men! Some of you find crying disgusting, see it as a method of mental blackmailing… You on the other hand want me to cry! So how am I supposed to know which one is it?  
\- I am not “men”! I am a man… a man that loves you very deeply! I want you to share everything with me. Not just the happy moment but also the sad ones, equally. Just like I expect you to share my sorrows and joys with me. What’s the point of this otherwise?  
A silence followed. You looked away and crossed your arms again. He had a point, but it was too early to show the fragile side of you, wasn’t it? Tom stared at you. He looked disappointed. He looked like he had been assuming your relationship to be deeper and now he had bitterly realized that it had not been that deep after all, that you were not ready to let him close. Despite everything he had done for you.  
\- Maybe it’s better that I’ll sleep on the sofa. you stated with a blank look on your face and with a cold, emotionless tone.  
\- I can-  
\- No… You’re paying for this fun. You’ll get the bed.

After that you turned your back on Tom and stared into the darkness that enveloped the surrounding world. You heard Tom getting a shower and then getting into the bedroom. You pressed your forehead against the cold glass and started to cry. You muffled your cries with your palm and you felt like you had wanted to disappear into the raging storm, go out with a scream and then just fade into nothingness. You were afraid that this was actually it; the end of your relationship because you had managed to offend Tom so badly that there was no turning back. Who would had known that the holiday which was supposed to bring you closer together would tear you apart during the first days.  
You took a shower and washed your teeth. Then you dressed your pajama, turned off the lights and sat on the sofa. For a moment you just sat there and then finally you lifted your feet up and lay down. The tears kept pouring out from your eyes as you sobbed silently. You had never felt this bad. Not even when you had thought that the curvy brunette had replaced you in Toms life. It had stung, sure, but you knew that it had not been up to you, unlike now. Now the situation was completely your fault. You were the one who was unable to be honest and let him close… Even now, after all he had done.  
An hour passed, but the tears still kept falling on your cheeks. You kept rolling from your side to another, on your back and then finally found a comforting position, curled into a ball on your side, facing the room. Suddenly there was a sound of door opening. Footsteps getting closer, the ceiling lamp was turned on. You wiped quickly the tears off your cheeks and closed your eyes. You heard the footsteps stopping in front of the sofa.  
Tom squatted in front of you. He had been thinking, unable to fall asleep without you next to him. He had cursed himself for being so black-and-white with you. He still hoped from the bottom of his heart that you were able to let him comfort you but if the moment was not here yet, he should not push you away because it was not helping. It was only making things worse.

\- Come to bed. he said with a soft tone and caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers.  
\- Please. I cannot stand the thought of you here alone… again. Facing the storm… alone… again. he mumbled. You opened your eyes and saw that his eyes were just as red as yours. You burst into tears and sat up. Tom sat beside you and wrapped his arms around you. He listened to you crying helplessly against his bare chest and held you tightly against him even when you were shaking almost violently. Then slowly you calmed down.  
\- Oh, love… let’s go to bed. he whispered and kissed your forehead. You were still unable to say anything so you nodded as a response. You stood up and followed Tom into the bedroom. You lay down and listened to the rain that kept pouring down from the clouds. It was dark and the room was only occasionally lighted up with the random flashes. The thunder was getting further away already and you started to feel sleepy.  
You were laying on your back, Tom on his side next to you, brushing your hair in the most calming way.  
\- May I kiss you goodnight? he asked, his tone was almost shy which made your heart ache. You had given him a reason to think that he did not have that right anymore; that he, of all people, had to ask.  
\- Silly Tom… You do not have to ask. you answered. Your voice was still weak from crying but you felt lighter. You felt him shifting himself a bit. His hand searched yours and locked your fingers with his as he gently pressed it against the pillow. His nose touched yours, his warm breath on your cheek and on your lips right before his lips landed on yours. First he did not dare to move much, but then he encouraged his mind when you parted your lips slightly. Finally he pressed his lips against yours firmly and explored them like it had been the first time. You wrapped your arm behind his back and pulled him closer. Then he left your lips and buried his face into your neck. He breathed in the scent of your hair and kissed you under your ear. You laughed a little when he managed to find a spot that was ticklish. Tom chuckled and smiled relieved against your skin. Then he pulled back, kissed your lips once more and pulled you into his arms to sleep. You drifted away with the sound of Toms breathing and the raindrops. Then everything faded and you were deep asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Catalina as a thank-you for your comment at the "one shots chapter 11".
> 
> I hope you like this one :) I know it was slightly gloomy but... At least there was a bit of fluff in the end.
> 
> I am off to bed now :D It's getting late here ;D Woops!  
> \- Venla :)


	24. Two sides of the situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the reader was trying to get some sleep on the sofa, Tom did not get any sleep either. He replayed the disagreement over and over in his head... Now that the reader is asleep, he goes through those thoughts and ends up having nightmares.

Tom however did not fall asleep immediately. His mind kept going over and over the fight that you had been having with him. He was somewhat terrified of just how easily the situation has escalated up to a point that you had felt that it was better for both of you if you slept in the different room, which meant that you had wanted some distance from him.  
It had offended, no, hurt him. He did not get offended that easily, because getting offended had usually something to do with ones ego and ones lack of ability to take criticism. Tom however had no ego that would be larger than life and he had no problem with criticism, so no, he had not been offended but hurt, rather deeply so. He had been hurt because you had made him feel like he was asking too much from you when he just wanted to be there for you. He had been hurt because you had not taken the whole thing seriously. The thing was that when you did not take things seriously, he felt like you did not care about what losing you would do to him. That made him feel that you did not understand the depth of his heart and how much you meant to him. It seemed to him that for you he was just a bit of fun, nothing too serious. He had been disappointed at first and almost regretted taking the entire holiday with you. For one moment he had looked at you and thought that it was no surprise why you had never met someone if you treated the one that was ready and willing to do anything for you with such coldness.

He had taken the shower feeling annoyed and almost angry but when he had lay down and turned off the lights he had started to see the other side of things. He had played the fight, or disagreement, in his head as he had stared into the darkness and then he had started to cry. He had realized that this was one of those moments where a person really could do damage and push the other away, even to a distance that is beyond repair and out of his reach.  
He kept thinking about the look on your face. First he had thought that you had looked quite blank, emotionless, cold even, but as he stared into the darkness he realized that there was so much hidden behind your cool exterior and the clues were all there, he just had not known how to look. It was in the small details; in the way you turned your head or avoided his gaze, in the way you got frustrated when he asked something and as a result tried to come up with a somewhat diplomatic answer. The clues were in the way you crossed your arms or in the way you cut your body language to minimal. It was in the wrinkles on your face, or in the lack of them; usually when you looked at Tom there were small lines in the corners of your eyes. It was the way you smiled, you smiled with your eyes and not only with your mouth. But when you were sad or tired there were no wrinkles because there was no smile either. Those times your face looked like it had been frozen in time, timeless and beautiful but still sad and tired. It differed from the serene, calm look that you had usually when you were deep in your thoughts or looking at the skies. That look was timeless and beautiful, but there was no undertone of being unreachable. You always looked hopeful, you had that spark in your eyes, always, except when you were out of reach. He realized it now and cursed himself for not realizing it earlier.

He had realized that he was after all able to read you more than you thought. While replaying the disagreement he had noticed that you did not have to furrow your brows or create deep horizontal wrinkles on your forehead to show sadness. He did not need to hear you saying the words or even see you crying because your style of presenting grief and hurt was more subtle. Maybe crying openly was a big thing for you. Maybe crying was the point where the situation was beyond repair. You held yourself up until you could not do it anymore. Pushing you to the dark area of “not anymore” was a cruel thing to do, well, at this point at least, when you were still getting used to being together.  
When he kept thinking about that he felt his eyes filling with tears. He had been worried that maybe you were angry at him for pushing you so far, stepping on your personal space and demanding more than you were ready and able to give at this moment. Maybe it had nothing to do with the depth or seriousness of your feelings for him. Maybe he should had tried to keep in mind that you were your own person, different from him and the truth was that he did not know you that well. Yet, at least.  
He was worried that he was taking things too fast and making you to cross your personal boundaries faster that you were willing to. He had come back less than 3 weeks ago and within that time you had transferred your relationship with him from friendship into something deeper. He had started to think what people usually accomplished in 3 weeks of dating; nothing really. He had managed to hear that you loved him, he had been able to steal you away, far away from your daily lives just to have you for himself and most likely you had crossed many of your thresholds for him already.

He had kept thinking how much he had missed you while he had been away. How scared he had been that when he came back to London, he would find you with someone else or maybe… maybe he would find you physically available, still single that was, but mentally “moved on”; over him. He had reminded himself how lucky he had been when he had been able to embrace you, to kiss you, call you his and make you smile and how you had not even believed the tabloids that had declared that he was basically dating someone else, his new assistant, but that was the small detail that tabloids had been happy to leave out. Just to cause scandals and boost sales.  
During the darkest hour he had thought, while laying in the bed alone, how he might had ruined it all when he had asked, read between the lines; “what’s the point of being in this relationship if you’re not ready to give all of you to me with a certain deadline which, by the way, just got reached?” He knew that he had a point, his side of the story, which was his desire to take care of you and provide you the shoulder that you could always cry on, and he was right and had the right to want that. But there was also your side of the story; “maybe I am not ready to do that yet”. You had not said “do that ever” but “do that yet”. “Yet” after all meant “not now but soon” but he had lacked the patience to see the beauty of that word, the small detail that changed everything. The bottom line was that you had the right to have the level of privacy that you were comfortable with, you were equally right.

He had cursed that he had let the situation get so bad, it was the reason why he had come to talk to you; he did not want to let the gap between you two to grow any wider. He had cursed himself for trying to be a knight in the shining armor when you had not needed him to be it. Then again he had seen that you had been on the verge of crying and stubbornly hanging onto “I am fine”, which was, in a way, a lie. You had lied to him and that had made him sad, frustrated and angry even. It still did make him sad but it was strange how the perspective changed when he took some time to think about everything from each angle; how there suddenly was a completely new, unexplored world of your side of situation. You had a reason why you had not cried, maybe you had gotten hurt before, maybe you had built a defensive wall around yourself for a reason. Now he had tried to break the gate and force himself in when more sensible strategy would had been to give you time.

You however had broken down when you had seen him, seen how torn apart he had been. Now he held you in his arms as you slept and he kept reminding himself of that moment when you had broken down. Was it really what he had wanted? Had he gained anything with it? Well, time would tell because he was unable to say for certain if this was a one-time-only or were you now able to let him close in the future too. What if you kept even the subtle details hidden from now on? What if you started to pay more attention to those small details and keep the smile on even during the times when you were breaking from the inside? He hoped that he was just over-thinking it and worried for nothing.  
With these thoughts Tom fell asleep. He had horrible nightmares where he lost you over and over again. He kept sleeping restlessly, being unable to wake up or solve any of the reasons why he kept losing you. You woke up when you heard him speaking in his sleep. You put on the light and touched his cheek. He was breathing in an erratic way and he looked troubled, on the verge of starting to cry, maybe he had actually been crying in his sleep already. You tried to wake him up but he did not. It made you feel helpless and deeply worried of what terrors he might be facing in his sleep. Maybe he had been equally shocked about the disagreement, maybe even more than you had even thought possible.

It was true, you were emotionally reserved and Tom was not. He wanted all of you and you understood it now as you watched your loved one struggling in his sleep and you were unable to wake him up and make it alright. A state of panic was settling in as it found cracks in your spirit like water found a way to sink a leaking ship. You attempted to shake the panic away, there was no room for it now, but it was not leaving you entirely. You kissed Toms forehead and called his name as you caressed his cheek. Suddenly he opened his eyes and he was awake. He stared at you, not quite sure if he was awake or not and clearly afraid of something.  
\- Hey… Tom… you were having a nightmare.  
\- What?  
\- Yeah… but you’re awake now. you assured him as you stared into his eyes.  
\- Am I, really? he asked. His eyes filled with tears and he sat up. You sat up as well and wrapped your arms around him, pressed his head gently against your shoulder and stroked his hair.  
\- Would you please tell me about it? you whispered. You needed to know. There was no way you could had taken a “no” as an answer. It would hurt if he told you that he was fine… yeah, go figure.  
\- I just lost you so many times… he mumbled against your neck. You sighed and felt your eyes fill up with tears, like you had not been crying enough for one day already, but hearing him saying those words with that particular tone was too much because you knew that you were the one to blame, partially at least, for his nightmare.  
\- Shush… Just a dream… Only a nightmare, Tom. I am right here… I am not going anywhere. You know that, right? you asked and pressed a kiss on the top of his head. You felt him shake a bit and heard him cry very silently.  
\- I understand it now. What you must have felt, because I felt it too. It is a terrible thing, to be shut out, when it’s clear that you’re needed. I am not going to do it again, I will not shut you out. Okay? you asked with a tone that was almost inaudible. Luckily the rain had stopped already, otherwise Tom most likely would had been unable to hear your promise. You felt him pressing a soft kiss on your neck. You smiled and wiped the tears off your cheeks.  
\- Good. you whispered and reached to turn off the lamp that was on the table next to the table. Then you lay down and unlike usually, you took Tom into your arms, whispered “I love you… so much” into his ear and brushed his hair until you were sure that he had fallen asleep. You kept running your fingers through his hair until it was impossible for you to stay awake and although you had decided to stay awake and guard his sleep for a change, it did not take long that your eyelids started to weight tons and you had to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was not boring or very hard to read. It is almost 4:30 AM here and I should go and get some sleep... So... this chapter has been written with very tired brain and lacking a capability to form short, understandable sentences.
> 
> Thank you Catalina for ideas, much needed, much appreciated!
> 
> Good night!  
> \- Venla :)


	25. He can play that game too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out that your villa has a pool... so you decide that you will have a pool party in the evening.

You woke up before Tom. He was sleeping peacefully in your arms and for that you were glad about. The sun was already high up and as far as you could see out from the large window, it was going to be a warm, beautiful day. You decided to leave the bed because you wanted to prepare breakfast so it would be ready by the time your darling boyfriend woke up.  
\- Where do you think you’re going? Tom mumbled when you were carefully removing your arms as you had been holding him.  
\- Breakfast…  
\- Can wait, love. he mumbled and wrapped his arms around you. You had no other option than to lay back down and bury your head back in the soft pillows. Tom lifted himself and stared into your eyes.  
\- I am sorry for making you cry last night. he said and examined your response. You sighed and smiled briefly.   
\- I understand your point. Crying for me… it’s quite private thing. It’s not that I did not want to let you close, because I do… Sometimes I cry in order to get it off my chest, you know, and sometimes I cry because I am just so… emotionally done. I can take a lot of things, I might be able to listen someone screaming at me without even blinking and even try to find a solution but it all gets bottled up.  
\- I see…  
\- Well, imagine a champagne-bottle. You fill it up little by little, put the cork on and start to shake the bottle. At some point the pressure will become too great and that’s when I’ll cry.  
\- Does it help?  
\- Sometimes… no, usually. It depends.  
\- Did it help last night?  
\- It did… I have to admit that crying against your shoulder helped much more than crying to the pillow.  
\- I am happy to hear that. And… if I remember correctly, I think you promised not to shut me out anymore.  
\- I did.  
\- Do you regret that promise?  
\- No. you said with no hesitation. Your mind was clear as the weather outside.  
\- But I still apologize. I shouldn’t had pushed you like that. You are entitled to have some privacy, you know.  
\- Some?  
\- Yes… some. he answered with a firm tone and pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. You smiled and tried to catch his lips but he kept drawing them back just as you were about to engage them into a kiss. You let out a frustrated sigh and shook your head.  
\- You are being cruel and therefore I will leave this bed. you stated playfully.  
\- You wouldn’t dare. he answered and to prove his point he lifted his hands up and rolled on his side so as you were laying next to him, you were completely free to leave.  
\- Watch me. you said and rolled sneakily further away from him and managed to get out from the bed.  
\- Oh you… Tom groaned jokingly and got out from the bed as well. You squealed and closed the door so he could not leave the room.   
\- Open this door! he ordered playfully. You replied with a loud mischievous laughter that was the most clichéd “evil-laughter” ever. Tom noticed that there was a door into the garden. He went out and walked barefoot by the pool to get to the terrace where the door that led into the living room was. He knew that he had not locked it after him, therefore it most likely was open.  
You listened to the silence and after a moment you decided to take a peek. You noticed the long white curtains dancing in the wind and just as you realized that there was a door behind those curtains, you felt Tom grabbing you from behind and lifting you up into his arms. You were expecting him to carry back to the bed but instead of doing that, he carried you outside and threw you into the swimming pool that was next to the terrace.

You returned to the surface and splashed water at Tom. He laughed at you and after removing his pajama-pants he jumped into the pool as well. He dived to you and appeared to the surface right in front of you.  
\- Was this fun-huh? Was it? you asked and laughed.  
\- Yes…  
\- I did not know that we have a pool…  
\- Apparently we do. So… what do you want to do today, love?  
\- Swim… Let’s check out our private beach… Sunbathe… barbecue?   
\- Sounds good… how about a pool party?  
\- Music, food… and you and me. I would not say no to that!  
\- I think I saw a scooter in the garage, make a list and I will go to the town to shop for things.  
The look on your face changed serious. You couldn’t help thinking what had happened the previous time when he had said that he’ll go to get supplies and returns in few hours.  
\- I will come back. he said to you and emphasized the word “will”. You turned your head slightly and looked at the sky. The weather was perfect; there were no clouds on the sky and even the wind had died. You inhaled deeply.  
\- Hey, I promise you. Tom said, put his hand under your chin and guided you to face him. You smiled and nodded.  
\- Yeah sure, of course. I will enjoy the sun in the meantime.  
He looked at you and tried to figure out if this was one of those “I’m fine” –moments but this time you were being honest. He wrapped his arms around you and slid his hand under your pajama-top. He caressed your back and leaned in to kiss you. This time he captured your lips in an intense kiss. You wrapped your legs around his hips and ran your fingers through his wet hair that were getting curled slightly. He moved to kiss your neck, which he devoured with an open mouth. You felt his tongue massaging your skin and his teeth gently nibbling the area which he knew to be very sensitive to touch. You responded with sighs and moans just like he had predicted. He kept you tightly against his body but since the water carried you, he moved one hand that had been wrapped around your back on your side, still keeping it under the fabric of your pajama-top. He moved the hand to caress your chest and then returned to kiss your lips. He lifted you to sit on the edge of the pool and stood between your legs. His hands massaged your thighs as you were slightly bent down to kiss him.  
\- Tonight, love…  
\- What happens tonight?  
\- You, me… bedpost…  
\- Oh? you sighed and groaned out of frustration when he suddenly pulled back and swam further away. He got out from the pool and winked his eye at you. It took a moment for you to gather your thoughts. Your pajama-top and shorts were glued against your body and you decided to take the wet clothes off to hang them out to dry. You glanced around and when you were sure that there were no intruders, you got up and slipped the top over your head and removed the shorts as well. Then you walked to the living room and stopped to watch Tom as he was preparing lunch, or more like brunch.

He saw you leaning onto the kitchen counter and even though it was not the first time he saw you naked, he couldn’t help getting mesmerized by the feminine curves and your messy wet hair, although now you were wearing your panties, but the sight was still very… tempting. You noticed that he was looking and winked your eye at him. Then you got your sun lotion and returned to the dining area to spread the lotion. You rubbed it slowly to your arms and sometimes raised your head to see if Tom was watching. He was trying to mind his own business but his eyes kept finding you.  
You pulled a chair out and lifted your leg on it as you massaged the lotion with slow, round, long strokes. When you were done with first leg, you did the same with the other and chuckled to yourself when you heard Tom cursing when he burned the first set of toasts. You turned around and started to rub the lotion on your stomach and chest, you heard Tom washing his hands.  
\- Need help? he asked and kissed your neck from behind. It sent shivers down your spine but you kept your cool and handed the bottle over. He poured the lotion on his hands and rubbed them together before beginning. You leaned against his chest and wrapped your arms behind his neck. You heard him swallowing because he clearly liked the scenery. He started to spread the lotion with moves that were similar to yours, only slower. You closed your eyes and breathed in deeply as his hands got you sun-protected. He did not miss a spot and the attention that he granted to your breasts made you bite your lip and let out a teasingly delicious moan.  
\- Okay, love… Now the back. Tom said with shaky voice. You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck again as soon as he had managed to reapply lotion on his hands. He spread the lotion on your back slowly and gently, focusing on some muscles that felt tensed up.  
\- Oh I will take care of these tensions tonight. he mumbled. He knew how to play this game too. When he was done, he pressed a kiss on your lips and you went to put your bikini on. Then you returned to the kitchen and sat by the table. Tom had reheated the rest of the omelet-roll and fried a few toasts, now that he was undisturbed and did not burn them, and sliced some fruits. He gave you a piece of paper as well as a pen. Then you both figured out what was needed as you ate brunch sitting side by side this time and not opposite from each other like yesterday evening.

After eating Tom took the scooter and left to get supplies. You took your goggles and snorkel and headed to the beach. You managed to find a couple of beautiful seashells and one of them had a small hole. You remembered that you had a piece of leather string in your bag and went to get it. You had brought a couple of those strings just in case you found some treasures to be turned into necklaces. You hanged the seashell from the string and decided to give it to Tom when he came back. However you did not want him to see it by an accident so you hid it under the mattress that covered the sun bed.  
You returned to swim after finding an inflatable swimming mattress and filling it up with air. You floated on the gentle waves and enjoyed the sun. After a couple of hours you heard a scooter driving to the front yard and someone walking onto the beach. You opened your eyes and smiled as you saw Tom standing on the sand. He waited until he had made sure that you had noticed him coming back, as promised and after you had raised your hand as a hello, he went inside.  
You swam to the shore and helped him to set the grill up. You also found small candle-lanterns and hung them to the terrace. Then you remembered the seashell and got it from the place you had hidden it, walked to Tom and smiled with your hand behind your back. He looked at you with a curious smile on his face.  
\- Give me your hand. you said softly and when he did, you placed yours on it, the hand that you had been hiding. You removed the hand from his, leaving the seashell on his palm. He looked amazed and then took the seashell into closer inspection.  
\- Did you find this today? he asked. You answered “yep” with a smile.  
\- For me?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Oh, love! It is beautiful. Thank you! Tom said and put the necklace on. The white, smooth surface glowed against his tanned chest. He pulled you into his arms. After he let you go you started to help him prepare vegetable-kebabs for the grill. By the time the sun had set you were ready. There was music, the grill was on and you had lighted the candles.  
You watched Tom dancing a little as he worked the grill. You got the plates and set the table outside, you had put everything that you needed on the dining table and then carried the plates, glasses and so on from the dining table onto the table that was on the terrace until the dining table was empty. Tom went in to get you both cold drinks. When he came back he told you that he had forgotten the ice but the grill needed his attention  
\- Could you get the ice from kitchen, love?  
\- Sure! you said and went in with the glasses. You walked past the dining table to the freezer, took the ice out and put some of them to the glasses. When you were about to return back to the terrace, you noticed a small gift bag on the table. It had not been there before, you were completely sure of that. You put the ice-filled glasses on the table and opened the gift bag. You drew out two long, silky scarves and a blindfold –thing. There was also a small bottle of high quality massage oil. You opened the bottle and smelled the oil. It had a mild, but very lovely scent.  
The first thought on your head was “oh shit”. Tom had left the bag for you to find, it was obvious. You put the bottle, the scarves and the blindfold –thing back into the bag, walked to the terrace, filled the glasses with drink and took the glass to your boyfriend who was turning the chicken-cutlets. 

\- So... he said and he was clearly waiting for some response from you. You had been teasing him this morning and now it was his payback-time. You sipped your drink to avoid the need to give a comment.  
\- I trust you found the bag…  
You swallowed your drink and nodded.  
\- Any thoughts?  
You were seriously drawing a blank. You were completely unable to say anything.  
\- Uhm…  
\- Listen, love, relax… I am not going to make you do anything you do no-  
\- I am looking forward to it. you managed to say with a blush on your face and sipped your drink again. Tom shifted his gaze down to the grill and soon asked you to bring him the plate. The food was ready.  
You ate accompanied with a lively conversation. You both joked and laughed a lot. Suddenly it was late and the sky was filled with stars. You walked to the beach and stared up. Tom walked behind you and wrapped his hands around you.  
\- Dance with me. he whispered into your ear. You turned around and gave him your hand. He led you, sometimes spinning you under his arm and sometimes pulling him into his embrace. The grill had been turned off and most of the candles had burned out as well. The soft darkness surrounded you as you danced on the beach, completely unaware that the music had also stopped a while ago. He stopped and pulled you into his arms, brushed a runaway lock of your hair behind your ear and then kissed you. Softly at first. His lips brushed yours as gently as a feather but after a countless amount of that kind of featherlike kisses he finally deepened the kiss making your head spin and air to run out. He cupped your face with his strong, large hands and asked  
\- Shall we take this party inside?  
You bit your lip and sighed  
\- Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been dedicated to Mariam as a thank you for the comment(s) for earlier chapters.  
> I hope you like it!
> 
> Additional shout out to all of you who have left kudos and comments, I also want to thank everyone for reading this story. I hope you have enjoyed it so far.
> 
> \- Venla :)


	26. Tie him up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, as the title says, I will now give a serious smut-warning... because you will surprise Tom with his own "toys".
> 
> Uhm... Nothing to see here in plot-wise, so if you rather NOT read smut, skip this and the next chapter as well.
> 
> The rest of you... I apologize if this is not written well, I kind of acknowledge that I lack smut-writing-skills... or maybe I'm just too critical, I don't know.
> 
> Thanks for the request. I hope this was okay :D

Tom took your hand and led you inside the villa, in to the dining room. He wanted to see your reaction to the different things he had gotten. Not suspicious at all separately; massage oil, sure, tensed muscles had to be taken care of, blindfold, maybe he could not sleep well in light, that’s normal and then finally, scarves for the girlfriend. But when put together and added to the things he had told he would do to you, you could not help blushing. He took the massage oil out from the bag. You smiled slightly. He asked you to give your hand to him. You walked closer and extended it for him to take. He poured a couple of drops on your palm and pressed the center of it with his thumb as he held your hand in his. The motion was very relaxing and trust-building. You knew already that he was gentle, therefore there was nothing to be afraid of. Besides, it was not like you had not dreamed about something like that before, because you had. Oh man, you had but because your love life had been mostly very unsatisfying, there had never been any guy precious enough to make your fantasies to reality.  
You had never dared yet alone wanted to ask anyone to tie you up because you had never felt that any of the guys you had gone out with should had had the privilege to take control over you and you had never trusted anyone enough. No one had cared enough. But Tom did and the way he even talked about it made your heart beat faster.

\- With this massage oil I am going to take care of all the tensions that you might have so you will be able to relax entirely.  
\- Does that mean that I’m going to get a back massage?  
\- Yes, among many other things… he said and kept rubbing your palm calmly. You smiled and imagined his fingers massaging your feet and then slowly getting higher until… Your daydreaming was cut short when he let go of your hand and said  
\- Oh then these, love. he said and pulled the scarves out from the bag.  
\- Two scarves… you have an excellent taste by the way… When you’re done with them… I could actually wear them. you stated.  
\- Love, I am looking forward to see you wearing these… only these… gently around your wrists as your back arches and you lose all knowledge of how to breathe or stay still.  
“Oh fuck, he did it again” you thought and blushed. Luckily the lighting was dim and forgiving. He put the scarves on the table and then took the blindfold out.  
\- So… can you imagine the soft darkness, where only your other senses rule? Where you will not be able to see what I am about to do, but you have to submerge yourself into the feeling and get even more turned on as your always-so-rational mind tries to figure out what I am going to do.  
\- How about we stop talking about it and see what you’ve got in your sleeves, Mr. Hiddleston. Maybe you’re only an expert of talking about it but when it actually comes to the point of taking actions… you might chicken out. you teased. He flashed a mischievous grin at you and for a moment, the cute Tom had left the building and something dark that had inspired his take on Loki had taken place.

You both took a shower to remove any bits of sand from your skin. You had been sitting, dancing and running on the beach for a couple of hours and you did not want to get sand in the bed. You went to the shower first and left the door unlocked. Tom joined you soon, after he had closed the curtains in the bedroom, put on some candles and tied the scarves to the bedpost so they were ready for you. He had hidden the blindfold under a pillow and placed the massage oil on the small table that was next to the bed.  
Then he joined you in the shower where you took time to connect on the mental level. You joked and he also did his share to keep the atmosphere light and playful. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed your cheek against his chest. He ran his fingers through your wet hair and guided you to kiss him. He turned the water off and led you out from the shower to the terrace where the light breeze dried your hair and bodies quickly. You encouraged your mind and took his hand. Then you led him into the bed room and smiled mischievously to yourself. You had been cooking a plan of your own since you had seen the bag. It had been just a crazy thought in the back of your head at first but then as you had kept thinking about it, you had decided that you would actually go for it. Tom took your silent moment as a sign of hesitation.

\- Is this too much? he asked with slightly apologetic voice. The last thing he wanted was to scare you or push you away. What he wanted was to do the opposite.  
\- No… But… In order to do this… to trust you this much… I want you to trust me that much at first. you said and smiled. Tom looked at you with a curious spark in his eyes.  
\- What do you have in mind, love?  
\- If you can trust me that way… I will do the same. So… Are you in or out? you asked and then flashed a charming smile.  
\- Definitely in… and hopefully inside you at some point tonight. he chuckled with a deliciously teasing tone. You however were not going to tolerate teasing for him yet. You chuckled and pushed him on the bed. He crawled backwards until his head was against the pillows. You crawled on your all fours on him and leaned down to kiss him. You were careful not to touch him otherwise than with your lips. He placed his hands on your waist since you had not tied them up yet. He assumed that you were not going to after all but he was wrong.  
As much as you loved to feel his hands on your body, you had a point to prove and no time to waste. First you grabbed his hands and pushed them against the pillow. You stared deep into Toms eyes knowing that he could had easily rolled you against the mattress. He after all was much stronger and bigger built than you were. He however let you keep his hands locked against the pillow and keep them there as you leaned down to kiss him again. You shifted yourself so you were sitting on his hips.  
\- Keep your hands right… there. you whispered and after getting a nod from him you slid your hands from his wrists on his arms and massaged the muscles gently. You ran your fingers on his chest and abs before sliding them softly on his face. You caressed his jaw and ran your thumb on his lower lip. Then you leaned down to kiss him and shifted yourself slightly down so you accidentally rubbed his manhood as you started to move your hips and rub yourself against him. This was too much for him and he reached to caress your knees that were on the both sides of his waist.  
\- What did I say about the hands?  
\- Ehehehe! he chuckled nervously, clearly waiting for what you would do.  
\- We’ll try again. you said and took his hands and pressed them against the pillow.  
\- There. Move them once and you’ll see that I am not kidding.  
You shifted your weight so you were again able to rub yourself against him. It made him pant and moan and as he was getting lost into his desire for you, he tried to sit up and kiss you. You stopped him before he was even sitting and pressed him calmly back down.

\- Fine. I’ll make this easier to you. you said and took his hand. You pressed a soft, loving kiss on the knuckles, palm and wrist before tying the silky scarf around his wrist. Your heart was racing as you tied a small knot that was easy to slide open if it was pulled any harder. You repeated the same with the other hand and then leaned close to ask if he was comfortable. He smiled and said “yes, love”. You placed your hands on his shoulders and pressed him down so when you leaned closer to kiss him, he could not lift himself up. The thing was that you were not going to kiss him. You had planned just to tease him, make him groan and beg. Therefore it was important that he was not able to lean forward and kiss your lips when you did not mean him to.  
You brushed his nose with yours and ran your lips on his cheek just gently, barely touching. You shifted your lips just above his and this time you brushed them but only softly. Tom chuckled again and as he opened his mouth you took his lower lip into your mouth and bit it gently. He moaned and begged you to kiss him but you only nibbled his lip a couple times more before pulling back and sitting straight.

\- Open your eyes, look, while you still can. you teased and raised your hands up slowly and bent them behind your head. You moved your hips again and then slid your other hand on the other which you kept as it was. You moved from your wrist to your arm and all the way down to your armpit. Before moving any further you shifted your gaze at Tom and said  
\- Are you paying attention?  
\- Uhuh… he mumbled and bit his lip.  
\- Good… because soon you will not be able to see… you whispered and let out a chuckle.  
You traced the shape of your breast with your fingertips before touching it further. You could feel Toms eyes fixed upon you. After caressing your breast around the nipple you moved your fingers and touched the most sensitive spot of your breast. You sighed softly and moved your hips slowly against him. The movement teased him greatly but for you it was very pleasing. His slightly hardened manhood rubbed you or more like it was you who rubbed yourself against it.  
You abandoned your breast and slid your fingers lower to caress your stomach, sides and hips. You ran your both hands on your body and gave him a show. You ran your fingers on your thighs and then as you were about to touch yourself between your legs you leaned down and supported yourself with one hand as your other hand was between yourself and him.  
You allowed yourself to kiss him as you pleasured yourself. Tom tried to create friction for you by moving his hips upwards and a couple of times he even managed to hit the spot.  
\- Where is the blindfold, Tom? you asked with a sultry tone and kissed him briefly. He swallowed once and stared into your eyes.  
\- Where… Tom?  
\- Under the pillow. he stammered. You reached for the blindfold and slipped it on his forehead. Then you pulled it lower until it was right on his eyes. Then you reached to kiss him once with intensity and moved to kiss his neck so you were able to moan right into his ear. He was moving his hips and beginning to pant quite rapidly as you teased him like that for a moment.

Then you stopped. It was time to touch him. You moved to lay next to him and traced his jaw with your fingertips. You continued touching his neck and shoulders, massaging his muscles when you remembered the oil. You decided to test that on him.  
You took the bottle and poured it on his stomach. He shook a little because he had not expected you to do that. Then you started to massage his chest and with long, relaxing strokes you massaged also his both arms. You leaned to kiss him again as your hand traveled lower. You spread the oil on his hips and thighs but ignored his member completely. You brushed his sensitive flesh a couple of times and chuckled softly when he moaned against your mouth.  
It was time to add more oil and start really caressing him. You could had kept going with your explorations for much longer but he had said that he wanted to be inside you at some point, so it was time to get on with it. When your hand was covered with the oil you leaned to kiss him, this time slow, deep, seductive kisses as your hand got closer to his manhood. You touched it with your fingertips and ran them softly up and down his length. After caressing him like that you wrapped your hand around him firmly and started to move it slowly. You felt him getting harder and it did not take long for him to start panting for real.

You slowed down and waited until his breath calmed down. Then you started again. You brought him on the edge of orgasm a couple of times. He kept begging you to make him come and let him touch you, but your answer was always a sultry “shush” followed by an air-denying kiss that muffled his moans.  
He felt you move after you had abandoned his lips again. You were indeed driving him insane. Soon he felt you parting his legs as you crawled between them. He felt your lips on his, your tongue sometimes licking them and your body radiating warmth as you were soft of hovering over him. You kissed his lips once and nibbled his lower lip before moving slowly down on his neck. He felt your tongue on his skin, right under his ear and suddenly your teeth gently nibbling his earlobe.  
\- Ehehehe… he chuckled as he felt you sliding your tongue down on his chest. He felt your hands caressing his sides as you got closer to his hardness. His hardened flesh brushed your skin as you got lower. The mental image of your beautiful breasts against his manhood was making his tip glisten as a drop of precum appeared on the skin. He gulped when you caressed his thighs and then took him into your hand again.  
The touch of your tongue made him gasp for air. Your tongue moved slowly from the base all the way to the tip where you stopped to massage the sensitive spot. You felt the veins of his member getting more defined as his state of arousal continued to rise. It was time to suck him and let him feel how eager your mouth was for him.  
Tom felt you kissing the tip and then sliding his manhood into your mouth.

\- Holy shit, love! he moaned when you took him into your mouth. You started to move your hand and suck him as you moved your head up and down, a little bit lower each time as you relaxed. He tasted salty but you were not going to let him come. Not yet, not into your mouth this time.  
You stopped when he was panting too much for your liking and moved up so his member was pulled out from the hot, wet depths of your throat. You returned to sit on his lap with your both knees against the mattress, on the both sides of his hips. His hard flesh was right in front of you and although you had not been getting any stimulation between your legs for a while, you knew that you were wet enough to take him in.  
He felt you shifting again and suddenly he realized what you were about to do. He begged you to stop so he could caress you before the penetration but your only reply was the familiar  
\- Shush… followed by a delicious moan as you rubbed his tip against your most sensitive areas before starting to lower yourself onto him.  
\- Just enjoy, darling. you continued and aligned him to your entrance.  
He moaned as he entered you. You were tight, hot and wet around his hard member and although he had been inside you a couple of times before, this time it was more intense because you had not been made ready for him. You kept lowering yourself lower slowly, stretching around him. You had to stop many times because he was too big for you to allow yourself down instantly. It was on the verge of being painful but seeing Tom panting and hearing him moaning your name and how good your felt, was enough to turn the pain into pleasure.  
Finally he was completely inside you. You took a moment to caress his pectoral muscles before starting to move. You leaned to kiss his lips and caressed his face with featherlike brushes.  
\- How would you like me to move? you whispered.  
\- Anyway it feels best for you, love. he said and nibbled your lip as he managed to raise himself slightly and attack your lips.  
\- Very well. you said and returned to sit straight. He felt him getting deeper and then you started to move your hips. You grinded yourself against him which provided friction to the most sensitive spots but you did not want to come yet. Oh no. If you came now, you would be too sensitive to be able to take whatever Tom had planned for you.  
He felt you changing the style, now you were moving up and down on his length with increasing pace. He felt his orgasm getting near and begged you to continue. You raised yourself so his flesh was almost completely out and then lowered yourself on him quickly. It was enough to push him over the edge. You kept moving until he had given you every drop of him and he was nothing but a pile of hot, panting mess under you.  
You leaned down to kiss you and took off the blindfold.  
\- Holy shit, love! he mumbled and asked you to release his hands so he could finally do all those things that he had promised to you to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will continue with the same topic... So... if you decided to read this and got mentally scarred... then maybe the next chapter isn't for you either, my dear mentally-scarred reader.
> 
> I am sorry :D


	27. Tie you up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all.  
> Smut.  
> Yes.

You moved to sit on the bed and lay down next to Tom as he was waiting for his breathing to calm down.  
\- Well… he began and turned his head so he could see the look on your face. You stared at the ceiling with a smile on your face.  
\- So… you mumbled and bit your lip. You had been so focused on him that you had not noticed how tired you had become. Now that you were laying comfortably against the soft pillow and the cool blanket, you felt your body relaxing and your mind drifting away.  
\- Do you think you’re now ready to trust me as I trusted you? he asked. You turned your head so you were able to see his expressions. His eyes were practically glowing and he looked extremely happy. You lifted your hand to caress his jaw but the tiredness was really kicking in. It was getting late and your eyelids were turning into weights that weighted at least a ton each.  
\- I am… but in the morning, dearest Tom. you whispered and smiled wearily as your eyes closed against your will.  
\- I’m sorry… I think I’m going to… fall… asleep. you mumbled.  
\- Don’t worry, love, I prefer the morning light to the dim candle lights anyway. he whispered, pulled the light blanket on both of you and snuggled closer to you. You rolled on your side in your sleep and muttered something as a reply, but Tom was unable to recognize any words from it. He wrapped his arm around you and spooned you the entire night.

This time Tom woke up before you. He kissed your shoulder and neck as his fingers traced the cool skin of your arm. He kept whispering sweet nothings into your ear until he remembered that you had not been granted a release last night. In his opinion that was a great injustice that had to be corrected immediately. Well as soon as you woke up, that was.  
“It was good that we did not do this last night. I would had been just a sloppy lover if we had” he thought silently in his head. You breathed calmly and since you were not showing signs of waking up, Tom decided to take a quick dip in the sea. He found a towel and opened the bedroom door that led in to the garden. The weather was cooler than yesterday and the sky was gray from clouds. “Perfect day to stay in bed” he thought as he walked into the sea. He swam for a moment and then returned on the dry land.  
After drying himself he got back to the bedroom. You had turned on your stomach and your face was buried in the pillow with your hair covering the rest of it. Tom chuckled and tilted his head as he imagined how your skin shivered under his touch and how he was the lucky one to be able to make you feel like the center of the universe. For him you were exactly that.  
Tom was hungry. He decided that he would serve you breakfast in bed and then after you both had been refueled he would start and slowly drive you insane with need. Yes, it was his plan. He liked it. “It’s a good plan” he thought and left the room.  
You opened your eyes when you heard noises coming from the kitchen. You were about to leave the bed when you saw Tom walking in and telling you not to move. He was carrying a tray with toast and fruit slices and put it on the bed. He got the orange juice from the fridge and came into the bedroom. You were sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow. The sight was so adorable that he had to stop for a moment and take a mental picture of you.  
\- Morning. you said and breathed in the scent of the pillow. It was Toms so it smelled of him. Dear Tom.  
\- Good morning, did you sleep well? he asked and pressed a kiss on your forehead. He crawled to sit next to you and took away the pillow that you were hugging.  
\- That’s mean! I was hugging it! you mumbled and grinned at him.  
\- It’s breakfast time, love. You need to eat, last night was quite exhausting for you.  
You burst into laughter as you got a memory flash of you, sitting on him, feeling the stretch burning your walls deliciously.  
\- Yeah… I’m sorry I fell asleep.  
\- Don’t worry, love. It is a rainy day. We can stay the whole day in bed. What do you say?  
\- Yeah, I suppose we can. Besides, we’re on a secret runaway-slash-holiday.  
\- Exactly, love. So eat now. he said and handed you a slice of an exotic fruit that you had never tasted before.  
After eating you freshened up a little in the bathroom and then returned into the bedroom. It had started to rain a little. Tom was standing at the door that led into the garden. He was not wearing anything, however he looked magnificent with and without clothes. You walked to stand next to him and peeked out. The horizon was wrapped into a gray drape which was getting closer all the time.

\- How about that massage? you whispered and walked seductively to the bed. You crawled to lay in the middle of it on your stomach and put your hands under your head. Soon you heard Tom walking to the small table, taking the bottle and then rubbing his hands together. You felt the mattress shift when he came on the bed. He sat right under your butt so whenever he moved his flesh brushed your ass-cheeks and reminded you of the things to come.  
His touch was exciting and soft but as he worked your tensed muscles he added intensity just to get those tensions released. He massaged your neck, shoulders, sides, you spine all the way down to the curve of your back. He used his thumbs to massage the spots that always got sore from sitting and then shifted himself to sit lower as he started to massage the muscles of your butt and upper thighs. He took the bottle again and poured a little oil on the curve of your ass so some of it disappeared between the butt-cheeks.  
Tom pressed his hand on your lower back and stroked you a couple of times between your legs. You shook a little his fingers gave you a little taste of what was to be expected later. The oily finger slipped in very easily although you were not even aroused yet. He thrust it in a couple of times and then returned to massage your thighs.

Then he told you to turn. You turned to lay on your back and he pulled you to sit. He took your hand and massaged arm muscles all the way to your wrist. Then he went through your each finger, taking his time and using a generous amount of oil. He massaged your palm with round movements. You followed him mesmerized and were deeply flattered of the dedication he had for you. You breathed in and out slowly and let your head fall back as you closed your eyes. You were not tired but his touch was just so relaxing that you could not help but enjoy like that.  
Tom moved to massage your other arm and finally went through the fingers and the palm, just like he had done with the first hand. When he was ready, he pushed you back to lay down and poured some oil on your chest. It felt exiting as the drops rolled from your chest to your stomach. He put his hand on your stomach and massaged your waist, slowly getting higher. He skipped your breasts and massaged only the skin between them and your upper chest. When he was done with the rest of your torso, he finally reapplied oil on his palm, rubbed his hands together and started to massage your breasts. He kept avoiding your nipples because his touch was not meant to be erotic, yet, however he kept “accidentally” brushing them which caused you to either bite your lip, sign or chuckle.

The next he massaged your feet, starting from the toes, continuing with the soles and slowly getting higher. He used a generous amount of time on your calves before focusing on the thighs. He got higher and as he got closer to your most private parts his touch changed a little less therapeutic and shifted more on the sensual side.  
It was time that he tied your hands and blindfolded you. He did the same as you had done to him; kissed the knuckles, palm and wrist before wrapping the silky scarf around the wrist and tying the knot. When he was done with both of your hands, he leaned close and asked if you were comfortable. You smiled and sighed “yeah”. He kissed your lips gently and then slipped the blindfold on your forehead and lower to cover your eyes. One thing was sure; whatever happened from now on, you were sure that you were going to enjoy it.

\- So… all mine. you heard Tom chuckling into your ear. Cute Tom was gone and the “Loki-side” of him had entered the building. He lowered to kiss you, his lips tasted of danger and passion. He graced your lips with his tongue and lured you to open your mouth for him. When you did, you were rewarded with a heated kiss that included his tongue which dominated yours and made your rational thoughts getting all tangled and messed up until you were unable to form complete sentences even in your head.  
His hands caressed your skin softly and moved closer to your breasts. This time he provided much needed attention to your nipples although the attention was mostly teasing. Suddenly he disappeared from your darkness. You heard him walking out from the bedroom and soon returning. He returned to lay next to you, partially hovering on top of you. He leaned closer to kiss you, his lips brushed you sweetly and just as you were sure that you knew that to be the style of kissing, you felt his tongue entering your mouth and getting tangled with yours. This time however his tongue was ice cold. He touched your aroused nipple suddenly with cold fingers, which made you shiver and chuckle.  
Tom placed a small ice cube on your chest, on the skin between your breasts and let it slowly melt away. The feeling was strangely electrifying but the Goosebumps could not be avoided anyway.

\- Oh… he sighed and grinned against your mouth. He traced your lips with an ice and then kissed you hungrily afterwards so you kept getting cold and hot sensations. It made the kissing feel new and arousing because Toms lips felt always unusually hot after the ice. You panted because such intense kissing did not really leave you much room to breathe, besides on top of that you were painfully aware of his fingers getting nearer to your intimate parts. He was moving towards the area that you needed him to touch, but not fast enough, he was keeping the pace slow deliberately.  
Now finally he caressed your inner thighs and accidentally brushed your folds with his thumb. He stroked your lower lips slowly without adding any pressure. You buckled your hips just to gain some contact but instead of giving you what you wanted, Tom just pulled his fingers further away, keeping still close, unfortunately yet too far.  
He engaged your lips into a devouring kiss once more and drew your mind away from his fingers. He lifted his leg on yours and locked your knee sneakily against the mattress which granted him a better access and prevented you from creating much needed friction in your most sensitive areas. Suddenly he slid one long finger inside.  
-Love… he murmured as he felt just how aroused you were. He thrust the finger deep and pulled it out a couple of times, just so see how you would react.  
\- Please… you moaned.  
\- Please, what?  
\- Just… Oh, please! you moaned as he slid the finger back in. He was careful not to caress any other areas.  
\- Why don’t you move for me, love. he suggested and crooked his finger slightly. The motion made you twitch just a little and then your started to move your hips to gain friction in the right places, but one finger was not quite enough to do anything more to you.  
\- You look so delicious that I will reward you and raise stakes with one more finger. Would you like that?  
\- Yes! you panted and stopped moving instantly. He pulled his finger out and slammed two inside as deep as he could. His thumb touched you accidentally and made you arch your back as you felt like you had been gotten a tiny electric shock. He crooked his fingers and started to move them inside you. You started to moan and pant as you tried to get any contact on the sensitive parts.

\- Do you think I’m cruel because I am not caressing you the right way? he asked. You could only moan “please” as he moved his two fingers in and out with twisting and turning them. The finally he started to caress you the way that really made you getting closer to an orgasm. When you were about to come, he slowed down until on the second time he finally let you come. Fortunately his knots were stronger than yours had been because the way you were shaking as you were trying to reach anything to grab onto would had surely pulled your knots open.  
\- I think I am going to taste you now. he whispered into your ear and moved his fingers slightly. The orgasm was still so near that even a slightest contact was enough to make you shake. He removed his fingers and shifted himself between your legs.  
Tom leaned closer to hover above your heaving torso and rubbed himself against you a few times. He had gotten aroused by looking at you and his semi-hard member slid against your wetness teasingly. He kissed you deeply before abandoning your lips and moving onto your neck which he licked and nibbled and then he continued lower. He traced the shape of your breasts with his tongue before moving to kiss your nipples. He nibbled them and sucked them gently. His fingers teased you at your opening without entering any further. He still had one ice cube that had not melted yet. He took it between his teeth and traced your breasts with it slowly.  
You begged him to touch you but all you got was a mischievous chuckle. Then he placed the ice between your breasts and told you to keep it there. He slid his fingers inside which made shake and the ice fell.  
\- I said, keep the ice here. Do not let it fall.  
\- Fuck me, Tom! It’s not possible.  
\- Oh I will… but in the meantime. Keep yourself still otherwise… he said and pulled the fingers out. You let out a pained chuckle and nodded. He kissed your stomach as his hands caressed your inner thighs. He repositioned himself, put a pillow under your ass to lift you up a little and soon you felt a kiss on your inner thigh. You waited patiently and wrapped the silky scarves around your fingers so you could anchor yourself into the reality somehow when he began.  
First lick. You wanted to move but you remembered the ice and forced yourself to stay still. The first lick was long and slow and ended with an openmouthed kiss which turned into a gentle suck. You begged him to allow you to move but you did not dare because there was still a small amount of ice reminding you about not moving “or else”.  
You pressed your nails against your palms to prevent you from moving as he kept pleasing you with his mouth. Then you felt the fingers at your entrance again.

\- Three, please. you moaned and your wish was granted. The stretch reminded you about the last night, how his flesh had almost ripped you in half but in the most delicious ways. Tom moved his fingers and grinded them into you as he kept caressing and licking you until you came. You could not hold back anymore so you arched your back and threw your head back. The ice had melted a long time ago but you had tried to keep still anyway.  
Now however you weren’t keeping still. You shook as he prolonged your orgasm by licking you slowly, enjoying every bit of your arousal. You had lost all the cares of the world; you did not care what you looked like, tasted like or sounded like. It was mostly due to the liberating darkness, almost like believing that when you did not see him, he did not see you either. But he saw you and he loved what he saw. Your soft, sweet skin with Goosebumps as you shivered from the cool air that poured from the garden combined with his touch that made you tremble and moan. He loved to see you so flushed, dripping of arousal and struggling to be able to contain yourself with your breast heaving and back arched.

He stroked himself a few times to get him ready for you. He moved the pillow under your lower back and added one pillow to lift your ass higher and still providing support for your back. He was going to take you with a different angle this time. He rubbed his hardened flesh against you and teased your sensitive spots. When you were moaning again, he lifted your legs on his shoulders and aligned himself to your entrance. He was quite sure that you were aroused, relaxed and most importantly stretched enough to take him all the way instantly, so he slammed himself all the way in with force. You gasped for air for such intense action and bit your lip as he slid his hand between your legs.  
He started pounding into you as his finger rubbed you getting you closer to the edge again. Suddenly he stopped, pulled out, lowered your legs on the mattress and leaned close to hold you and to kiss you. He removed the blindfold and opened the knots. You instantly wrapped your arms around him but he took your hands, crossed his fingers with yours and slowly entered you again. You wrapped your legs around his hips and moved your hips against his. He started to grind himself into you because you knew that it was the thing that you liked and kept kissing you until you both were gasping for air. He moved slowly, holding your hands and supporting himself with his elbows.  
Every bit of stimulation kept pushing you closer to your release until you could not hold it back anymore. You stared deep into Toms eyes as you came. He felt you clenching around his manhood as he kept rocking himself against you with slow, steady pace. When he was sure that you were completely satisfied he quickened his pace until he reached his orgasm.  
With few, slow, deep thrusts he came undone and collapsed on you. You wrapped your arms around him and stroked his hair. He pulled out, removed the pillows and shifted himself to lay in your arms, completely satisfied and worn out. You caressed his cheek as he listened to your heartbeat. Every time he shifted even slightly and brushed you between your legs you shivered a little because you were quite sensitive after being teased, pleased, denied the satisfaction and then granted it many times. You listened to Toms breathing and then fell asleep. There was nothing much to do anyway; it was raining and the rainy days were the one that you loved to spend in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...  
> I hope it was alright.
> 
> :D


	28. Returning home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time slips away and it's time to go back to London

The time passed quickly and suddenly it was the last week. You had been all the time together, just relaxing and trying to make sure that the other person knew how much love there was to be given and received. The thought about leaving had been just a distant shadow somewhere far-far away in the horizon but sneakily it had managed to surprise you both.  
The first week had slipped away as you had been busy travelling, changing accommodation and settling in. The second and the third weeks had been amazing. You had visited some sights nearby, both natural sights and historical ones and otherwise you had been just swimming, sunbathing and most importantly enjoying each others company. The last week began with a thunderstorm. You had planned to go on a boat trip but there was no point since the weather was bad, besides it wasn’t safe either.  
You were reading on the terrace, sitting in a sun bed, or not so much reading because you were more fascinated about the storm. The storm of the first day at the villa, the previous one, had faded away from your mind already so you were more than happy to follow the clouds that sailed across the horizon and listen to the distant sounds of thunder. Tom came out and commented  
\- It is my brother, showing his might once more.  
\- What? you chuckled.  
\- Oh I am sorry, my not-brother, since I was adopted.  
\- I see… and you are…?  
\- I am Loki of Asgard, of course. Don’t you recognize your humble admirer? he said and bowed slightly.  
\- Aaa… Now I get it. Oh your brother… Meaning Thor… thunder… Yes… your “not-brother” is busy again. Tell me, what does a mighty god do here with a mere mortal such as myself? you teased  
\- Well You… he said and sat on the sun bed, lifted your feet and lowered them on his lap. Then he looked deep into your eyes and continued  
\- …are the keeper of my heart.   
\- Oh… That sounds like a superpower… or fancy superhero title. Like… Iron Man or… Captain America… Keeper of the Heart. I like that, it’s a good title. Or Hm… Heart Keeper… No… Keeper of the Heart.

You laughed and took Toms hand that was caressing you knee. He smiled. He had also just realized that in week from now you were back in London, or on your way. It made him sad because here he had had you all for himself. In London there were paparazzi –journalists and he was also slightly worried if his holiday was all over the tabloids. How would you take it? Could you handle being constantly evaluated? What you wore, what you said and what you did? Nothing was private in his life although he tried his best to keep his private life and publicity as two separate things.  
You did not talk about leaving. It had been the same thing when Tom had left London in winter. You both thought about it occasionally and it was like an elephant in the room; both of you knew it was there but neither of you addressed the matter. You were just a little more silent than usual and he was too. Caught up in his own thoughts.  
It was the last night at the villa. You had planned to return Bangkok a couple of days before the flight and check out the city. You were leaving early in the morning and it was the time to pack your things before having a final dinner on the terrace. You had planned together that you would stay up all night, watch the stars, take a long skinny dip and then just hold hands as the stars faded away into the sunrise.

Such a warm night. Silent and warm. Then the sun came up and it was time to check out the villa before the owner came to pick you up. A sound of an approaching car woke you up from your thoughts. The owner walked through the place quickly and made sure that nothing was broken or missing. Then he drove you to the ferry. He asked Tom to write a review online so it might boost his bookings that had been slightly down lately.  
You walked on the ferry and sat down with Tom. He embraced you and you both silently stared at the island that had been your home for few weeks. It held a special place in your heart because it was the place where you had learned to trust Tom completely and let him close, both physically and mentally, not forgetting emotionally as well. He had done the same and as he was sailing away with you he felt that he had never been so close to anyone and that was the force that would keep you together when you returned to the reality from the beautiful dream that you had been living for past weeks.

The ferry arrived to the mainland –port. You took a taxi to the railway station and bought tickets for the night –train. It was much nicer and cooler to travel at night and it meant that you did not have to worry about the hotel room instantly after reaching Bangkok. Tom had not booked a room because there had been no solid plan for returning home. The only solid thing was the flights he had booked.   
You were unable to sleep on the train again so instead of sleeping you guarded Toms dreams and your bags. There had been a storm during the previous day somewhere on the way and the train had to stop a couple of times as the workers cleared fallen trees from the tracks. You did not mind because it meant that Tom had more time to sleep since the train was late for a couple of hours. Or maybe a little more than that.  
You arrived in Bangkok during the afternoon and took a taxi to the hotel that was advertising free rooms in the train. You had noticed a brochure and glanced it through. You just hoped that the hotel was even half as good as it looked in the pictures but then again you started to be so tired that all you cared about was that it had a bed and a lock in the door.  
Fortunately there were free rooms and the hotel was decent enough. You took a small powernap because you had planned to go out in the evening. After the nap you took a shower and got dressed in that beautiful dress that you had been wearing earlier. Tom took a shower as well and complimented you for the great look… and also for being so energetic even though you had not slept for 2 days, or not that long, but almost. The point was that he was surprised how you managed to keep yourself in such great state of not-sleepiness. 

Bangkok was totally different experience for you both. It was noisy and there were lights, traffic and people everywhere, just like in London but it was different, slightly more chaotic or maybe it was only the heat combined with the lack of sleep that kept messing up with your head. You walked slowly hand in hand on the busy streets until you found a quiet place to eat. You just hoped that the place wasn’t quiet because the locals knew to avoid it for some reason, but when you checked out the menu as well as the prices, you came to a conclusion that the place was most likely quiet because the prices were significantly higher than elsewhere.  
The food was amazing and there was plenty of it, which was a good thing because you both had been surviving with snack-bars and fruits since leaving the villa so in other words, you were hungry. Tom suggested that you would walk around a little and see what was happening in Bangkok during night. Your body was already completely messed up so you figured that you would not be able to sleep anyway, besides walking felt good after sitting on the train for almost 15 hours. The storm damage had really delayed the arrival. And you kept reminding yourself that there was going to be that long flight home soon so walking was good.

The nighttime was magical. There were so many scents in the air that made you hungry although you had been eating a lot in the restaurant. You found a night market where were many different local food stands selling fried rice, grilled chicken, seafood, wok… Tom and you walked around and just kept tasting different things until you both were completely full. Then you returned to the hotel.  
Both of you fell on the bed and were asleep before either of you had managed to wish goodnights. Even you were able to sleep although it was a new place and there was a club right next door that kept playing EDM –hits until the sun came out. Then they put the TV on so you got a chance to listen to some Thai talk shows with commercial breaks.  
That day you spent in bed, sleeping, and only woke up to eat and drink. The only minus side of the hotel room was that there was no air conditioning and as you both had gotten used to the light breeze that blew from the sea and into your bedroom this hotel in the heart of Bangkok felt like a sauna. It was important to keep drinking otherwise you could had gotten dehydrated and that was not to be desired before a long-ass flight.  
Tom woke up and took care of the online check-in. He wrapped his arm around you and mumbled that after 7 hours you had to leave the hotel in order to be on time at the airport. You mumbled something about an alarm and he told you that it was taken care of. Then you both fell asleep.

The alarm went off. It was time to leave. You gathered your things although neither of you had really unpacked anything. Then you washed your face with cold water and asked the person working in the lobby to call a taxi and give your passports back because you were checking out.  
The receptionist recognized Tom Hiddleston because he was not wearing any sunglasses like he normally did and asked you to take a picture of him and her. You said “sure” and took three pictures. Then the taxi came. It was a long and hot drive to the airport. Tom and you had thought that there had been a lot of time to get through the securities and ditch your bags but when you finally got to the airport, after standing almost completely still in the evening traffic, you both realized that there was no time to get a drink or anything at the airport or you would miss the flight.  
The rest of the journey was hazy. You went to the airplane, it took off and suddenly you were above the clouds and the lights of Bangkok were somewhere far below. Tom squeezed your hand and ordered some snacks and drinks to make the travel more enjoyable. This time he did not fall asleep because you had been sleeping basically around the clock just a moment ago, but there was not much conversation either. You both were sad that the holiday was over and maybe a slightly worried of how the life in London would treat you.

This time there was no need to change the airplane but Tom had managed to book a straight flight from Bangkok to London. When you arrived to Heathrow –airport you were dying to get some fresh air and to walk a bit. London in July felt quite cool at first because you had gotten used to +30C at minimum and sun. London was rainy and slightly below 20C and there was a cool wind that was foreshadowing rain for the rest of the day. The flight had departed from Thailand at 11 PM and it arrived at 5 AM in London because there was the time difference of 7 hours and the flight had taken 13 hours.  
You took a taxi to your place and said goodbyes to Tom who was heading to his apartment. You had figured that it was most likely the best thing to do, for both to sleep in their own beds so it was more likely that you could deal with the lack of sleep in the way you felt that was best. You were not that tired but you wanted to wash every piece of clothing that you had in your bag and surely Tom wanted to do the same.  
When the taxi driver was about to drive away he told him to stop. He got out from the taxi, took his luggage from the trunk and paid the driver. He shouted  
\- Wait up!  
You stopped and turned.  
\- You really thought that I would just go home, did you?  
\- Well… Wasn’t that what we talked about?  
\- Maybe… but I figured that you have a washing machine as well… and a bed. I would rather deal with this lack of sleep and mountain of dirty clothes with you, if you don’t mind.  
Then it started to rain. You chuckled and said “come on” as you held the door open. When Tom was passing you, he flashed an adorable smile and kissed you on your cheek briefly. Then he took the bags and carried them to the elevator. When you both got in, he pushed you immediately against the door and kissed you with such dedication and intensity that your feet were about to give in because in his opinion he had been denied the pleasure of feeling your lips against his for too long.


	29. House chores and making out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title kind of sums it up

Neither of you had checked entertainment news for a while. Neither of you were that interested in them anyway besides you had avoided the Internet as well as any kind of news during your secret getaway, but when Tom finally checked out his email he saw multiple messages from his manager who was asking if the rumors were true and wanted to know if he understood just what kind of shit-storm he had left behind by leaving like that. The manager had also linked some pictures that had been taken of Tom and you.  
You filled the washing machine with Toms clothes and tried not to eavesdrop on his conversation but it was quite hard because the tone of Toms voice was getting frustrated and it was getting more and more apparent that the call was not that pleasant one.

\- I told you that I am going to take a holiday and even though I am back in London, it does not mean that my holiday is over. What becomes to the lady that I have been seen with in Bangkok as well as in Ko Samui, it is serious and not just a fling as the tabloids are speculating… No… I disagree, I think that I am also entitled to have a private life… I do not have to think everything publicity-wise… No! It is not the way it goes… I am so sorry, but you work for me and my love life is not your business. I do app-… yes I do appreciate the work you do and the long hours… yes… I do realize… Fine, I will meet you tomorrow. At 4 PM, marvelous.

The phone call ended and Tom walked into the bathroom where you were sitting on the closed toilet seat.  
\- I guess you heard.  
\- I did not mean to listen, I really didn’t… But you sound tense, is there something I can do? you asked.  
\- No, and you should not worry about it. I am sorry that you had to witness that.  
\- No-no… Please, do not be sorry. Joys and sorrows, right?  
\- Yes. he said and smiled a little. Then he continued  
\- My manager thinks that I should make a public announcement about you. He thinks that we should turn you into something, quote, more interesting than a student of English literature.  
\- Oh? How does anyone know that I am a student or…  
\- Apparently while we were gone there have been some headlines and the yellow press always finds out. They pay people to talk, so anyone who has seen us eating lunch at the university might had contacted them and told them who you are.  
\- I see… And now your manager wants me to be something more interesting than a student. How am I supposed to do that? You know, I am just…  
\- You are not “just” anything. You are so smart and bright, funny and witty. Beautiful… amazing. Passionate and talented…  
\- And what is my talent exactly? I must be a total PR-nightmare.  
\- Please, love, do not think like that.  
\- You do not understand! This is me… I do boring stuff, I wash dirty laundry at Sunday noon when other people are meeting friends and doing things, having brunches and lunches. I do not own any designer clothes, I don’t idolize celebrities or follow the yellow press and I rather spend a Friday night home than in a fancy bar… I don’t even have that many friends here… mostly because it is not that easy for me to meet people… I am awkward and I hardly ever say anything funny or truly interesting, especially in a large crowd.  
\- We both know that it is not true. And the parts that are, I find irresistible. Like for example how down-to-earth you are. You are one of those people who are difficult to get close to and who you never really get to know by a first glance, but when you get close to them you find out that behind that cool exterior there is a warm heart, a person whose friendship is a gift and who can be trusted. I love you and I trust you completely, this you know.  
\- I do. I do know that. So what do you think I should do to be more interesting?  
\- Nothing! You are just wonderful as you are. Come on, no need to hide in the bathroom. I am sure that the washing machine does not mind being alone but I do. he said and pulled you to stand up. You muttered something about hopefully not ruining his shirts since you had not washed them before. Tom answered “silly (Y/N)” with a loving tone and led you into the living room.  
\- Maybe it is a good thing that I am slightly on the boring-side of the spectrum… Surely the yellow press will not get interested in me since there is nothing to write about. Right? You said and waited Tom to say something. He however didn’t comment. You sat on the sofa next to him and sighed

\- It’s strange to be back, isn’t it? you stated because it was getting obvious that there was no answer from Tom to the previous topic. You did not know if it was a good thing or should you had gotten worried. You however decided to push the thought away from your mind and concentrate on your boyfriend.  
\- Yes, but I do not really care about the side of the planet we’re on as long as I am on the same side with you.  
\- Oh, same side? In that case I could be in… I don’t know… Morocco and we would still be on the same time zone and on the northern hemisphere.  
\- Right… I forgot that I have to be more specific with words with you, love.  
\- Ha-ha! You know it only pays homage to the way we met.  
\- Yes… indeed. I shall never forget that day and the way you got me hooked, from the first conversation on.  
You smiled widely and leaned closer to kiss him. He cupped your face and pressed his lips on yours. You loved the way he engaged your lips into a kiss no matter how distracted your mind was. When he kissed you, your mind went blank from any other thoughts and all the worries melted away until they did not exist anymore. He crossed his fingers with yours and nibbled your lower lip before deepening the kiss.  
His mouth devoured yours and demanded your whole attention. You shifted to sit on Toms lap with your knees on the both sides of his thighs, facing him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed feeling his hands gently massaging the skin of your back under your shirt. He shifted his hands slowly until he was feeling the skin of your thighs. He moved his hands on your knees and caressed the sides of your legs before returning to stroke your thighs. You fondled his jaw with your fingertips and sometimes sank your fingers into his hair that curled a little from the humid London weather. The time slipped away as you got lost into each others embrace and soon 2 hours had passed. You had been kissing, having a conversation and kissed some more.

The washing machine beeped. Toms clothes were ready. You sighed as you parted your lips from his. You were about to abandon his embrace when he asked  
\- Do you must?  
\- Yep… I want to get the second machine-full going before it gets any later.  
\- What if I will not let you go? he asked and wrapped his arms firmly around your waist. You laughed and answered  
\- Well… it would mean that your dear shirts would get very wrinkly and I am not going to iron them.  
\- I don’t care, love.  
The machine beeped again.  
\- And that will continue.  
\- It is a very demanding sound. Fine! he said and let you go.  
He helped you to hang his clothes to dry and after you had filled the washer again and watched it to start washing your clothes, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and dragged you playfully into your bedroom. Your bed had not been slept in for a month. You had changed the linens just before leaving so you were now greeted with the fresh sheets. It was a rainy day and those were the best to spend in bed anyway.  
Tom turned you around and kissed you passionately. You answered to his kiss with a same hunger, the burning desire you had for him. He lowered you gently on the bed and crawled on top of you, locking your hands against the pillow with his and chuckled mischievously when he remembered the last time he had been in your bed. His tone was sexy as hell and you knew instantly what he was thinking about.  
\- We have about 2 hours, love, before your washing machine demands your undivided attention.  
\- I would not say “undivided”…  
\- Any suggestions of what we should do with this spear time?  
\- Well… I do have a couple of suggestions…  
\- Let’s hear them.  
\- Well, we could watch a movie-  
Tom shook his head.  
\- …or take a nap…  
Tom shook his head again.  
\- …or talk about politics.  
Tom started to laugh because at this point he realized that you were only teasing him.  
\- That’s it? No other suggestions? he teased as he leaned closer to kiss you but stopped before his lips touched yours. He stayed close and stared into your eyes intensely.  
\- Let me ask you again… What do you think we should do with these two, uninterrupted hours?  
\- I gave you some suggestions, if you’re not happy with them, why don’t you suggest something? you answered with a deep, soft voice and returned to his gaze with the same intensity.  
\- Well, my proposition includes some intense making out… starting with kissing…  
He pressed his lips on yours and kissed you briefly before continuing  
\- …and kissing…  
He kissed you again, this time for a longer time and with adding a bit pressure compared to the first one that had been just a soft, light, innocent kiss.  
\- …and more kissing.  
This time he kissed you with everything he got and demanded you to let his tongue to enter your mouth. As he kissed you with great passion, he lowered himself on you so you could really feel him there, his weight, his entire presence which you welcomed gladly. You rubbed his leg with the sole of your foot and wrapped your arms around him as soon as he released them. His hands caressed you freely and found all the spots that made you moan. You pulled off his t-shirt and enjoyed the feeling of his strong muscles against you. He did the same to you and suddenly you both were lacking the most of your clothes.

You woke up to the sound of the washing machine, forced yourself out from the bed and walked to the bathroom. Tom had fallen asleep and you were going to return to bed as soon as you had hung your clothes to dry. You had not felt so tired before but now the tiredness was really kicking in. You checked the time and came to a conclusion that the machine had been beeping for an hour, maybe even closer to two hours. You returned to bed and snuggled close to Tom.  
After a few hours you both woke up, got dressed and ordered Nepalese takeaway. When you got a message saying that the delivery was in 15 minutes so you decided to go and wait for the food-guy to arrive so you could buzz him in when you saw him. It was getting dark and although it apparently was not raining anymore, the sky was still gray and foreshadowed more local showers for the night.  
\- Tom, there are photographers on the street in front of this house… you said casually as you made that notion. You peeked out from the window in a way that was as unnoticeable as possible, partially hiding behind the curtains and looked out for the delivery guy. Tom was reading a book on the sofa and put the book away when you said that.  
\- Why are there photographers on the street in front of MY house? you asked after a moment of silence. You turned to look at Tom who sighed and stated then with a calm but slightly annoyed tone

\- So it begins.


	30. Do you see me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating a famous person has its ups and downs.

During the weeks that followed you got the first taste of that it was like to be famous. Suddenly your face was in the every cover of every tabloid and everywhere you went there were people who recognized you. You after all were the “hot news” the envied girlfriend of Tom Hiddleston. Luckily no one had managed to dig any dirt of you and they wouldn’t had been able to anyway; you were a normal person with a rather boring life. Boring meaning that nothing had really happened to you before you had attended one certain course. You had no messy breakups and you had never broken the law.

But so it happened that now that you had become suddenly kind-of famous yourself, you started to get fan mail as well with occasional hate-mail included. There were the girls who wanted to get to your inner circle, aka be your friends, and that way closer to Tom but there were also men who expressed their interest for you.  
Your studies had begun again and you were putting all your effort to catch up by passing the exams that you had missed due to the nervous breakdown a few months before. Tom was now busier again since the summer holiday was over and he had to get back to his work. You talked every day and if you were unable to talk, then at least you wished each other goodnight via Whatsapp. Tom had to skip town for some time. He was shooting a movie on the other side of the globe and since you had your studies, you could not join him although he had asked. He came to visit you in London every time he had a some time off, even for 2 days when he spent half of it traveling.

When he visited you, you felt like your heart was bursting and when he left again, it felt like your heart was breaking in pieces, but you understood that it was the state of things right now and there was nothing you could had done. The only thing you could do was to enjoy the moments that you got to spend with Tom  
He took you out and sometimes you even attended some fancy galas with him. When you were in such event you felt like a fish out from water because everyone else was either famous or otherwise rich and influential. You were just a student of English literature and Tom Hiddleston’s plus one. 

The time passed on, a winter came. The temperatures were reaching 0 Celsius and it was raining all the time. You had hoped to see some snow because you preferred snow to icy rain, but it was not going to happen anytime soon. It was Christmas and you had planned to take Tom to visit your family. It was about the time that he met them, especially because your relationship had been all over in the entertainment news. Besides it had been Tom who had suggested it first. He wanted to know your family because he was being serious about your future together.  
You came home after a long day at the university. You were going to have a Skype-date with Tom because you had to make some travel plans. You had suggested that he would fly directly to your homeland a couple of days before Christmas and then you would meet him there at the airport and continue forward together. The plan was actually hang out together a day or two and then travel further. You could not wait to get your hands on him since the last time had been an eternity ago.

You called Tom as you were opening your letters. He answered and it was great to see him again, although it was only on the computer screen.  
\- Good Evening, love! he said and smiled when he answered the Skype video call.  
\- Hi Tom! How are you?  
\- I am good, soon starting the filming again. Did you get a lot of letters again?  
\- Hm… the normal amount. A few. I must say that less than before lately, which is good.  
\- Any hate mail?  
\- Nah, I have not opened them yet. you said and showed the unopened envelopes to Tom.  
\- How are your studies?  
\- They’re good. I am passing the exams, if that’s what you’re worried about. you teased and pursed up your lips to the camera.  
\- Oh, I would love to kiss those lips. he said.  
\- I would love to do plenty of other things too. he continued.  
You blushed. It had been a topic that you had never been too comfortable of talking about but with Tom it felt natural to talk about anything, even bedroom stuff.  
\- Well we both know that you have plenty of tricks hidden in your sleeves, Mr. Hiddleston. And after 2 short weeks, you get to do anything you want to me. you commented as you opened one letter. It had drawn your attention because it had a blank white envelope that was missing even your address so it had not come via mail. Someone had brought it personally and slipped it into your mailbox.  
\- What’s that? Tom asked when your attention was more in the letter than in him.  
\- Uhm, nothing. you said and put the letter away. It was getting late in London and Toms movie filming was about to start. You knew that you were not calling him again today therefore you put your mail away and shifted your gaze and attention to the man on the other side of the screen. You talked for another 15 minutes but then he had to go.

Ending the call was always hard. It felt sometimes that every time you had to say goodbye, something died inside you, a small piece that you could not get back anymore. You loved Tom very much but being more apart than together was getting your mood down sometimes. You knew that Tom was missing you too but you were silently sure that he was too busy to spend his days thinking about you because sometimes even you were so stuffed with your studies that missing Tom was the least thing you wanted to put your energy to. It sounded cruel and it felt even crueler but getting totally focused into your studies was the thing that kept you going.

You sighed and stared at the black video-call screen. Then you remembered the letter again. You opened it and took out a white, blank A4 paper that had one printed word in the down-right –corner.

“Hi”

“Well this is something” you chuckled in your mind and put the letter away as you started to prepare dinner and do your homework. You had to get early to bed anyway because the exams were about to begin tomorrow since it was only 3 weeks till Christmas anyway. The next day when you came home you were greeted with yet another white envelope. You opened it and found a same kind of blank A4 with only few words written in the down-right –corner.

“Do you see me?”

“Nope” you thought and started to read for the exam that was in few days.

“I see you”

“Well, that’s nice” you thought when you read yet another letter.

“I want to play with you”

You stared at the letters on the black paper. You were not in the mood for games really so you out the letter into the paper recycling basket like you had done with the previous letters.

“I want you to be my doll”

You laughed. You had gotten some pretty strange letters before. Some of them had asked for silly things such as to send a tissue that Tom had used or collect his toe nails, yes specifically toe nails, when he cuts them and send them to a die-hard fan. Some people were strange and the letters were quite entertaining sometimes but you never wasted more of your thoughts for them.

“You are ignoring me”

“Right… How exactly?” you scoffed. It was the sixth letter in a week and you were getting annoyed. The first letter had come on Monday and now it was Saturday. You had decided to keep an eye on the front door on Sunday because you had no plans and from your apartment there was a pretty good view to the street and you saw who was leaving and returning to the apartment building where you were living in.

Tom called you on Skype. It was a late evening in London. You had not mentioned the letters to Tom because in your mind they did not matter anyway. They were not the strangest, hence the toe nails, but the thing that bothered you was that they had been brought to you personally and not via mail. That meant that someone had visited your apartment building 6 times within a week just to get your attention.  
\- Hey Tom! you said when you answered the video call. He looked as good as ever, tanned and happy. Dear Tom.  
\- What’s up? you asked.  
\- Nothing really, sipping my afternoon tea and thinking about my girlfriend.  
\- Awww, that’s so sweet!  
\- How are your exams?  
\- Well, I think so far so good. I have been studying like a maniac though so if I will not get good grades, I most likely will lose my mind.  
\- Relax! It is Christmas soon! Oh, I need your passport number to buy you a flight ticket-  
\- You don’t have to do that! I can buy it myse-  
\- I insist. he said. You mumbled “alright” and disappeared from the camera for a moment. Then you returned with your passport and typed the number into the chat box.  
\- Alright, thank you! So any plans for tomorrow?  
\- Yeah… Actually I am going to stalk a bit.  
\- Stalk? My girlfriend is a stalker? This sounds interesting. Come-come, tell me everything.  
\- Well, I’ve gotten these letters. It’s no big deal…  
\- Love letters? Should I get jealous?  
\- Ha-ha! The letters… they’re so stupid anyway. Just a blank paper with a couple of words typed on it.  
\- Why do you stalk then? Tomorrow is Sunday, there is no postal deliveries then.  
\- That’s the thing. The envelopes do not have even my address on them so they have been brought personally.  
\- Okay… That is creepy. Maybe you should take the letters to the police.  
\- Oh come on! It’s nothing. Just something about wanting to play with me and whatever.  
-Right, well. You must promise me that if it continues, you will go to the police. I am willing to take it to police if you will not.  
\- Yeah, sure. you said and changed the topic. You talked a few hours and then you had to go to bed because it was getting seriously late in London. You wished Tom sweet dreams and hung up. Suddenly there were 3 loud bangs on your door. You jumped a little and then went to open the door. You figured that it was a grumpy neighbor who had heard you talking and lost his sleep. The walls of your apartment building were annoyingly thin.

When you opened the door, the corridor was empty. You asked “hello” with a soft voice and then closed the door since there was no reply and the corridor was empty anyway. You closed the curtains and then went to wash your teeth. Suddenly there were those 3 loud bags at your door again. You walked into your entrance hall and stared at the door.

bang-bang-bang

You felt your skin getting Goosebumps as the shivers spread through your body as you stared at the door with the toothbrush in your mouth. Then nothing happened. You returned into the bathroom and rinsed your mouth. You checked that your door was locked and went to bed. The next morning you camped to the window. You were going to nail that bastard. You knew your neighbors by their clothes. There was the cat-lady who wore a fur and always walked her cat on Sundays. Then there was the teenager who used a black biker jacket and started to smoke right at the front door so the smoke sometimes got into your apartment if you had your window open. Then also the busy business man who lived with a woman who looked like she could use a meal now and then. There were other people as well, but the point being, you had learned to recognize the people who lived in the building.

Hours passed. No one suspicious entered the apartment during your watch and you got no letters that day. The next day you had school again. You left the apartment and went to the bus stop. Somehow you had a feeling that someone was watching you, but you shrugged your shoulders and decided that it was only in your mind. You took a bus and on the next stop from your bus stop there was a tall man in long black coat waiting. He was wearing a hat and when he entered the bus you noticed that he had a V for Vendetta –mask. The bus was half-empty but the man came to sit right behind you.

Now you were feeling highly uncomfortable as you listened to the heavy breathing –sound coming from behind you. Luckily there was no traffic that morning so your bus reached the University rather quickly. You pressed the stop-button and then stepped out. You glanced at the bus when it drove away and saw the man in the mask staring at you, then he waved his hand slowly.

It was a long day. You were crept out about the event but being busy at the university distracted your mind from it so when you returned home you had basically forgotten about the whole thing.

“Soon I will get your attention”

You breathed in and decided not to panic because that was exactly what that someone wanted. This time however you did not put the letter away. Instead trashing it, you took all the old letters from the recycling bin and put dates on them with post it-stickers. You also reached the envelopes that you had thought reusing since they were in mint condition. You called to the police.

You explained the situation to them and they said that unfortunately since there had been no real threat or harassment, there was nothing they could do at this point. You understood it and thanked them for their time. They told you to call again if the situation got any more serious; if there were threats or someone tried to attack you. They said that they have taken notes and they had your contact information and a mark about your call with a description of the letters and banging as well as the man in the mask.

You walked to the window and saw that man standing on the street. You closed the curtains and sat down on the sofa. You sent a message to Tom telling him that you called the police but there is nothing they can do until it really gets serious. Tom called you to make sure that you were fine. Soon there was the loud bangs on the door again. Now even Tom heard them. You went to open the door and saw a white envelope on the floor.

“I have your attention now”

it said. You burst into tears and locked the door. Tom did his best to calm you down but he had to return to the filming. He was on set and he had wasting everybody’s time. He was having a bad day and you were tired so what he said sounded like he did not care. He promised to call you as soon as possible, which he did. You had calmed down and assured him that you were alright now.

The next 3 days there were no letters and no one was stalking you. You started to think that the person had his fun and stopped. It was late Friday night and you were returning home from a student Christmas –party. The autumn semester was over and you were supposed to fly home on Sunday. You were talking on the phone with Tom.  
\- Yeah, yeah. I got the ticket! Thank you!   
\- Oh, have there been any signs from the man anymore?  
\- No, nothing. But hey, if I will not be on the airport, then you’ll know what happened. you laughed. You were slightly drunk because the party had had free drinks, besides you drank so rarely that even a couple of ciders made you feel tipsy and now you had been drinking much more.  
\- Ha-ha! Good joke! Just get your ass on that plane. I cannot wait to see you, love.  
\- Yeah… likewise. Anyway… I guess the next time I’ll be talking to you is… face to face.  
\- Yes. Well… goodnight. Remember to drink a lot of water or you’ll surely have a hangover tomorrow morning.  
\- Yes, sir! you said and smiled. Gosh you loved his voice.  
\- I love you. you said and then after he had said it back, you hung up.

You walked home from the bus stop and stopped to get your keys. You cursed as you dropped your bag and squatted to pick it up. Suddenly there was a shadow blocking the streetlights. You raised your head and saw the man in the mask right there in front of you.


	31. The masked man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the final chapter.  
> There is a good ending and not so good ending.
> 
> The good one is the first one and the other one is below it, read it if you dare :D
> 
> ** marks where the good ending starts  
> *** marks where the bad ending starts

The man did not say anything. You got your purse and stood up. He was tall and his presence was communicating threat and danger. You froze and stared at him for a moment. Then you stepped backwards 3 small steps and decided to go around him. He however moved every time when you moved and spread his long arms to block you from the safety.  
\- Alright, you’ve had your fun. Haa-haa, can you please let me pass?  
The man shook his head slowly.  
\- Right, well… I am going to pass anyway. you mumbled and tried to find your phone. You had dropped it into your purse when you had tried to locate the keys. The man kept mirroring your movements and you started to get nervous. The street was silent at that time of the night, it was well past midnight already, and the surrounding buildings looked dark as well, which meant that your neighbors were sleeping already.

You decided to run for it although your chances did not look too bright; you were wearing high heels and you were slightly drunk, besides the ground was slippery due to the icy rain that had continued almost for a week. You took a couple of steps backwards and then turned. There was a local pub and you reasoned that there were people and people meant safety. The only problem was that the pub was located in the other end of a dark alley that freaked you out in the night time because it looked almost as if it was a black hole with monsters inside.

Now however you had no other choice than to face your fears. You started to run towards the alley and towards the pub. Your heels echoed in the humid, chilly night and you did not dare to turn and look if the man was following you. You heard only your own breathing mixed with the sound of your own shoes. The alley was dark but when you finally went deep enough into the darkness, your eyes adapted and you could see where you were going and finally you could see the faint glow of the pub lights. Just around the corner and you were there. Suddenly you realized that the man was indeed following you and his footsteps were getting closer. You felt him reaching out for you although you were running from him. You fell down on the ground and screamed. You knew that you should had screamed earlier but you had had lost your capability of making any sounds. That was how scared you were. Now the pain of falling shook you out from the terror and you were able to scream for pain.

 

**  
Someone was outside the pub having a smoke. He heard the screams and came to see what was going on. He saw the masked man holding you on the ground and trying to muffle your voice by strangling you and keeping his other hand on your mouth. The man shouted “Oi!” and attacked him. You had been trying to fight him off but he had been too strong and you were disoriented because of the fall. You had hit your head a little. The masked man fell on the ground and the guy who had come to help took a bottle from the ground, shattered it and pointed it at the masked man. He told you to call for help, which you did and soon there were policemen making an arrest.  
You answered to couple of questions that the police had and promised to come in the morning to the police station to give an official report. You mentioned the letters and promised to bring them with you. There were paramedics who cleaned and patched up your bruises that you had gotten when you had fallen on the ground; just some small ones on your palms and knees. Then you went home and checked if your throat had any bruises on it. Luckily there were none, not yet at least.

That night you did not sleep. There was no way you could had slept. Then suddenly it was morning and you had to go to the station. You stared at yourself in the mirror and saw light purple marks on your throat but luckily they were quite harmless. You could not even notice them if you did not know where to look, but you knew. You knew exactly how his hand has covered your mouth as the other had strangled you.  
On the police station you told about the letters again and how that man had been standing in front of your apartment building even before and come to the bus that one morning. There was no evidence that would had linked the masked man to the letters but you were sure that it was him.

It was afternoon when you got home. You had not packed yet and as you were about to begin, you heard someone knocking on the door. You jumped a little and walked to the entrance hall. Another knock.  
\- Who is it? you asked and leaned against the door and pressed your ear on it. A woman voice answered. It was the cat lady who had heard about the attack from someone who had heard about it from someone. She wanted to know whether you were alright and she had baked you some pie. You opened and told the woman that you were fine and the man was now in the custody. The woman told you that she had seen the man standing in front of the apartment building many times before in his mask, always staring at your window. Then he had found a way to get in and she had ran into him in the elevator once. The masked man had never said anything. He had just nodded slowly, delivered the letter and then left.

You thanked your neighbor for this information, asked her to call the police and tell them what she had seen. Maybe that was enough to link the letters to the man. You also for the pie and told you that you were leaving tomorrow to visit your parents.  
\- Maybe it’s for the best. she said and smiled briefly. Then she promised to call the police and tell them everything she had just told you.  
You agreed. A little time away from the neighborhood felt like a good idea. You wished the woman merry Christmas, thanked for the pie and then closed the door. The rest of the evening you packed and then went early to bed. You put the pie into the freezer because you did not feel like eating anything. Just before you were going to fall asleep you remembered that you needed to check-in on the flight. You managed to do it in a couple of minutes and then you let yourself fall asleep.

The next morning you took a bus to the airport. You were there so early that you managed to eat in a small restaurant after getting rid of your luggage and going through the security. You were deep in your thoughts and then left to the gate where you had to queue for a moment. However Tom had purchased you business class –ticket so you kind of managed to skip the line. Some people glanced angrily at you but you did not care.  
The flight arrived to the airport. You got your luggage and then moved further. You opened your phone and soon it rang. He said that he was having a cup of tea in the café near the exit, you told him that you had just gotten your bags and were heading to the exit. You smiled widely and walked through the long corridors until you saw the big exit –sign and a small café next to it. Then you saw Tom, reading a newspaper and breathing in the steam. He lifted his gaze from the paper and looked around. You waved your hand as a greeting. When he noticed you he stood up and as you got to him, you practically dived into his arms and held him tight. He pulled back a little and then kissed you. He mumbled “I have missed you so much” against your lips to which you answered “I love you”.

 

***  
You fell down on your knees and hands and hit your head se the attacker jumped on you. He turned you around and put his hand on your mouth so you were unable to scream, not that there had been anyone hearing you anyway. You fought him but he was too strong. He grabbed your head and hit it against the asphalt twice. You felt a sharp pain and something maybe cracking then you passed out. The man lifted you up and carried you into his car.  
There was an old, abandoned factory at the edge of the city. He drove there and then carried you into a rusty building, down the stairs and underground. He put you to bed and chained your leg to the bed. The he sat down on the bed to wait for you to wake up.

You wake up after some hours, it could had been five hours, a day, maybe more. You had no idea. Your head hurt terribly and when you touched the back of it, it felt sticky and even a lightest touch was enough to make your head explode. The masked man had left the room. You sat up and noticed that the pillow was quite red so you had bled quite a lot. The next thing you noticed was the chain that connected you to the bed. You tried to pull it off but it was impossible. You got an immediate flash back to the movie Saw, where the man had to cut his foot off in order to escape.

The man entered the room. He did not say anything. He sat down on a chair that was in the corner of the small room. He kept staring at you minute after minute. You weighted your options; you could try to reason your way out of it, to promise that you would not say anything to the authorities if he now let you go or you could try to plea for your life and ask him to take you into the hospital.  
But then you noticed it. The wall. The masked man had a clip of every article there had been about you. Pictures that he had taken himself, chocolate bar wrappings that he had taken from the garbage after you had thrown them into bin. He had clearly followed you for some time but you had never noticed. You turned your head to the man. He had been staring at the wall too and now turned his head so he returned to stare at you.  
You swallowed your tears as you realized that there was no way to reason your way out from this. Your only hope was that someone tried to reach you and then got worried when you did not answer. Suddenly your phone rang. You recognized the ringtone, it was Tom. The man searched through your bag and took the phone. He walked out from the room and closed the door behind him.

Tom had arrived on the airport. He knew that you were going to land after an hour so he decided to go and get a tea in the meanwhile. He got his bags and slowly walked through the long corridors until he saw the big exit –sign and a small café next to it. “Perfect!” he thought to himself and walked to the sales counter. He ordered a tea and a cookie to go with it. He asked whether there were any newspapers in English and then walked to the table. He read the newspaper and occasionally checked the time from his phone.  
He smiled when he realized that your plane had just landed. He decided to wait for a moment and then call you to let you know where he was.

He selected your number from his contacts and tapped the green call-button. The phone rang quite a long time until it was answered. He greeted you but there was no answer. He asked if everything was alright but there was no answer still. Just when he thought that the phone was in your bag and the call had connected by an accident, he heard heavy breathing from the other end that chilled his core. Then the call was disconnected and your phone could not be reached anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. Thank you for reading!
> 
> I am finishing this story now because I have been lacking ideas for it for some time now. I rather write chapters that have some point than chapters that are pointless. I feel that this story needed an ending otherwise it would become pointless.
> 
> Anyway... Which ending did you prefer?
> 
> \- Venla :)


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